Episode 56

full
Published on:

14th Dec 2022

S3E5 - Vitruvian Bong

Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.

Laura and Xhafer play some more plot poker, creating an episode focusing on some of B5's side characters. Meanwhile, the roots of fascism grow deeper on Babylon 5 as Earthgov appoints a political liaison to keep Sheridan out of trouble in Season 3 Episode 5, Voices of Authority.

Transcript
Xhafer:

Hello, and welcome to who are you?

Xhafer:

A Babylon five watch cast hosted by two former strangers.

Xhafer:

Now friends who've gotten to know each other and will continue to get to know

Xhafer:

each other while we're watching a favorite show from their childhood Babylon five.

Laura:

And I'm Laura.

Xhafer:

and we're gonna play some plot poker.

Laura:

Yeah, we have fresh new cards.

Laura:

Don't

Xhafer:

Yup.

Xhafer:

We've, we're diving into a new set here.

Xhafer:

All of the shadow cards haven't made it.

Xhafer:

The cards in the shadow expansion rather have not made it to their destination yet.

Xhafer:

So we're going to open some great war packs.

Xhafer:

And we've also taken our previous piles of characters.

Xhafer:

Problems solutions and twists.

Xhafer:

From the first box and paired them down to just five or six in a pile.

Xhafer:

So that way we get a lot of new stuff, kind of keep it fresh.

Laura:

Yeah, mixing it up here.

Xhafer:

And with that said let's, let's, let's crack some

Laura:

I love it.

Laura:

This is my favorite part of plot poker.

Xhafer:

Do you always use scissors to crack a pack?

Xhafer:

I've never noticed this

Laura:

I'm not good at it.

Laura:

I haven't been using scissors, but I'd asked her in this time I

Laura:

was like, get me some scissors.

Laura:

I'm so bad at it.

Laura:

Oh, I have a good one.

Xhafer:

You got a

Laura:

My first.

Laura:

Well, my first character.

Laura:

Is Zafris.

Xhafer:

Oh, is it Zathura's.

Xhafer:

or is it Zafris?

Laura:

amorous, but I'm not a hundred percent

Xhafer:

what about Zathura's?

Xhafer:

if you look at the layout, there's four or five different

Xhafer:

Zathura's cards in this set.

Laura:

Oh, really?

Xhafer:

they all have the apostrophe in a different place.

Laura:

That's cute.

Laura:

This is middle apostrophe, everyone.

Laura:

This is between the T and the H.

Xhafer:

Let's see.

Xhafer:

Well, I just got a labor strike.

Laura:

Labor strike.

Laura:

Hmm.

Laura:

Where are we seeing that before?

Laura:

Oh, I have a second character in here.

Xhafer:

Nice.

Laura:

I have Lieutenant David Corwin.

Xhafer:

Oh, Hey, we know that

Laura:

know that guy.

Laura:

We love that guy.

Xhafer:

I got a prime minister Verano of the Centauri.

Laura:

I don't remember that prime minister.

Xhafer:

He is the current prime

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

All right.

Xhafer:

Oh, this one's great.

Xhafer:

It's Marcus and it's the title is bluff.

Xhafer:

And look at this picture.

Xhafer:

That's a great card.

Laura:

That's a good, good card.

Xhafer:

I'm going to put that under

Laura:

I was going to say, that sounds like a solution to me.

Xhafer:

Ooh, that's a really good card, but a total spoily I'm

Xhafer:

going to set that one aside for.

Xhafer:

When it's not a giant spoiler.

Laura:

we were going to try to pick spoilers out of here right now, and then

Laura:

work them back in to spray the listener.

Xhafer:

Now my second pack only had super spoily cards and Marcus.

Xhafer:

So.

Xhafer:

Oh, Hey, this is actually the plot of the next episode we're reviewing.

Xhafer:

So I'll put it in for

Laura:

Yeah, do it.

Xhafer:

Not, not the one we're about to do, but next week's.

Xhafer:

Ooh, I got a techno MEJ.

Laura:

Whew.

Laura:

That could be like anything that could be your character.

Laura:

That could be your problem.

Laura:

That could be a solution.

Laura:

Just surprise us.

Laura:

Oh, I have a character for this episode.

Laura:

How funny?

Xhafer:

Nice.

Xhafer:

Is it R a minister of peace.

Laura:

sure is human character.

Laura:

Julie Musante.

Xhafer:

Well, I just opened a big old pile of PACS.

Xhafer:

I feel.

Xhafer:

Good.

Xhafer:

My inner child is satiated.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

I got my four cards in front

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

You.

Laura:

You selected.

Xhafer:

I have selected.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

So our episode starts Ooh, with a soul hunter coming to the station.

Laura:

That's an APL at that sounds familiar.

Xhafer:

Is, this is.

Xhafer:

Isn't the B plot of that episode, the latent telepath, or am I just

Xhafer:

throw those episodes right across?

Xhafer:

Cause I just got the latent Taliban.

Xhafer:

That's the problem on the station?

Xhafer:

It can't be.

Laura:

Surely not that's a lot to go, but as I say, that's a lot

Laura:

to go on and one episode That's how Babylon five B you guys.

Laura:

That's how it do.

Laura:

No.

Xhafer:

Okay.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So, so hunter arrives at our station in our cold open.

Xhafer:

And we have a latent telepath running around, causing all kinds of problems.

Xhafer:

The Layton telepath.

