Episode 139

full
Published on:

28th Aug 2024

Kung Fu and Chill - Office Space

Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers, as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.

Laura and Xhafer have made it halfway through Crusade and take a little movie break to appreciate the iconic work of Gary Cole in the Y2K classic, Office Space.

Transcript
Xhafer:

Hello and welcome to Who Are You?

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This is the Babylon 5 Watchcast

hosted by two former strangers,

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now friends, who have gotten to

know each other while watching a

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favorite show from their childhood.

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Babylon 5.

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I'm Trefer.

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Laura: I'm Laura.

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Xhafer: Am I slurring a little?

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I feel like my tongue is

running a little slow.

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Laura: It's that glass

of wine you've got there.

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Xhafer: not the first.

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Laura: There's your problem right there.

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Xhafer: It's, it's the second, but the

first was an ice wine which is higher

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proof and then I had a little port

and now I'm on some Chianti, but I

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Laura: Wow, you're just

fancy as hell today.

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Xhafer: I am clearing

bottles off of my countertop.

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Like, I'm taking open bottles that have

been sitting here for a little bit before

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they've been sitting here too long.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: So it really is, I

was a fancy bitch last week.

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Which is true, I was, for my birthday.

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I was a

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Laura: Happy birthday, by the

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Xhafer: Thank you.

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Yeah, um, so, I made fancy steaks and

drank wine and I found a bottle of cognac

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that was bottled the year I was born.

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Laura: Wow.

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Xhafer: Yes, so, I busted into that.

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I bought that, I saw that in

January and I bought it then.

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I've been sitting on it

for eight months, so.

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Laura: Hey, I learned something

interesting about the year

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I was born today in class.

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Microsoft went public as a public

company the same month that I was born.

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Xhafer: Oh, well you should

have invested that month.

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That would have been good for you.

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Laura: Mm hmm.

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Because there have been a lot

of stock splits since then.

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Xhafer: Yeah, it's uh, today is the 30

year anniversary of Google going public.

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Laura: Oh.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Xhafer: And you would have seen a 660,

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was it 6, 600 or 660 percent

return on investment.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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Laura: I believe that.

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Hey, this is a cool

segue that I didn't plan.

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Xhafer: Yeah, we're talking about stock

prices before we talk about office space.

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Laura: Those good old IT stocks.

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Xhafer: those IT stocks, I was

real excited to watch this.

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I

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think I talked, I think I

mentioned this in Vegas.

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I have not 15 years.

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Laura: Wow.

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Okay.

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Xhafer: And the last time I saw

this movie, was not an office worker

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the last time I watched this movie.

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Laura: Uh Huh.

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Xhafer: Nor was I in IT.

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So, I know what a TPS report is now.

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I haven't had to do one

because they're dead.

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We'll talk about that later.

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Laura: Yeah, I'm, I can't wait.

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Xhafer: you can.

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They're boring.

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It's terrible.

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But yeah, it's, it offered an entirely

new perspective on it and it actually came

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up organically at work earlier this week.

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Laura: Oh,

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Xhafer: else had made a reference to

the movie and I'm like, Oh, I just

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rewatched that for the first time since

I've really been working in an office.

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I haven't seen it in

over a decade, you know?

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Laura: Uh Huh.

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Xhafer: you know, some jokes were had

and we were encouraging another coworker.

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It's like, you gotta go, you really

gotta make the time to go watch it.

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Laura: Yeah, this movie, it is

amazing how many little phrases

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or jokes or things come up just

being in an office all the time.

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Really?

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Xhafer: thought a full on third of this

movie was in a different movie, too.

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I thought all, I had completely

forgotten about the entire Jennifer

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Aniston, all of the restaurant stuff,

and I thought that was all in waiting.

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Which is a Ryan Reynolds waiting, like,

waitstaff movie from a decade after this.

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That I'm guessing didn't age well.

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I haven't, I've also not

seen that in a decade.

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I'm guessing that's not good

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anymore.

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Uh, I'd be willing to

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Laura: that one.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Xhafer: maybe I'll make the time for it.

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Anyways, Office Space.

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Laura: yeah.

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Office Space.

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So, I was also really looking forward

to this movie because every time

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I've seen it, I found it hysterical.

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I wonder, Ja'far, do you think this is

a Gen X movie or a Millennials movie?

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Xhafer: I think it crosses that boundary.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: Because this movie

came out in the late 90s.

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So it, it, it came out in a time frame

where Elder Millennials such as ourselves

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would have needed a, I think, 99 you said?

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Yeah, I was, so, not to out my age

entirely, but I was not able to

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see a rated R movie at that time.

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Laura: Same.

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Yeah.

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Xhafer: So, I don't think I would

have been able to, um, you know,

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witness it firsthand, but I think

it was in the zeitgeist enough.

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Where when it hit video and, you

know, friends would watch their,

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their parents copy of it on probably

VHS, maybe DVD, um, that it kind of

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made the rounds a year later or so

whenever the video release was, I don't

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think I watched it like, I probably

watched it in high school sometime.

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I probably 16.

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Laura: I think it was college for me.

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And, you know, we aren't old

enough to have actually worked,

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like, with these computers.

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Like, We've done wage work, like

maybe we did some school stuff with

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these computers in this sort of

environment, but we weren't workers.

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We weren't living the office space

life, and yet I know enough about

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it that I find it hysterical.

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Xhafer: Yes.

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actually, I've, some, some recent

events in my life, in my current

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workplace, my VP was a Y2K programmer.

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Laura: Oh, okay.

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Xhafer: And he, like, hearing

him talk about, like, the dredges

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of code and everything, and

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Laura: Huh.

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Xhafer: it's, it's Not quite on

the level of hearing my grandpa's

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World War II stories, but

they're spoken in the same voice.

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Laura: Uh Huh.

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Xhafer: You know, obviously they're

very different experiences, but

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they, they, they resonate the same.

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It, in an interesting way to me.

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Laura: Yeah.

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We're going to speak the same

way probably about COVID times.

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Xhafer: I'm sure.

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Yeah.

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Laura: And we remember, like, Y2K.

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We remember the whole

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Xhafer: Y2K sticker on my laptop right

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: Cause I thought, I saw

one for sale and I thought it

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was the funniest fucking thing.

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So my, my like, Microsoft Surface Clearly

Modern Laptop has a Best Buy Don't Forget

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to Turn Your Computer Off at Midnight to

Prevent the Apocalypse kind of sticker.

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Laura: Uh Huh.

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Xhafer: Like, came on every 1998.

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Laura: Yeah.

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It's, it's one of those things, like,

we weren't old enough to experience

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any of the consequences or hullabaloo

around it, but we heard all about it.