Xhafer:

Is Eventually encountered by Marcus.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

Who Bluffs them?

Xhafer:

Into calming down.

Xhafer:

They were having one of those side tremor things.

Laura:

Mm.

Xhafer:

That used to be a problem.

Xhafer:

Before the Sycor regulated everything.

Xhafer:

So Marcus comes in.

Xhafer:

And kind of Bluffs,

Laura:

That sounds very Marcus.

Xhafer:

Yeah, I kind of, and again, I just like get them to calm down and then uh,

Xhafer:

You know, Franklin can get that tell path on the underground railroad or what have

Laura:

It's the soul hunter looking for the latent telepath.

Xhafer:

The soul hunter.

Xhafer:

We don't know.

Xhafer:

Who they're there for?

Laura:

Okay, they're doing that thing again.

Xhafer:

They're doing that thing again.

Xhafer:

And towards the end of the episode, they encounter.

Xhafer:

Marcus who asks.

Xhafer:

Who are you?

Xhafer:

To the soul hunter.

Xhafer:

To which the soul hunter stops and is very puzzled.

Xhafer:

And then just, just like the time isn't right.

Xhafer:

And leaves.

Laura:

Oh, that's very foreboding for Mr.

Laura:

Marcus.

Xhafer:

It is.

Xhafer:

Sure.

Xhafer:

I hope nothing bad happens to that guy.

Laura:

I a.

Laura:

Can see Marcus in this role, I can I look forward to this Margus heavy episode?

Laura:

Oh, well, I got to ditch my card cause I tried to draw Leighton

Laura:

telepath for the B plot, but we've.

Laura:

We're already Okay.

Laura:

And the B Zach Allen.

Laura:

We're getting some good faces from our season three intro.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

Because Zach Allen gets his own face in season three, intro.

Laura:

And Marcus gets his own face.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

This is a real season three shining episode.

Laura:

And Zach Allen is dealing with some changing opinions around the

Xhafer:

that sounds like the episode.

Xhafer:

We're about to review a little bit, actually.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah, maybe it's a little bit Nightwatch related.

Laura:

Maybe, maybe it's a little psych world related to the C okay.

Laura:

The.

Laura:

Earth government.

Laura:

Has made an Alliance.

Laura:

With that race.

Laura:

Remember the race that we saw in the episode where a.

Laura:

Ivanova makes that Alliance.

Laura:

What was her name?

Xhafer:

I don't remember.

Laura:

Yeah, but we had.

Xhafer:

the creep

Laura:

The Creepys.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

The creeper race.

Laura:

So um,

Xhafer:

The Jared lottos.

Xhafer:

Yeah,

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

We've made the Alliance.

Laura:

With those guys, because we're trying to you know, shore up some things

Laura:

back home, we're trying to protect.

Laura:

Earth.

Laura:

Because of these, these shifting.

Laura:

Opinions that we have about aliens and these aliens, you know,

Laura:

they were pretty on the ball.

Laura:

They really liked how we do things.

Laura:

So we've made.

Laura:

And Alliance with them.

Laura:

And.

Laura:

As Zach is like dealing People on the station.

Laura:

You know, some of our ambassadors.

Laura:

R no, this other race.

Laura:

And he's trying to keep the peace.

Laura:

We have uh, a bit of a loss of face.

Laura:

With all these other ambassadors and he has some quippy

Laura:

conversations with like Dzhokhar.

Laura:

And.

Laura:

You know, maybe Dylan is a little disappointed.

Laura:

And.

Laura:

We just kind of have a bummer B plot where earth keeps.

Laura:

Doing questionable things.

Xhafer:

Fucking earth stopped doing that questionable

Laura:

Yeah, so we could really just slot this one in like anywhere.

Laura:

And season three,

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I mean, clearly evidenced by the episode,

Laura:

Hm.

Xhafer:

that's not what we're going to route a rate right now.

Xhafer:

We got to rate the episode.

Xhafer:

We just created.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

What do you think.

Xhafer:

Well, it's very seasoned three feeling to me.

Xhafer:

More so than the episode, we're about to review to be perfectly honest.

Laura:

Yeah, I think it's very season three.

Laura:

It's one of those where we showcase some people we don't get a lot,

Laura:

which is always a fun thing.

Xhafer:

Yeah, no, I think this would be a fun episode.

Xhafer:

I'd watch this episode.

Xhafer:

I think this is a solid three out of the five middle of the

Xhafer:

road, early season three episode.

Laura:

Yeah, it's really set in a stage.

Laura:

We get some creepy earth stuff and some creepy general stuff.

Laura:

So.

Laura:

All right.

Laura:

We did it.

Xhafer:

We did it.

Xhafer:

Plot poker.

Xhafer:

And it will be back again in a couple of weeks.

Xhafer:

But before all of that, we've got to talk about season three, episode five.

Xhafer:

Voices.

Xhafer:

Of authority.

Laura:

You put a real spin on that nice radio

Xhafer:

I'm probably, I'm just, I'm practicing my radio voice in actuality,

Xhafer:

because I was thinking about starting a fiver to doing voiceover work.

Laura:

Ah, man, that'd be fun.

Laura:

Let me know how that

Xhafer:

Yeah, well, I mean, we've got all this nice editing and all

Xhafer:

this nice sound recording equipment.

Xhafer:

So I figure I may as

Laura:

Do something with it?

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Squeeze a couple of bucks out of it.

Xhafer:

If I can.

Xhafer:

Get that Christmas money.

Laura:

good luck.

Laura:

My friend.

Xhafer:

All

Xhafer:

right.

Xhafer:

Well, we open on Zach Allen man of the people complaining about

Xhafer:

the fit on his uniform jacket.

Laura:

Very relatable.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

This comes up.

Xhafer:

Late, I think in early season four, this comes up

Laura:

Oh, does it?

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

There is a scene.

Xhafer:

I want to say it's in season four, where Zack is getting fitted for a new uniform.

Xhafer:

And all of the people who are actually fitting him for the uniform in the scene.

Xhafer:

Are at the tailoring staff of Babylon five.

Laura:

Oh,

Xhafer:

All done up as aliens.

Xhafer:

And so when he's like complaining about the fit, he's complaining about

Xhafer:

the fit on camera to the people who actually made the uniform in the first

Laura:

That's very funny.

Xhafer:

It's clutch.

Laura:

Uh, If it was me, one of the tailoring staff, I would

Laura:

have to be an alien makeup, so I wouldn't be cracking up about it.

Laura:

Wonderful.

Laura:

So yeah, he's complaining about his uniform to Garibaldi, right?

Laura:

And Garibaldi gets this call on the link that Ivanova has a code seven R and

Laura:

he has to ditch SAC, but you can see, Zach is a little bit suspicious about.

Laura:

Code seminar.

Xhafer:

What's what's that seminar?

Xhafer:

I don't know that one.

Xhafer:

Well, it's a war council meeting is what it is.

Laura:

Yeah, Erin pointed this out.

Laura:

He said, have we seen the set before?

Laura:

And I said, I don't think so.

Laura:

I think this is the new work council set,

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

It's just, it's going to get

Xhafer:

saw.

Xhafer:

Yeah, we've seen it at the end of a couple episodes.

Xhafer:

We haven't really seen a lot of it yet.

Laura:

Yeah, we get more interesting war council stuff later.

Laura:

I'm I'm fairly certain.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

So.

Laura:

At this war council meeting, Dylan is looking for the first one.

Laura:

She's you thinking that, you know, shadows are waking up, it's all

Laura:

happening faster than we wanted.

Laura:

It is time for us to consider reaching out to some of these other older races.

Laura:

That are a little bit.

Laura:

Mysterious hard to contact, possibly dangerous.

Xhafer:

Hopefully not as big as assholes as the four lines.

Laura:

Hopefully, but I'm not holding a lot of hope.

Laura:

Are you.

Xhafer:

Nope.

Laura:

especially not after this episode.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

But at the lens, all like draw like draw, Hey, Hey, draw.

Xhafer:

Like all the first ones out there.

Xhafer:

Like if there are the first ones.

Xhafer:

You'd tell us, right?

Xhafer:

Like if you knew there were other first ones, like you do the thing,

Xhafer:

like, you know, And the green machine.

Xhafer:

You're doing the green machine stuff.

Xhafer:

You're viewing all the time and space simultaneously.

Xhafer:

You don't think you got nowhere.

Xhafer:

The other first ones are That's just the way it works.

Xhafer:

I think it's in the grand machine and what it does.

Xhafer:

So you got to know, so you tell us, right?

Xhafer:

You tell us, yeah.

Xhafer:

You tell us, you totally tell us the tours you tell us who

Xhafer:

you'd have to tell us otherwise.

Xhafer:

That's the whole point in the green machine.

Xhafer:

So you tell us Rachel, right?

Xhafer:

And then draw shows

Laura:

Uh,

Xhafer:

And it's all like, oh yes, this is a great idea.

Xhafer:

I just need you to come down to the planet and do my job for me.

Laura:

Yeah, drill is Just like, why are you here?

Laura:

What are you doing?

Laura:

My friend it's because we built that set.

Laura:

We built the set.

Laura:

For the great machine we got to use it.

Xhafer:

Yeah, he just wants to hit the hit, hit a J.

Xhafer:

With cautious, number one, smoke and buddy.

Xhafer:

And ha take a trip.

Xhafer:

That's all he's

Laura:

Bring them on down.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So

Xhafer:

Sheridan agrees.

Laura:

Sheridan agrees.

Laura:

Marcus is a little.

Laura:

Nervous about this.

Laura:

It seems like.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Marcus is all like,

Xhafer:

Kinda like pitching a little bit of a bitch about this.

Xhafer:

And it's just like, this is a bad idea.

Xhafer:

In ranger training, they told us this was a bad idea.

Xhafer:

And then Dylan puts a hand on his shoulder and it's like, sweet

Xhafer:

summer child I'm ranger one.

Xhafer:

I told them to tell you this was a bad idea.

Xhafer:

We're doing it anyway.

Laura:

It's only a bad idea.

Laura:

If it's not mine.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

I don't want you doing it, but me telling you That's okay.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So they've got to go down to the planet.

Laura:

Oh, remember how that plant it had all the.

Laura:

missiles and Drell was promised not to.

Laura:

Fire anything off.

Xhafer:

Yeah, just come on down and like four hours.

Xhafer:

Give me some time to, you know, clean up.

Xhafer:

Get some snacks run to

Laura:

Make some dip.

Xhafer:

Get.

Xhafer:

Get the munchies

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

We cut back to Zack.

Laura:

Who is a greeting, a new officer from the ministry of peace.