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Xhafer: Yeah, well, I mean, people thought

it was gonna be the end of the world.

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They thought the nukes were gonna go off.

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Um, which would be weird, because

that would imply that you had,

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like, an auto launch for, like,

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Laura: Right?

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Xhafer: Oh, by the way, if it's

ever:

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Laura: Right.

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That's absolutely bonkers.

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Xhafer: Like, just having a basic idea

of how technology works now, some of

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the concerns people had are absolutely

mind boggling to me, because a lot

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of stuff would have still worked,

because the computer doesn't care

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that it's 1900 most of the time.

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Laura: Right.

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The computer has no feelings.

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The computer's not like, oh no,

there's no cars anymore or something.

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Computer doesn't care.

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Xhafer: I mean, what would

have been messy is any kind of

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transactional based system of accrual.

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Like, banks totally

would have gotten fucked.

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Like, banks were the thing to worry about.

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Because if banks had a bunch of stuff

in their software for like, okay,

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well, this is a pre planned transaction

and it posts this day, that type of

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software, the type of software that

handles that when it thinks it's

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1900 is going to empty your account.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: none of the transactions

will have posted yet.

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I mean, it's a simple fix,

but it's still a problem.

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Laura: Yeah.

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As uh, I've, been hearing about some

of these FinTech apps, there's one

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that recently, like, I don't know

exactly the Yotta, if you Google it.

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And they basically had something go wrong

with one of their systems, and they're not

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sure what banks everybody's money is at.

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Xhafer: Oh, good.

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Laura: Yeah, yeah, it's pretty crazy.

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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Laura: So, watch your fintechs.

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Xhafer: All right.

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Well, we should probably Oh, no, no, no.

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I had no segue.

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You had a segue.

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Take it.

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Laura: speaking of watching your techs,

maybe we should also watch our Initechs.

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Xhafer: Yeah, I Oh, shit.

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I bought an Inateck mug for this

recording, and then I forgot about

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it because I've been drinking wine.

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Laura: yeah, go pour your

wine into the Initech mug.

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I need to see it.

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Xhafer: I've been taking

it to work, actually.

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Laura: Uh Huh.

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Xhafer: I've had three people comment

on it, and all of them thought it

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was hilarious, and I think anyone

who would be upset about it isn't

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gonna get the reference, so.

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Laura: Exactly,

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Xhafer: Okay, hold on, I bought

that, I'm gonna go grab that mug real

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Laura: Yeah, sure.

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Do do do do do do do do do do do do do

do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

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Xhafer: It's like the

exact Bill Lumberg mug.

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Laura: Uh Huh.

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Yeah.

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You doing your best Lumberg face?

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Xhafer: Mm hmm.

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Laura: Hey, speaking of Lumberg, so

obviously that's Gary Cole, right?

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That's our guy.

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That's our Gideon.

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Um, so if this was filmed, or

if it was released in:

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what's our Crusade dates again?

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Xhafer: 99.

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So this would have been

right around the same time.

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Laura: Mm hmm.

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Xhafer: didn't find anything that

told me the explicit order, but

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I also didn't search that hard.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: I gave it a very cursory like,

oh, I wonder how the, oh, no, it wasn't

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like he had to like leave filming

crusade to make this movie or something.

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Laura: Right.

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Right.

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Right.

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Xhafer: I did read some stuff

about auditioning for this movie.

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Laura: Oh yeah, tell me.

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Xhafer: Um, well, I mean, one,

that there are like a billion

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famous people in this movie.

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Laura: There's a lot

of faces I recognized.

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I can't say I got everybody's names, but.

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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This was, this was a big

movie for a lot of people.

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Um, and the actor who plays Milton,

um, I'm, I'm pausing for Ben to

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scream his name at me right now.

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Laura: Hmm.

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Xhafer: believe I remember reading that

he had originally auditioned for Lumberg.

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And then he read for Milton and he

brought such a uniqueness to the

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character that they just basically

let him run with it entirely.

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Laura: Uh Huh.

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I mean, he's perfect.

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I cannot picture Milton any other way.

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I guess Milton is based on a cartoon?

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Xhafer: That makes sense, because this is

from the guy who did Beavis and Butthead.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: And

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Laura: I noticed that too.

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Xhafer: but that was during slash after.

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yeah.

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So yeah, Gary Cole came in and

auditioned and they loved him for it.

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Uh, he is very funny in this role.

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Laura: He is hysterical and he looks

so different from Captain Gideon.

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Xhafer: They shoehorned Jennifer

Aniston because they wanted someone

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with a name attached to this picture.

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Laura: she seems like

she's having a lot of fun.

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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Laura: I sure hope anyway.

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Xhafer: So, this movie.

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We open on a traffic jam.

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This is exactly leave for work at 6.

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45 in the morning.

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Yeah.

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Laura: those vibes here now

that I'm a real commuter.

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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I can leave at 6.

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45 and be at work at 7.

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05.

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Or I can leave at 7 and be at work at 7.

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45.

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Those are my options.

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And it's just like, anytime

in that gap, it's a crapshoot.

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So, I get it, but I just uh, I

don't know, I feel, I feel a certain

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kinship with the changing lanes and

then the other lanes going, but you

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have to, you can't be that driver.

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You have to commit to a lane and

stick in that lane and just trust

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that it's going to get you there.

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Laura: It's gonna make it worse.

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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But can we just have a moment of

silence, a moment of respect for everyone

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who had to commute before podcasts?

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Can you

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Laura: right?

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Xhafer: I mean, I did.

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I'm sure you did too.

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You had drives for work before

podcasts were a thing, really.

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Laura: Yeah,

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Xhafer: very least before it was

easy to listen to them in a car.

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Laura: I know, I was not a radio person.

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I did not like any of the radio stuff

and a lot of it was the commercials.

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Didn't like that.

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So I would just play like the same

CD over and over and over again.

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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I had a commute to high school.

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Like I had, my high school was like

eight miles away from where I lived.

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It was like a good 20, 25 minute drive.

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Laura: Yeah, mine was

about 25 on the highway.

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Xhafer: which I feel bitter about

because there are two high schools

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closer to where I grew up than the

high school I got to go to because

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we lived on the edge of the district.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: There was a high school

a mile and a half away that

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I was not eligible to attend.

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Uh,

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Laura: Oklahoma problems in that

there were two high schools in the

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county and the one that was close

to me, Was not good and had like

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20 students in their graduating

class and like no extracurriculars.

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So

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Xhafer: my, my graduating

class had like:

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Laura: Yeah, no, mine was less than 300

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Xhafer: Wow.

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It's always, I don't know, like, I

have had people, like, I've, I've,

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I have run into people from high

school, although it would be more

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appropriate to say people from high

school have run into me, I just did not.

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And I always feel terrible about it, um,

but the first thing I did when I got to

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college was try and drink high school

away, and I did a very good job of that.

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So,

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it's just, it's sorry everyone.

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Laura: I I didn't do that and when

I went home for my 10 year reunion I

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was like people were like, hi Laura.

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How are you?

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And I was like God, I

don't remember your name

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Xhafer: This is why you put name tags on.

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That's what every I've

never been to a reunion.

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My high school hasn't had one.

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My graduating class never had.

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I should have had my 20

year reunion this year.

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Laura: Wow

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Xhafer: And nothing.

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Laura: mine is coming up.

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Xhafer: Or maybe they just

didn't invite me, which, fair.

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Laura: Anyway, we were

going to talk about a movie.

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Xhafer: yeah, we're

talking about office space.

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We're going to go on a bunch of tangents.

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That's just, It's just,

we're just catching up.

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This is the first, we haven't

recorded since we were in Vegas.

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Laura: Yeah, that's right, because

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I've recorded with the

cool girls, but not you.

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Xhafer: Cause you had your other

stuff, you had your trip to DC, um,

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and all kinds of other things going on.

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So it's just been, we haven't

been able to make it happen.

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All of our runway we built.

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Gone.

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Laura: In the blink of an eye.

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Xhafer: People are talking about

this episode and looking forward

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to it in the Discord today.

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And I'm just all like, oh god,

we haven't even recorded it yet.

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But,

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Laura: Hey, you tried.

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You tried to bump it up yesterday,

but I was not in the space.

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Xhafer: It's fine.

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It's fine.

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Michael is listening

to some Scarface here.

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That's the, that's the, rap.

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know.

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This is actually very appropriate

because they are in Texas.

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This takes place in Texas.

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Laura: Oh, does it?

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Okay, I didn't catch that.

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Xhafer: Scarface is a local

rapper from the Austin area.

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So it is early southern, it is,

so there's like a couple different

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schools of southern rap and this,

this is the earliest of one of them.

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So that's cool.

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I can appreciate that.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Michael Bolton looks

super cool doing this.

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Yeah.

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Xhafer: I'm not an angry person.

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I don't find anger does

me much good in the world.

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But when I'm driving, it's so easy

to just get flippant at someone

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being, just disregarding theirs and

others safety while you're driving

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a two ton machine that can go five

times faster than any human can run.

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Laura: Yeah.

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I try to limit myself to just the

words and not make any gestures

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considering the state of the world today.

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Xhafer: I haven't thrown anything.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Xhafer: That's, that's

about all I can say.

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Laura: No, yesterday on uh, Getting

off of I 40, I saw someone legit

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come halfway out of their window

to yell at the car next to them.

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So, like,

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yeah, ah,

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Xhafer: half like, like,

wear out on my torso, like.

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Laura: down, down, down, pretty

much to your waist, yeah,

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like,

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Xhafer: that's, that's impressive.

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That's a level of limber I aspire to.

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I could not do that in my car.

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That would be painful for me.

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Laura: Yeah, no, no level of anger could

actually propel me to those motions.

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I'd

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Xhafer: like up to here and

just be all like, ow, my back!

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Laura: be like, never mind!

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Xhafer: I'm still mad though!

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Laura: Yeah,

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so we've, we've, been introduced

to Peter and Samir and Michael

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Bolton, our kind of three amigos

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Xhafer: Yeah.

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Did you catch Lumberg has that

custom plate on his Porsche?

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Letting everyone know

that it's His Porsche.

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Laura: I found a Porsche for this man a

little bit unbelievable, but I don't know.

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Xhafer: He is a VP, as we

see on his reserved parking.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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He just doesn't have the wardrobe for

VP to me, but this is the nineties.

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So fair enough.

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Xhafer: Peter reluctantly

enters the building.

409

:

And uh, working in an office before noise

canceling headphones must have been hell.

410

:

Laura: Oh my gosh, yes.

411

:

So much ambient, like, cubicle crap,

and the, the soundtrack of Accounts

412

:

Payable, whatever her name is,

413

:

speaking.

414

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

415

:

Yes, her job is about to be

replaced by a call directory.

416

:

Laura: Mm

417

:

Xhafer: as it stands, I have

this actually same exact pair.

418

:

I have a second pair of these exact

headphones at work, and these are

419

:

nice noise canceling headphones, and I

still hear people around me on meetings

420

:

all the fucking time, and I hate it.

421

:

So.

422

:

It's like someone whose job is,

like, getting deep into spreadsheets

423

:

and writing code and stuff.

424

:

Laura: Uh Huh.

425

:

Xhafer: Just hearing ambient noise like

that while I'm trying to write giant

426

:

Excel formulas or whatever I have to do

at this particular moment is just, ugh.

427

:

Mm

428

:

Laura: from sole office to now sharing

a one room with six other PhD students.

429

:

I'm doing a lot of the white

noise, like Thunderstorm was today.

430

:

I've had Coffee Shop on, just

something where I don't have

431

:

to hear people around me.

432

:

Xhafer: Default to, like,

ambient galaxy static.

433

:

Like, astral sounds.

434

:

Laura: huh.

435

:

Xhafer: I don't know if that's just

because it's not even like it's

436

:

in Star Trek, but I, I, I will a

hundred percent blame Star Trek and

437

:

their use of like ambient warp drive

438

:

Laura: Yeah.

439

:

That's an option on one of my, on my app.

440

:

It's a spaceship engine room.

441

:

It's the warp drive.

442

:

It's the warp core.

443

:

Xhafer: Nice.

444

:

Yeah.

445

:

Laura: warp core sounds.

446

:

Xhafer: So people are coming up here to

Peter talking about TPS cover sheets.

447

:

They're so important.

448

:

They're, they're actually, the

cover sheets are actually more

449

:

important than the report itself.

450

:

Laura: Apparently, because

we have, what, three people?

451

:

At

452

:

least.

453

:

Do tell

454

:

Xhafer: TPS reports, these

fuckers, these fuckers are dead.

455

:

Um, for the most part, this is a

test procedure specification report.

456

:

Um, so this is in

software development and.

457

:

This did, you use these one of two ways.

458

:

You either would go through and use

it to detail how you tested code

459

:

to make sure that it runs properly.

460

:

So everything you tried to do to break

it, or this was a request form for a

461

:

computer to test your code on, because it

used to be, you would code on a computer

462

:

and then you would need a second computer

to run it on because if your code killed

463

:

the computer, you would lose everything.

464

:

Laura: Oh, that sounds like a design flaw.

465

:

Xhafer: Well, back before,

you know, electronic mail was

466

:

even around this was an issue.