Laura:

It's Julie.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Laura:

She is a very forceful lady and it seems to be something that Zach is into.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Uh, He totally checks out

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

he he, gets told what to

Xhafer:

He is not

Laura:

And he's into it and he's got a vibe he's he's all over it.

Laura:

I looked at it just as like, yep.

Laura:

This is a certain kind of.

Laura:

Dude.

Laura:

We see Dzhokhar

Laura:

get a scene with your car.

Laura:

. Xhafer: So we see Dzhokhar run

Laura:

all like Dylan, buddy, you got.

Laura:

I can't help, but notice you're having all of these secret meetings without me.

Laura:

That's crazy.

Laura:

You wouldn't possibly be like forming some kind of secret military Alliance.

Laura:

That would have the strength to fight off the centaurian free.

Laura:

My oppressed people would, you that'd be crazy that can't be what's happening

Laura:

because you'd invite me to those meetings.

Laura:

Right?

Laura:

Dylan.

Laura:

Those secret meetings you're having without me.

Laura:

Right.

Laura:

You're going to write.

Laura:

And Dylan is just completely poker face.

Laura:

Like, I don't know what you're talking about.

Laura:

Rangers.

Laura:

Ooh, let me dramatically turn around to immediately say nothing.

Laura:

Why would I know about that?

Laura:

D and D class?

Laura:

That's weird.

Laura:

Checar I don't play Dungeons dragons.

Laura:

You big old nerd.

Laura:

Why don't you get on something

Laura:

She keeps it very cool.

Laura:

Even when he names her organization by name.

Xhafer:

I will say the fact that he used Rangers and not

Xhafer:

like Angela shock or something.

Laura:

A true and true.

Xhafer:

It was kind of a bummer for

Laura:

Oh, yeah.

Laura:

He uses like the

Xhafer:

I think it would have been a

Laura:

name instead of, I mean, if he gave them in Bari name, I mean,

Laura:

That's a little harder to Dodge, right?

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

us, the Rangers are very general.

Xhafer:

Or if both, that's all I keep hearing AnnaLeigh shock and Rangers.

Xhafer:

It's crazy.

Xhafer:

It's like, they're the same organization.

Xhafer:

But one is human and one is men Bari.

Xhafer:

Weird.

Laura:

That would be a very hard, very hard to dip.

Laura:

So we cut from them.

Laura:

To Julie Masante meeting with Sheridan.

Laura:

And she's going through stuff.

Laura:

She's like in his office, touching his things.

Xhafer:

She is really about that reverse Marie condo life.

Xhafer:

Like his uniform needs more flare.

Xhafer:

He needs Globes of earth everywhere.

Xhafer:

You know, he should have a flag of every representative, nation of the earth.

Xhafer:

Federation in here, every single one from earth you know, just like

Xhafer:

really make it feel like it's Earth's

Laura:

Right.

Laura:

This station that we specifically built to be a home for many

Laura:

different kinds of aliens.

Laura:

Should should be very earth centric.

Xhafer:

Yeah, Julie explains what she's there for.

Xhafer:

She's been appointed by the Senate committee on Babylon five.

Xhafer:

To be his new political officer.

Xhafer:

To help him navigate the minefields that is the emerging government

Xhafer:

and thought and policy on earth.

Xhafer:

Without accidentally embarrassing earth.

Xhafer:

Again again, again.

Laura:

I was going to say at this point in the episode, She has a point.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

Sheridan has not got a great track record here.

Xhafer:

No, he does not, He's about as happy as this as Eli Lilly is with

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

She has a dinner Rezo for 6:00 PM for them at fresh which he has to

Xhafer:

cancel his plan to do edibles withdrawal and forget how to walk to the kitchen.

Xhafer:

And that's a real

Laura:

That is a real bummer.

Xhafer:

He delegates that to Ivanova.

Xhafer:

Well, Julie kind of forcefully tells Zach it's time to spill the beans on stuff.

Laura:

She invites

Xhafer:

She is.

Xhafer:

The least subtle person.

Xhafer:

I have never met.

Xhafer:

We get some real Tucker Carlson logic over dinner.

Laura:

Yeah, she's.

Laura:

She is

Laura:

Very dolled up for this conversation.

Laura:

Uh, If you, if you're awkward now, looking at these two, having dinner at a fancy

Laura:

restaurant, just wait a few minutes.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

She does some mental gymnastics.

Xhafer:

A bit looking at anyone who wanted a job could have a job.

Xhafer:

That's the earth gov promise.

Xhafer:

So anyone who doesn't have a job it's because they're insane or criminals or a

Xhafer:

lazy, there is no homelessness problem.

Xhafer:

There is no economic problem.

Xhafer:

Everyone who would have, they just don't want jobs.

Xhafer:

That's not our problem.

Xhafer:

You know, and it's just like, when did all these problems go away?

Xhafer:

And she's just like, when they rewrote the dictionary,

Laura:

So she's.

Xhafer:

To

Laura:

She is so aware of her own hypocrisy and does not care.

Laura:

Does not mind.

Laura:

It is all okay.

Laura:

In her eyes.

Xhafer:

Yeah, Anyone who disagrees is a anarchist troublemaker,

Xhafer:

or simply unpatriotic.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

That's where it seemed familiar.

Laura:

I'm uncomfortable.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Me

Laura:

Oh man.

Xhafer:

Back on Epsilon three draw gives the van over the red pill.

Xhafer:

then just fuck you Anon for ruining

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

It's just getting

Laura:

It's still a good matrix reference.