467

:

You didn't have virtualization.

468

:

Nowadays, I'm literally

on my laptop right now.

469

:

I started, I volunteered to join a dev

project for a fan thing for Star Wars

470

:

Unlimited, the card game that I play.

471

:

I have five different computers

running on my laptop right now.

472

:

Laura: Nice.

473

:

Xhafer: Doing stuff for

that test environment.

474

:

Um, and that's just my personal test

environment that only lives on my laptop.

475

:

All of the other devs have at least

one, if not multiple of those set up.

476

:

Laura: Yeah.

477

:

That makes sense.

478

:

Xhafer: And you can just do that now.

479

:

It's literally, I clicked like six

buttons and I spun up the four different

480

:

parts of the computer system, like the

SQL server that feeds the database,

481

:

all the web server, all that stuff.

482

:

All in, in minutes, instead of having

all separate computers that if any

483

:

of them died, the entire thing fails.

484

:

So TPS reports.

485

:

Fucking dead.

486

:

Rest in piss.

487

:

Laura: I love how much

paper is everywhere.

488

:

Like we've got computers, but we still

need to print all this stuff off.

489

:

I remember those days, sort of.

490

:

Xhafer: When I worked

at GM it was like that.

491

:

And that was seven years ago.

492

:

Laura: Yeah.

493

:

Xhafer: Everything I did on the

computer had to be printed and filed.

494

:

Laura: Yeah.

495

:

Mm hmm.

496

:

The bank had a little bit of

that, but I tried to pull some of

497

:

that stuff away when I started.

498

:

There was some of it I never got people to

let go of, but you do what you can, right?

499

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

500

:

Memos get delivered by hand by

someone's job who is about to be

501

:

replaced by that aforementioned email.

502

:

Laura: Lots of jobs about

to go away in this movie.

503

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

504

:

They go to Tchotchkes for

lunch at like 10am on Monday.

505

:

They

506

:

wonder if they're still

going to be doing this at 50.

507

:

And I can say yes, the IBM AS400s

that we see them programming for

508

:

in the background are all still

up and running all over the world.

509

:

Laura: Yeah.

510

:

Yeah.

511

:

I believe it.

512

:

Mm hmm.

513

:

Xhafer: But two of their jobs are

probably replaced by GitHub by now.

514

:

Laura: Sure.

515

:

Yeah.

516

:

Xhafer: Uh, And we see Jennifer Aniston.

517

:

We get an eating disorder

joke, which is still not funny.

518

:

Laura: Yeah.

519

:

There's always one or two

in these movies, right?

520

:

Of bad looks that we've since reassessed.

521

:

Xhafer: Gotta have a little A little

something to be disappointed in to remind

522

:

us that this takes place in the past.

523

:

Otherwise, have we even

grown as a society?

524

:

Laura: Right.

525

:

I was wondering if this movie, like, if I

feel about this movie the way that boomers

526

:

feel about Animal House you know, cause

that's one of the movies you hear all the

527

:

time, they're like, oh, I love that movie.

528

:

I was

529

:

like, man,

530

:

do I

531

:

Xhafer: it was one of my dad's favorites.

532

:

100%.

533

:

Laura: Like,

534

:

Xhafer: hmm.

535

:

Mm hmm.

536

:

When was the last time

you watched Animal House?

537

:

Laura: I've only watched it once, and

I was floored at how not good it was.

538

:

It's like,

539

:

this?

540

:

Xhafer: I kind of wonder if as I get

older I might give a fuck less about it.

541

:

I, I don't know.

542

:

It's just like, it's not funny now.

543

:

And so like my brain's just all like,

okay, well, I was supposed to get

544

:

more conservative as I get older.

545

:

What if instead of that, I just grow to

appreciate animal house for some reason.

546

:

Is that worse?

547

:

Laura: I don't think

you're in danger there.

548

:

I wonder if my son is gonna feel

the way about this movie that

549

:

we're feeling about Animal House.

550

:

If he's gonna be

551

:

Xhafer: There'll be the

eating disorder joke.

552

:

Can y'all Throw down his 4D cell phone

and take off his virtual reality goggles.

553

:

Be real upset about it in 30 years.

554

:

However, they're doing TV then.

555

:

We head back to the office as

Tom, a project manager, gets

556

:

some memos about downsizing.

557

:

Laura: Oh yeah, this is our Richard Reel.

558

:

That guy about town.

559

:

Xhafer: Yep.

560

:

Some things never change.

561

:

This didn't hit me

personally for any reason.

562

:

head home, and we meet Lawrence.

563

:

Who is

564

:

Laura: is the best, though.

565

:

Mm

566

:

Xhafer: Hilarious.

567

:

Uh, unhinged 90's line cook energy.

568

:

Is uh, was Beth's term

100 percent correct?

569

:

Laura: Yeah, the mustache, the

mullet, like, it's all there.

570

:

It's, it's real good.

571

:

I love that Lawrence can hear

everything through his wall and

572

:

is just super chill about it.

573

:

Xhafer: super thin apartment walls.

574

:

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

575

:

Invites himself over whenever, like,

I would love having a roommate like

576

:

there, I guess he's not a roommate.

577

:

I would love having a neighbor like this.

578

:

I'd be like, all right, let's chill.

579

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

580

:

I mean, that's what it was.

581

:

I used to live two blocks

from Ben and Glory Ann.

582

:

Laura: Yeah.

583

:

Xhafer: And it

584

:

Laura: That'd be fun, Hangs.

585

:

Xhafer: It was fun hangs.

586

:

It was great.

587

:

It was all like, oh shit, I

need to go do a thing, can you

588

:

come watch Henry for a minute?

589

:

Oh shit I'm gonna be late at this

thing, can you go let Puff outside?

590

:

Like, besides the utility of it,

just like, having such a casual layer

591

:

of access to your best friends was

enormously enriching in my life.

592

:

Laura: that's the dream.

593

:

Xhafer: It was great.

594

:

Laura: Lawrence doesn't think that Peter's

working out with his girlfriend, Anne.

595

:

That's kind of a, a catalyst

for a lot of this movie.

596

:

Xhafer: Yeah, um, Anne's

probably cheating on him.

597

:

It's come up twice already

598

:

Laura: It's everyone's opinion.

599

:

Yeah.

600

:

Xhafer: it's like, I think

she's cheating on you, dude.

601

:

To the point where it's

like, how does everyone know?

602

:

Like,

603

:

Laura: Uh Huh.

604

:

Xhafer: I, I, if she was around for

another five minutes of this movie,

605

:

I might have more questions about her

interactions with literally anybody else.

606

:

I don't know.

607

:

Laura: Sure,

608

:

Xhafer: But we don't get to see those.