Laura:

I'm still, I'm still there.

Xhafer:

This predates the matrix.

Laura:

It does.

Laura:

Doesn't it.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

well, and that's, he doesn't say red pill, but he's all like stepping

Xhafer:

inside the matrix and stuff.

Xhafer:

And this whole thing, it's like, There was multiple references very

Xhafer:

quickly that were, it couldn't have been a mistake though.

Xhafer:

Kowalski's well, they worked with JMS on sensate, so they

Xhafer:

were probably fans actually.

Laura:

I want to, I want to believe that anyway.

Laura:

Uh, Especially, you know, this

Laura:

is this big machine.

Laura:

I a.

Laura:

Did laugh a little bit at, you know, cause I feel like our quality of the

Laura:

graphics and the visuals keeps going up in And when you look at the great machine

Laura:

again, it's like, It's a bunch of tubes.

Laura:

It's just tubes.

Laura:

And we just stick our arms in the tubes and all of a sudden

Laura:

we're in the space tubes.

Xhafer:

Yeah, Ivanova hits that Vitruvian, And goes on a trip to Sigma 9, 5, 7.

Xhafer:

Where she finds evidence of the first ones before being noticed by those

Xhafer:

shadow eyes.

Xhafer:

Super cool effect in

Xhafer:

space.

Laura:

Do you remember Sigma 9, 5, 7.

Xhafer:

Is that where Catherine Sockeye.

Laura:

It sure is.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

That she went near Sigma 9, 5 7.

Laura:

And this aliens that we.

Laura:

Are looking for these aliens they're referred to as the walkers because

Laura:

they walk near Sigma 9, 5, 7, as Jakarta said so I thought that was

Laura:

a nice little callback to somewhere we've already been, it's been a while.

Laura:

That was season one.

Laura:

But yeah, those shadow wise not

Xhafer:

Yeah, she gets away.

Xhafer:

But on her way away from the shadow's eyes, she sees Clark confirm his

Xhafer:

culpability in the SAS nation.

Xhafer:

Of president Santiago.

Laura:

it's not clear to me why we see this.

Laura:

Like what did she just take the wrong space tube?

Xhafer:

We see it.

Xhafer:

So that episode

Laura:

Uh, But yeah, she sees a transmission he's discussing.

Laura:

The how it's, how it's going to go down.

Laura:

Right.

Laura:

It hasn't happened yet.

Laura:

But he's.

Xhafer:

It's it seems like it's about to.

Laura:

There's a familiar voice.

Xhafer:

Aye.

Xhafer:

I did not recognize this voice and it was not in my seasoned guide.

Xhafer:

Who would this voice

Laura:

Really.

Xhafer:

I should, I should have checked on line.

Xhafer:

I didn't do my normal Usenet

Laura:

Man it's Mr.

Laura:

Morton.

Xhafer:

Is it Morton?

Laura:

It's gotta be.

Laura:

Go back and listen

Xhafer:

Okay.

Laura:

the close captions, just say mail number one.

Laura:

But that was.

Xhafer:

Uh, It's it's,

Laura:

It's definitely more than.

Xhafer:

Now it's confirmed.

Xhafer:

It's more than.

Laura:

You found it, the notes.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

I don't think Ivanova attracts it as Morden though.

Laura:

She, I don't know.

Laura:

Has she been introduced to Mr.

Laura:

Morton We as the audience

Laura:

know

Laura:

that.

Laura:

We can hear

Laura:

But I don't think Ivanova has met Morton.

Laura:

And so she can't put it together.

Xhafer:

A question directly asked to JMS was why didn't

Xhafer:

they recognize Morden's voice?

Xhafer:

And his answer was who's to say they didn't.

Laura:

Hm.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

So.

Laura:

I could be wrong, but I'm sitting here thinking I don't.

Laura:

And think Ivanova.

Laura:

Had met Morton.

Xhafer:

I don't think she has

Xhafer:

no.

Xhafer:

But he was in a holding cell for like two days at this point.

Xhafer:

So

Laura:

That's right.

Laura:

Cause Sheridan had him for a long time.

Xhafer:

Yeah, Sheridan and Garibaldi would 100%.

Xhafer:

Recognize that voice.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

Hm.

Laura:

So after Ivanova sees this footage of president Clark and earth force one.

Laura:

She comes unplugged from the great machine.

Xhafer:

And she's all like drawl, you got to give me some of the shit

Xhafer:

to take home and he's like, I can give you a recording of your trip.

Laura:

Right.

Laura:

He's always recording, not creepy at all.

Laura:

He's always listening and he's always recording.

Xhafer:

But he's not going to tell us where the first

Xhafer:

ones are.

Laura:

Right,

Xhafer:

Back on the station, Julie follows Sheridan to his quarters after she's been

Laura:

Oh, my God.

Xhafer:

Air quotes of hers.

Xhafer:

She totally naked,

Laura:

Yeah, he offers to make her a drink.

Laura:

She accepts the offer.

Laura:

He turns away for one second and she Completely naked.

Xhafer:

Have you seen how I met your mother?

Laura:

I've seen, I've seen most of it.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

This, this is they've an entire episode dedicated to people doing this.

Laura:

I'm going to have to go back and rewatch that just for old times.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I was just like, oh God, it's the naked

Xhafer:

man.

Xhafer:

Ivanova interrupts.

Xhafer:

Get some slut-shaming in.

Laura:

I felt.

Laura:

I was like, this is a very nineties thing to say.

Laura:

We say this in the nineties and we all had a Ha ha.

Laura:

I don't like it now.

Laura:

Ivanova, don't say

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I don't care if it's a way for you to get a star Trek,

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Right.

Xhafer:

Where everyone is gone before.

Xhafer:

Rude.

Laura:

very rude.

Laura:

And.

Laura:

She pops in with completely no context.

Laura:

I guess she knew probably we, I don't think we see her meet Julie Masante,

Laura:

but she knows Julie Missandei's around and she probably knows who she Um,

Xhafer:

Oh, yeah.

Xhafer:

So it's happening on the station?

Xhafer:

So a

Laura:

Yeah, but you just pop it on your bus and there's a naked lady there and a.

Laura:

Get in some snide remarks about You got no idea.

Laura:

What's going on, lady.

Laura:

Maybe keep your mouth.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

Very funny though.

Laura:

We get a good expression out of her.

Laura:

She's got a very expressive face.

Laura:

But yeah, Julie is a.

Laura:

Trying to trying to put the moves on Sharon and make him more.

Laura:

Malleable.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

He does the old like kiss and dip too.

Laura:

Distract her from Yvanova's presence.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

From hologram Ivanova and then it's all like, oh, is it cold in here?

Xhafer:

I'm going to go, oh, I've got to go to the bathroom.

Xhafer:

Just dodging every which

Xhafer:

way.

Laura:

Got to go turn up that thermostat.

Laura:

Oh, I think I left the tea kettle on.

Xhafer:

We're in your kitchen.

Xhafer:

This is a studio.

Laura:

Oh, yeah, she did get a thing in about how his

Laura:

quarters are larger than normal.

Laura:

And Everyone should do their part and pay their rent.

Laura:

Nice.

Laura:

Nice callback to season two.

Xhafer:

After this we cut over to Dzhokhar who gives Garibaldi

Xhafer:

shit about the secret meetings.

Xhafer:

And he's just like, look.

Xhafer:

There's nothing you can do to help us.

Xhafer:

And your car is all like bullshit.

Laura:

he's pretty resourceful.

Laura:

RJ car, even though he doesn't have a lot at his disposal, he's got what

Laura:

the, the non population on the station.

Laura:

He's got any contacts he can scramble up.

Laura:

But we've seen him.

Laura:

Be very resourceful with very little.

Xhafer:

Well, I think once he knows what these meetings are actually about.

Xhafer:

You know, that's why he gives, that's why the ending happens with,

Laura:

Oh, yes.

Laura:

And he has historical knowledge from Narcan.

Laura:

About this particular problem that they're working

Xhafer:

Yeah, so.

Xhafer:

That's how he can contribute.

Xhafer:

Anyways, our political advisor is very grumpy for someone who got

Xhafer:

naked without explicit consent.

Laura:

Yeah, she's.

Xhafer:

Not a

Laura:

Yeah, she doesn't really have a leg to stand on here, but She's

Laura:

complaining to Zach about Sheridan's impressive negotiation abilities.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

All the no-no knows since axle, like I prefer.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Creepy.

Xhafer:

Not okay.

Laura:

I mean.

Laura:

He does want to be told what to do so bad.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

she collapsed back at him with a little dig at his attire.

Laura:

Which we already know is a sensitive spot for poor Zack.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

So, Yeah.

Xhafer:

He's a total, a cab tread on me harder,

Xhafer:

daddy.

Xhafer:

Fuck.

Laura:

He's if Julie Masante was more than a one episode character, I could

Laura:

see this being a running gag with him.

Laura:

Right.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Ivana.

Xhafer:

. Ivanova and Marcus take the white star out to Sigma 9, 5 7.

Laura:

Yeah, they're going to go in person.

Laura:

And try to deliver a message.

Xhafer:

The ministry of peace lays down.

Xhafer:

It's no bad talking to president.

Xhafer:

Policy.

Xhafer:

Encouraging those who are upset at president Clark to instead cheer him

Xhafer:

with an enthusiastic let's go, Gary.

Laura:

Oh boy.

Laura:

I saw one of those today.

Laura:

This is off pod.

Xhafer:

I actually had to Google.

Xhafer:

I assumed.

Xhafer:

Let's go.

Xhafer:

Brandon was Brandon was Biden's middle name?

Laura:

Nope.

Xhafer:

is not.

Laura:

Nope.

Xhafer:

Nope.

Xhafer:

It's a NASCAR driver.

Xhafer:

I read all about where it came from to try and pick another name that would it be

Xhafer:

appropriate for William Morgan Clark and.

Laura:

Well,

Xhafer:

Gary's the actor's

Xhafer:

name?

Xhafer:

That's that's what I

Laura:

there you go.

Laura:

That's a good Yeah, they're, going real 1984, George Orwell.

Laura:

Levels.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

On.

Laura:

Any sort of speech.

Laura:

Seditious thoughts.

Laura:

Any, anything that can be happening on the station Nightwatch

Laura:

is ready to know about it.

Laura:

So she says that there's a purge coming.

Laura:

We are going to start getting rid of people in the government

Laura:

who disagree with other people.

Laura:

And Nightwatch is going to be on the front lines.

Xhafer:

Yeah, it's this fascist bullshit.

Xhafer:

They were betrayed.

Xhafer:

They're gaslighting their own citizens.