609

:

Laura: No, it's almost

more fun as a mystery.

610

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

611

:

Laura: But yeah, she's pestering Peter

to go to hypnotherapy for some reason.

612

:

I don't know how that's supposed to

help them work on their problems, but

613

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

614

:

She's really into it

though, but uh, We'll see.

615

:

Another question that's come up is, What

would you do if you had a million dollars?

616

:

Lawrence, with the iconic answer,

Two chicks at the same time.

617

:

The man

618

:

knows what he wants.

619

:

Laura: Mm hmm.

620

:

He's a simple man.

621

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

622

:

Laura: Isn't that everyone's dream?

623

:

That's

624

:

Xhafer: all like, he's all like, I think

like you could probably like, he's all

625

:

like, no, looking at me, like the only

chicks who are going to sleep with me

626

:

are going to be interested in my money.

627

:

So I'm going to need the million dollars.

628

:

And it's just all like, well, that's

disparaging, but self aware, I suppose.

629

:

Laura: I need to know now

how much a million dollars

630

:

in 1999 would be worth today.

631

:

And, friends, it is 1.

632

:

8 million dollars.

633

:

So, yeah, I'm pretty sure with almost

two million dollars you can probably

634

:

get two chicks at the same time, right?

635

:

Yeah.

636

:

Xhafer: I don't know this for certain.

637

:

is, this is me guessing.

638

:

But there are places in the United

States where prostitution is legal.

639

:

Laura: sex work is work, yeah.

640

:

Xhafer: And I don't know how

much it would cost, but I have

641

:

to imagine it's less than 1.

642

:

8 million dollars.

643

:

Laura: Yeah,

644

:

Xhafer: That seems

prohibitively expensive.

645

:

Yeah,

646

:

Laura: figure it out, I

have faith in that mustache.

647

:

Xhafer: Hypnotherapy, we

get introduced to Bob first.

648

:

Laura: Oh, we do, the bobs?

649

:

Xhafer: We get Bob one, and

then we get Bob two later.

650

:

Laura: Okay.

651

:

Okay.

652

:

Xhafer: Yes, we intro Bob,

the consultant, this McKinley

653

:

motherfucker, this Deloitte do little.

654

:

Well, I have some feelings

about consultants.

655

:

Laura: Oh, was that

part of your experience?

656

:

Xhafer: No,

657

:

Laura: Oh, okay.

658

:

Okay.

659

:

Xhafer: No, my effective brother

in law worked in consulting.

660

:

and so I've heard stories from him

about the industry and just also,

661

:

like, the kinds of things that go down.

662

:

And I've just, I've been around

enough people who have worked

663

:

or experienced it to just have a

very visceral Kind of reaction.

664

:

You know, actually kind of was part

of my experience, not directly, but

665

:

the people that became in charge

of senior leadership were all these

666

:

type of people from these places.

667

:

Laura: Yeah.

668

:

Yeah.

669

:

I recently heard about somebody becoming a

consultant, like, straight out of college.

670

:

And I was like, how does,

how does that happen?

671

:

Cause I, I always thought like

for consulting, you needed

672

:

to have like an experience.

673

:

Xhafer: you don't,

674

:

Laura: Apparently not.

675

:

Xhafer: is uh, you, you need, you need to

be able to make PowerPoint presentations

676

:

when you're a consultant, that's

677

:

Laura: Yeah, apparently.

678

:

Xhafer: that convince people to fire

people so that they can have more money.

679

:

Laura: Yeah.

680

:

And that's the, that's the

like implication here when

681

:

we meet the first Bob.

682

:

I gotta say, like, with just general

Lumberg here at the beginning of the

683

:

movie, I was having real, like, I

was up in my feelings because I was

684

:

like, this is kinda how I felt like I

was as I was heading out of the bank.

685

:

Like my last couple of years, I

didn't feel good about my job anymore.

686

:

I felt like I was kind of a Lumberg.

687

:

Xhafer: I'm sure you are not a Lumberg.

688

:

Laura: Yeah, I'm sure the

perception was different, right?

689

:

But internally I felt like

not the same person anymore.

690

:

Xhafer: No, no, no.

691

:

I, this is very easy to disprove, Laura.

692

:

Lumberg is solely self motivated

693

:

Laura: Mm, okay.

694

:

Xhafer: and does not give a shit

about anyone who reports to him.

695

:

Laura: Yeah, yeah, I still

had my give a shit, I think.

696

:

Xhafer: Yeah, you could not give a

shit about the company and give a

697

:

shit about the people who work there.

698

:

And you might feel like you're just

pushing paper because you are because

699

:

you don't give a shit about the company.

700

:

But as a manager, it's not your

job to give a sh I mean, depending

701

:

on your level of management.

702

:

It's, it's executives job to

give a shit about the company.

703

:

It's like if you're a frontline

manager, your job is to keep the

704

:

people that work for you invested

and keep the wheels moving.

705

:

Much more so than anything else.

706

:

Laura: Yeah, yeah, sometimes that

gets real hard, like after COVID.

707

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

708

:

Laura: so I guess I'm, I'm not a

Lumberg now, I'm a student again.

709

:

So, here we go.

710

:

Xhafer: We go over to Milton real quick

who's on his fourth desk move of the year.

711

:

he's going to burn the place down if they

take a staple or he avows at this point.

712

:

Yeah,

713

:

Laura: That was my indulgence for

myself when I was an accounting

714

:

staff and I had the power of

placing orders from Office Depot.

715

:

I ordered myself a Milton stapler.

716

:

Xhafer: I read swing line.

717

:

Do you think this movie

kept them in business?

718

:

Laura: There had to have been,

like, a bump from this movie, right?

719

:

Xhafer: Probably not even directly

after this movie, but a very slow

720

:

creep over the next ten years.

721

:

Um, I mean, when I bought this

722

:

Laura: stream of red

723

:

Xhafer: the, Oh, do you want to

purchase a Red Swingline stapler

724

:

with this mug that you're purchasing?

725

:

They know.

726

:

Bezos knows.

727

:

Laura: Yeah, there's synergy there.

728

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

729

:

Peter tries to get out early here

in what feels like a recreation

730

:

of a scene from The Matrix.

731

:

But is asked to come

in Saturday and Sunday.

732

:

Laura: Just, I guess this is

a thing that happens, right?

733

:

Happened mostly, but

734

:

Xhafer: I mean, I've had to work a

weekend since I started my new job.

735

:

But that was also with the expectation

of getting an extra day off later.

736

:

Laura: Did you have to do it in the

office or did you do it from home?

737

:

Xhafer: Oh, I did it from home.

738

:

And it was, it was only a couple

hours, it wasn't a full day.

739

:

Um, but also like, that's

the nature of my dev work.

740

:

Like, the things that I was doing were

not things that required, no one would

741

:

have been at the office if I had gone in.

742

:

Laura: Yeah.

743

:

Xhafer: It was, it was, my team

had a code push to make deadline.

744

:

Like,

745

:

Laura: It would be absolutely bonkers

to me today for people to be like, you

746

:

need to come in the office on Saturday.

747

:

Like, okay, I could see we're having

a deadline and we need to do work

748

:

on Saturday, but no one should be

having to be in an office anymore.

749

:

Xhafer: for sure.

750

:

Laura: huh.

751

:

Xhafer: Hypnotherapist on Friday night.

752

:

Peter says some of the most depressing

shit I and this therapist have ever heard.

753

:

Every day is successively

the worst day of his life.

754

:

It's just a little bit

worse every single day.

755

:

This is a TikTok meme just went

around that was this, like, guy who

756

:

gets jobbed from the devil being

a torturer because he uses, like,

757

:

a wish to put this upon his enemy.

758

:

Can't be great.

759

:

Laura: is uh, group hypnotherapy, too.

760

:

So he gets to say this in

front of, like, strangers.

761

:

And poor Ann, actually, like, every

day of his life is the worst day.

762

:

How does that make you feel as a partner?

763

:

Yeah.

764

:

Yeah.

765

:

I

766

:

Xhafer: to be hypnotized so he just thinks

he's fishing instead of him being at work.

767

:

Laura: mean, that's a hobby people have.

768

:

Xhafer: Yeah, the hypnotherapist submerges

Peter in his own psyche and just as

769

:

he finishes dies of a heart attack.

770

:

Laura: Yeah, the most

dramatic heart attack.

771

:

Like, he is sweating, he is visibly

uncomfortable, and no one says anything.

772

:

Xhafer: Starts reaching for his chest.

773

:

Yeah.

774

:

Yep, he's just uh, the

hypnotherapist dies in front of him.

775

:

Not a care to be had in the world for

776

:

Laura: Yeah, Peter is bliss out.

777

:

Xhafer: He sleeps through the day.

778

:

Lumberg left 17 messages on his machine.

779

:

Anne calls him to break up with

him for being hypnotized and also

780

:

confirming everyone's suspicion

that she's been cheating on him.

781

:

What a shitty thing to say in spite.

782

:

Like, how terrible of a fucking person.

783

:

Do you have to be to be, I'm breaking

up with you because you embarrassed

784

:

me, also I've been cheating on you.

785

:

Laura: Yeah, and you embarrassed me

for a thing that I pushed you into.

786

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

787

:

Wasn't even a thing you wanted to

do, and I was well aware of that.

788

:

And also, you were hypnotized.

789

:

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

790

:

Good thing Peter doesn't give a shit.

791

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

792

:

It's Monday and Peter

still hasn't gone to work.

793

:

Fuck em.

794

:

Instead goes to tchotchkes to

flirt with Jennifer Aniston.

795

:

No bits on tips.

796

:

Laura: Yeah, no bets on tips.

797

:

I'm, I'm still dubious, even

though it works out in this movie,

798

:

on asking a waitress out at all.

799

:

Xhafer: Yeah, I mean, there

is a, be it a minor, still an

800

:

existing power dynamic there.

801

:

It's shitty.

802

:

Laura: Mm hmm.

803

:

Xhafer: Like, your livelihood

depends on tips as a waiter

804

:

or waitress in this country.

805

:

Depending on where you

live and where you work.

806

:

There's been some places that have

been changing that, but Knowing that

807

:

that's your primary form of income?

808

:

Yeah, that's

809

:

That sucks.

810

:

Laura: I don't know in the times that I

waitressed that I would have ever been

811

:

comfortable, no matter how attractive

the person might have been, if they

812

:

were asking me out while I was at work.

813

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

814

:

Laura: Yeah.

815

:

Yeah.

816

:

So we find out that she's

got those pieces of flair.

817

:

Xhafer: Mmhmm.

818

:

Laura: Pieces of flair.

819

:

This is iconic as well.

820

:

One of

821

:

Xhafer: I also thought

this was from waiting.

822

:

Laura: Nope.

823

:

Nope.

824

:

Nope.

825

:

this is an allusion to TGI

Fridays at one time, right?

826

:

Xhafer: I would imagine so.

827

:

I think I've ate at a TGA

Fridays at some point in my life.

828

:

I'm sure I have.

829

:

Given the amount of traveling and small

towns I've been trapped in for a week,

830

:

I'm sure I've ate at a TGA Fridays.

831

:

If I was ever presented with a

road that had a TGA Fridays and an

832

:

Applebee's, I would pick the TGA Fridays.

833

:

Laura: yeah, as you should.

834

:

Xhafer: Yeah

835

:

Laura: are they still around?

836

:

Maybe in some iteration?

837

:

I don't

838

:

Xhafer: didn't didn't

Red Lobster just go out?

839

:

Laura: Yeah, they just went bankrupt.

840

:

They're gone.

841

:

They,

842

:

Xhafer: can't the fucking Olive Garden go?

843

:

That place is actual trash.

844

:

Laura: Flav is trying to save Red Lobster,

apparently, according to the internet, so

845

:

Xhafer: Cool, he failed with his

chicken franchise, so maybe buying

846

:

Red Lobster will turn out differently?

847

:

Laura: Maybe.

848

:

Xhafer: I just don't know why you'd look

to someone with a failed business and

849

:

think we should give them another chance.

850

:

You know, like, if someone failed

with, like, I don't know, what's

851

:

a surefire business, casinos?

852

:

And, you know, like, real estate?

853

:

And managed to fuck that

up a bunch, multiple times?

854

:

You know, maybe even at, like,

a university or something?

855

:

And then you're all like, well,

You're good at business though, right?

856

:

We should give you a TV show

or maybe some kind of platform.

857

:

I don't know.

858

:

I just don't understand it.

859

:

Laura: I mean, Flava Flav had two

successful seasons of his dating show,

860

:

so that's probably his qualifications

861

:

Xhafer: yes.

862

:

The Flavor of Love.

863

:

Laura: hmm.

864

:

Did you ever watch The Flavor of Love?

865

:

Xhafer: No.

866

:

Laura: I watched one season in college,

and it didn't make me any smarter.

867

:

It's been 50 minutes, Ja'far, and we

are like 20 minutes in this movie.

868

:

Xhafer: Look, I've got

five pages of notes left.

869

:

Laura: We did Army of Darkness

in 30 minutes and on office

870

:

space we cannot shut up.

871

:

Xhafer: So Tom is trying to defend

his job but failing under pressure.

872

:

He's right, engineers

are not people persons.