Xhafer:

And I really wished that this was a fresh take and that the last

Xhafer:

30 years were different, but they

Xhafer:

aren't.

Xhafer:

This doesn't even like, get the appeal of feeling like satire anymore.

Xhafer:

Unfortunately.

Laura:

Nope.

Laura:

And it's another reason I really want a reboot right now, you know?

Laura:

Like I really want.

Laura:

To have to grapple with this in a fresh new way.

Xhafer:

I would hope that it's not like this.

Xhafer:

I would hope that it's very because in the eye of the

Xhafer:

nineties, This was not possible.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

This was extreme.

Xhafer:

This

Xhafer:

was satire.

Xhafer:

And now you look at it and you're like, this is two steps away from.

Xhafer:

Well, diff depending on the date, if it's January 6th, that's

Xhafer:

one step away from reality.

Laura:

This is what we thought happened in other places in the nineties.

Laura:

That's that's happened to other people and you look at it from the view of like,

Laura:

oh, this was that government then, or this is, you know, And uh, I think reboot has

Laura:

to tackle it a little bit differently.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

If this was a But I don't see how you could avoid it right now.

Laura:

Anyway.

Xhafer:

Marcus has giving a vinyl for shit for not handling boredom.

Xhafer:

Well, I did not ask to be personally attacked.

Laura:

No right.

Laura:

He criticizes her pacing, like get out.

Laura:

I, when I'm on the phone with somebody.

Laura:

And like I'm occupied with talking to them.

Laura:

But not physically occupied.

Laura:

This is me.

Laura:

Like I am pacing.

Laura:

I am doing that thing.

Laura:

It's lucky that, you know, there's a microphone and headphones

Laura:

holding me here right now.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Well, if I raise, I'm doing things with

Xhafer:

my hands down here to keep occupied.

Xhafer:

Or solving Rubik's cubes.

Xhafer:

I do that a lot on work

Laura:

Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

Xhafer:

I'll sit there and solve a Rubik's cube like 10, 12 times

Laura:

You know what I got for my work desk.

Laura:

I got that kinetic sand stuff.

Laura:

Have you seen this stuff?

Laura:

My son played with it a lot when he was smaller.

Laura:

And so I have a thing of kinetic sand for me to fiddle with.

Laura:

It's very satisfying.

Laura:

Highly recommend.

Xhafer:

Anyways.

Xhafer:

Omeka appears on the bridge.

Xhafer:

To her account, the tale of Marcus's last joke about the

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Avant of explains the burgeoning Alliance and ask them to join.

Xhafer:

We cut away for Garibaldi showing Sheridan the recording.

Xhafer:

Who says he's going to get it to general Haig who can get it to the media

Laura:

Hey general Haig.

Laura:

Woo.

Xhafer:

And then Ivanova talks.

Xhafer:

Mad shit.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

I heard her talking to the Tiki head.

Laura:

Isn't going to that great.

Laura:

Like he just says Zog and they aren't really listening to her.

Laura:

And She decides to try a little reverse psychology, right?

Laura:

That's kind of what this is.

Xhafer:

A hundred percent and it works real good.

Xhafer:

She's all like it's cool.

Xhafer:

The four Alon said you guys were a joke.

Xhafer:

Anyways, carried you during the last Carry you during this one.

Xhafer:

Don't worry.

Xhafer:

We'll let you know when the fight is over so you can come back and

Xhafer:

just be safe since that's all.

Xhafer:

You're good

Xhafer:

for.

Xhafer:

A little baby, and then there's a, like, we're not babies.

Xhafer:

Hey.

Xhafer:

You bring them here.

Xhafer:

And tell us, and then we'll show up and Then all right.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

gamble.

Laura:

But a lot of us, she, she takes those big swings and she nails it every time.

Xhafer:

We cut over to security who was watching the ISN

Xhafer:

report, leaking the recording.

Xhafer:

Their official stance is to wait for the truth because eventually it always comes

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Eh,

Xhafer:

touch Garibaldi.

Xhafer:

After this, everyone leaves, but Zach who Garibaldi gives him

Xhafer:

a little hell for Nightwatch.

Xhafer:

It's like, what'd you tell her, like, what's going on?

Xhafer:

Can I trust you anymore?

Xhafer:

And Zach's like, I don't know.

Xhafer:

Do you trust me in the first place?

Laura:

What is code seven

Laura:

hour.

Xhafer:

back at them.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

He's out of the circle and it bothers him.

Xhafer:

Julie heads back to earth to help clean up the mess at the president.

Xhafer:

And then checar shows up

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

To throw the book of Shaquana at Michael Garibaldi.

Laura:

The best time to throw the book of At anyone right.

Xhafer:

Yup.

Laura:

3:00 AM.

Xhafer:

Wake me up to throw a book at me.

Laura:

Hm.

Laura:

Hm.

Xhafer:

What's that like, I was finally getting sleep for the first time in a

Xhafer:

week.

Xhafer:

As we see so often.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

Well, what'd you think of this one?

Laura:

This certainly isn't my favorite one, because we

Laura:

have so many bangers coming.

Laura:

In season three.

Laura:

If I'm looking at it in the light next to those.

Laura:

Awesome things that are coming up and, you know, we even had a really good one.

Laura:

With passing through guests enemy just recently.

Laura:

This one just doesn't hold up as well.