873

:

That's not what he should

be defending his job for.

874

:

He should be talking about

managing customer expectations

875

:

to save money on development or

upselling features to revenue.

876

:

That's what he should be talking about,

but he's not doing those things and

877

:

he's going to lose his job for it.

878

:

P.

879

:

S.

880

:

Discord, if you ever need

help with a resume, holler.

881

:

I'm good at that shit.

882

:

Laura: mm.

883

:

Good to know.

884

:

Xhafer: You can make any job sound great.

885

:

I

886

:

promise.

887

:

It is all about framing that

888

:

Laura: Exactly.

889

:

Yeah.

890

:

Presentation.

891

:

Style is everything.

892

:

Xhafer: Michael Bolton has to eat shit

to Bain and company of my existence uh,

893

:

about liking the pop star, Michael Bolton.

894

:

Laura: Oh, yes.

895

:

This, some, just the, the way

they've encapsulated office

896

:

behavior in this movie.

897

:

Just, chef's kiss.

898

:

Yeah,

899

:

Xhafer: I am old enough now

where no one has asked me.

900

:

If I like the movie

Aladdin because of my name.

901

:

That's, that's so far in the past

now where that hasn't happened

902

:

to me in a professional setting.

903

:

Laura: mm hmm.

904

:

Xhafer: And I'd really

like it to stay that way.

905

:

Laura: Just wait until there's

like a big reboot of that movie.

906

:

Xhafer: There was one.

907

:

There was the live action with

908

:

Laura: Yeah, I wouldn't call that big.

909

:

Xhafer: Okay, fair.

910

:

It was not successful, I believe,

911

:

but

912

:

Laura: that's where

913

:

Xhafer: know.

914

:

Joanna meets Peter at

Flickr's, which is not Chili's,

915

:

Laura: uh, huh.

916

:

Yes.

917

:

Xhafer: queso skillet, guys.

918

:

And she is impressed at how much

nicer this identical place to her

919

:

workplace is compared to her workplace.

920

:

Laura: This has got to

be the same set, right?

921

:

Like, we just moved a few things around?

922

:

Xhafer: Yes.

923

:

Uh, I think, I mean, it's

definitely the same set.

924

:

I think that's the joke, though.

925

:

Peter decides he's going to get rich by

inventing quiet quitting, and invites

926

:

her over for some Kung Fu and chill.

927

:

I

928

:

Laura: Yeah, He's,

929

:

Xhafer: Kung Fu holds up.

930

:

Laura: he's a visionary, like,

931

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

932

:

Laura: 30 years early, almost?

933

:

25,

934

:

right?

935

:

Xhafer: moves Milton's

desk and takes his stapler.

936

:

Peter grabs his phone book.

937

:

And decides to sit down

with the Deloitte Dolittles.

938

:

I did use it again!

939

:

Go ahead and take it out from earlier.

940

:

I'm sorry, Aaron.

941

:

And Peter just uh,

speaks the truth to them.

942

:

The unequivocal truth.

943

:

He steamrolls past Lumberg

on his way out after this.

944

:

Laura: Turns out the Bobs like truth.

945

:

Xhafer: Yeah.

946

:

He has eight bosses.

947

:

Laura: Yeah,

948

:

Xhafer: That's so many.

949

:

Laura: And they all jump down his

throat about his cover sheets.

950

:

Xhafer: Yeah, I have two

and a half, and that's mind

951

:

numbingly frustrating sometimes.

952

:

Laura: Oh yeah, like, you've got competing

priorities from people, like, I, I

953

:

really want a clear chain of command.

954

:

Yeah.

955

:

Yeah.

956

:

Uh,

957

:

Xhafer: Not the issue.

958

:

Laura: yeah,

959

:

Xhafer: the, my boss will ask me for

something and then his boss will be all

960

:

like, you need to drop everything and

do this, and neglect to tell my boss.

961

:

So when my boss is like, oh, where's

this, how's this thing going?

962

:

I'm all like, your boss came

and told me to work on this.

963

:

He's just like, motherfucker.

964

:

Laura: Yeah, yeah, too much, too

965

:

Xhafer: Uh,

966

:

Laura: they're eight,

eight like vertical bosses,

967

:

Xhafer: Oh, there's no way someone

eight stages up is that infested.

968

:

Laura: yeah, they gotta be eight like

969

:

Xhafer: So, if I had to guess.

970

:

Lumberg is like VP of projects, right?

971

:

So, I'm guessing he's got Lumberg.

972

:

He's got Lumberg's boss.

973

:

He's got the project manager.

974

:

The project manager's boss.

975

:

That's four.

976

:

Um, and then there's probably

accounting people, or bank

977

:

people, and then their bosses.

978

:

Laura: yeah.

979

:

Too much.

980

:

But the Bob's really uh, vibe

with that kind of honesty.

981

:

Xhafer: Mm hmm.

982

:

Laura: It's a little perplexing.

983

:

Xhafer: I mean, you are

identifying waste and

984

:

Laura: hmm.

985

:

Mm

986

:

Xhafer: which is what they actually

should be getting paid to be doing.

987

:

So, everyone's probably so nervous about

keeping their job they don't want to talk

988

:

shit about their terrible eight bosses.

989

:

Laura: Yeah.

990

:

Xhafer: Joanna gets talked to about

not wanting more pieces of flair.

991

:

Laura: Yeah.

992

:

Yeah.

993

:

Doing the minimum is not

enough at Tchotchkes.

994

:

Xhafer: And this is when uh, Bobston

Consulting Group review their interviews

995

:

and are letting people go left and right.

996

:

When they get to Peter The

Bobs are excited and Lumberg

997

:

disparages him immediately.

998

:

Laura: Uh Huh.

999

:

Xhafer: They're like, this guy's

management potential, all this stuff.

:

00:47:50,967 --> 00:47:53,527

And he's just like, yeah.

:

00:47:53,527 --> 00:48:00,667

And then the scene cuts to Peter

pulling into Lumberg's parking spot.

:

00:48:01,387 --> 00:48:04,227

And I noticed something that

I had never noticed before.

:

00:48:05,052 --> 00:48:05,562

Laura: What's that?

:

00:48:06,027 --> 00:48:08,247

Xhafer: Lumberg got

demoted after this meeting.

:

00:48:08,512 --> 00:48:08,552

Laura: Gasp!

:

00:48:10,122 --> 00:48:11,472

His sign changed?

:

00:48:11,657 --> 00:48:13,197

Xhafer: His sign changed.

:

00:48:13,197 --> 00:48:15,457

His title has been removed.

:

00:48:15,737 --> 00:48:17,937

He is no longer vice president.

:

00:48:19,337 --> 00:48:20,467

Division VP.