Laura:

For me, I'd say I'd probably put this one in the twos, like below average.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

I put it as a two out of

Xhafer:

five, mostly because I feel like this episode doesn't know what it

Laura:

Yeah, there's a lot of disjointed.

Laura:

Plots from here to

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Is this a building to the shadow ward episode?

Xhafer:

Is this a issues back home episode?

Xhafer:

Is this a comic relief?

Xhafer:

Episode, this is just place setting.

Xhafer:

Are we introducing characters to do more with them later?

Xhafer:

Like, What ha What

Xhafer:

goes

Laura:

Yeah, we're doing a lot of callbacks too.

Laura:

Like where, where are we going?

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

This felt to me like a very late season, one episode.

Laura:

for me, the, the.

Laura:

The big thing that takes me out of it.

Laura:

Especially is that.

Laura:

All of a sudden, we just see this conversation with.

Laura:

It's very de your sex Maki and that kind of thing.

Laura:

Like we got in the great machine.

Laura:

Woo.

Laura:

We got this thing.

Laura:

And.

Laura:

It is there nobody earned Really.

Laura:

It just got handed to us by the great machine, this big thing that's going to.

Laura:

Move that plot forward.

Laura:

With earth.

Laura:

And president Clark's, you trying to get justice for what

Laura:

happened to president Santiago.

Laura:

The.

Laura:

President Clark's betrayal.

Laura:

But.

Laura:

Just didn't feel very earned.

Laura:

The first ones are, are this first one in particular is kind of.

Laura:

Like it didn't seem like as much effort was put into these aliens

Laura:

is, is, could have been there just.

Laura:

You know, we saw them in season one at Sigma 9, 5 7.

Laura:

We called back to it.

Laura:

And this is the last time we're going to see them, I think until a certain point.

Xhafer:

Until we go back to Sigma 9, 5, 7.

Xhafer:

And it's just like, they're weird Tiki torch aliens.

Xhafer:

And.

Xhafer:

It's just, it's weird.

Xhafer:

And like, they're supposed to be weird because they're the first

Xhafer:

ones.

Xhafer:

They're all weird.

Xhafer:

That's the point.

Xhafer:

So, but it's just, yeah, this whole episode just feels very out of place.

Xhafer:

To me.

Xhafer:

I think you could have taken.

Xhafer:

The, to the, a plot and the B plot here and made them both be plots.

Xhafer:

Have a separate episode.

Xhafer:

Of tough to separate episodes.

Xhafer:

And it would be stronger

Laura:

Yeah, the.

Laura:

The link that ties them all together at the end is the recording.

Laura:

And the recording to me didn't feel very earned and real.

Laura:

So.

Laura:

When you tie them together by that weak link, it just didn't do much for me.

Laura:

So I think this is probably one of the weaker spots in season three.

Laura:

If I'm remembering, I haven't looked ahead too much, but I know

Laura:

there are bangers coming and the St

Xhafer:

I think once we hit episode.

Xhafer:

Eight or nine off the top of my head.

Xhafer:

The season just runs until it's done.

Xhafer:

It's done.

Xhafer:

Like it's just nonstop after that.

Laura:

I think that the, the next one we have coming up to is a pretty good one.

Laura:

If I remember correctly, what is it?

Laura:

What are we got

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

We got season three, episode six dust to dust.

Xhafer:

Uh, Cycop investigates a powerful, illegal drug on Babylon five, but

Xhafer:

Sheridan distrust, his motives.

Xhafer:

Checar makes a startling discovery about

Xhafer:

Londo.

Laura:

Both of those things sound very dramatic and anytime OSI cop

Laura:

shows up, we know who it's going to

Xhafer:

We got some, we got some guesses.

Xhafer:

This isn't a, it's a boy

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Best are coming around

Laura:

I look forward to any time that Walter Canuck is on this show.

Laura:

And.

Xhafer:

For sure.

Xhafer:

He's

Laura:

Uh, Dzhokhar Londo plot is always intriguing.

Laura:

So I have good feelings.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Well acted for

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

I have good feelings about this next episode.

Laura:

So, well, this one didn't do it for Kinda just.

Laura:

You know, an episode.

Laura:

Next one I'm really looking forward

Xhafer:

Me too.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

Well, before we get there, we gotta say, thank you.

Xhafer:

To a handful of people.

Xhafer:

Thank you.

Xhafer:

Jeremy Siegel for our lovely theme music, you can find more

Xhafer:

of his work at Jeremy Siegel.

Xhafer:

40 two.bandcamp.com.

Laura:

And thank you to angry duck time machine on Instagram for our podcast

Xhafer:

And thank you to our producer and editor.

Xhafer:

Aaron, who's been doing the job for months at this point, and I don't

Xhafer:

think we've officially thanked.

Xhafer:

At the end of an episode, which is a

Laura:

Yeah, totally, totally uncredited.

Laura:

But.

Laura:

He's so humble.

Laura:

He doesn't mind.

Xhafer:

Add podcast editor.

Xhafer:

To your resume.

Laura:

Yes, absolutely.

Laura:

And thank you to you.

Laura:

The listener for being here with us, we love sharing Babylon five with you too.

Xhafer:

We do.

Xhafer:

Go ahead and join our discord.

Xhafer:

Shoot us an email.

Xhafer:

Who are you?

Xhafer:

gmail.com.

Xhafer:

And uh, we'll see you next week,

Laura:

All right.

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About the Podcast

Who Are You?
A Babylon 5 Watchcast
Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.