:

00:48:21,112 --> 00:48:21,252

Laura: Gasp.

:

00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:23,722

I didn't notice that.

:

00:48:25,237 --> 00:48:26,787

Xhafer: He still keeps his parking spot.

:

00:48:26,787 --> 00:48:27,127

Yeah.

:

00:48:27,877 --> 00:48:31,527

I had to like rewind and check at the

beginning of the movie again to be all

:

00:48:31,527 --> 00:48:33,627

like, was, am I remembering this right?

:

00:48:33,637 --> 00:48:34,787

And sure enough.

:

00:48:35,592 --> 00:48:37,102

Laura: I love that kind of psych gag.

:

00:48:37,677 --> 00:48:38,247

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

00:48:38,247 --> 00:48:39,307

Yeah.

:

00:48:39,307 --> 00:48:41,767

Lumberg parks in a handicap spot.

:

00:48:42,282 --> 00:48:44,322

Gets his bumper torn off for his trouble.

:

00:48:44,632 --> 00:48:45,042

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:48:45,542 --> 00:48:51,253

Xhafer: While Peter takes down the

stupid work motivation sign that Lumber

:

00:48:51,253 --> 00:48:53,223

get put up a couple of scenes before.

:

00:48:53,456 --> 00:48:53,906

Laura: Uh Huh.

:

00:48:54,516 --> 00:48:58,526

Xhafer: And then we get a montage

of Kung Fu and chill office,

:

00:48:58,546 --> 00:49:00,816

deconstruction and fishing.

:

00:49:00,816 --> 00:49:03,446

Man,

:

00:49:03,806 --> 00:49:04,776

Laura: right at our desk.

:

00:49:04,876 --> 00:49:05,276

Love it.

:

00:49:06,772 --> 00:49:08,152

Xhafer: like fuck this guy.

:

00:49:10,762 --> 00:49:14,182

Have you ever been in a crowded

office when someone microwaves fish?

:

00:49:14,447 --> 00:49:16,417

Laura: Can you imagine gutting that fish?

:

00:49:16,717 --> 00:49:17,027

Yeah.

:

00:49:17,217 --> 00:49:21,737

Well, theoretically, maybe because it's

fresher, like, it doesn't smell as much?

:

00:49:21,997 --> 00:49:22,417

Question mark?

:

00:49:23,267 --> 00:49:24,517

Xhafer: Have you gutted a fish?

:

00:49:24,817 --> 00:49:25,857

Laura: Oh, no.

:

00:49:25,897 --> 00:49:26,557

I have not.

:

00:49:26,557 --> 00:49:28,583

Yeah.

:

00:49:28,583 --> 00:49:31,012

Yeah.

:

00:49:31,012 --> 00:49:34,005

Yeah.

:

00:49:34,696 --> 00:49:42,116

Xhafer: fish in an office that

is inescapable, but not by much.

:

00:49:43,606 --> 00:49:46,616

It is, it is a quality all of its own.

:

00:49:47,389 --> 00:49:53,259

Lumberg goes to take out his frustrations

here on Peter only to find him impervious.

:

00:49:54,424 --> 00:49:56,694

So he takes it out on Milton instead.

:

00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,130

Laura: The little punching bag mountain.

:

00:49:59,885 --> 00:50:00,595

Xhafer: Mm hmm.

:

00:50:00,915 --> 00:50:03,945

Laura: He's already down

because he lost his stapler.

:

00:50:04,703 --> 00:50:08,693

Xhafer: Peter meets with the Bobs and

finds he's getting a promotion and that

:

00:50:08,693 --> 00:50:13,783

they are firing his friends who are

still having issues with the printer.

:

00:50:14,543 --> 00:50:15,023

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:50:16,053 --> 00:50:17,283

PC load letter.

:

00:50:17,923 --> 00:50:19,763

That's a reference I've made in an

:

00:50:19,814 --> 00:50:21,573

Xhafer: Ha, ha.

:

00:50:21,573 --> 00:50:22,453

ha.

:

00:50:22,808 --> 00:50:26,128

Peter has Michael over for a drink

to tell him he's gonna get let go

:

00:50:26,128 --> 00:50:31,888

ahead of time, and he reveals that

his plan is the plot to Superman 3.

:

00:50:33,098 --> 00:50:38,178

But also, like, I get recommended

videos in my YouTube algorithm for

:

00:50:38,178 --> 00:50:40,458

people to do this with cryptocurrency.

:

00:50:40,713 --> 00:50:42,133

Laura: Oh, no.

:

00:50:42,373 --> 00:50:43,753

That doesn't seem smart.

:

00:50:44,228 --> 00:50:47,478

Xhafer: There's a whole, there's a whole

thing where it's all like, you take

:

00:50:47,478 --> 00:50:53,458

advantage of the volatile nature of the

market, and so, because transactions

:

00:50:53,458 --> 00:51:00,358

take moments to process, There is a

change in the exchange rate in between

:

00:51:00,358 --> 00:51:07,008

them processing, and so, and so you will

send, you will intercept the transaction.

:

00:51:07,601 --> 00:51:14,566

And then buy the remainder of whatever

was left over from the uh, you

:

00:51:14,566 --> 00:51:16,086

like, you complete the transaction.

:

00:51:16,086 --> 00:51:19,986

So you pay whatever the transaction price

was, but you end up with a little bit more

:

00:51:19,986 --> 00:51:21,966

because of the change in exchange rate.

:

00:51:22,861 --> 00:51:23,251

Laura: Mm hmm.

:

00:51:23,326 --> 00:51:26,006

Xhafer: you automate this with the

computer program to make sure that it

:

00:51:26,006 --> 00:51:27,096

only happens when it's advantageous.

:

00:51:27,096 --> 00:51:33,027

And all it takes is like a

hundred thousand dollars worth of

:

00:51:33,027 --> 00:51:37,147

cryptocurrency to have in the bank to

be able to manage the transactions.

:

00:51:37,337 --> 00:51:38,007

Fucking.

:

00:51:38,412 --> 00:51:39,242

Laura: All it takes.

:

00:51:40,687 --> 00:51:41,902

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

00:51:43,302 --> 00:51:43,692

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:51:43,822 --> 00:51:44,142

Yeah.

:

00:51:45,162 --> 00:51:47,312

Xhafer: It's just like, I saw

someone post on Facebook today.

:

00:51:47,312 --> 00:51:51,812

It's like, look, all you need to do is

put 3 million in an 8 percent treasury

:

00:51:51,832 --> 00:51:54,662

bond and you'll yield 20, 000 a month.

:

00:51:57,402 --> 00:51:58,342

It's not that hard.

:

00:51:58,382 --> 00:51:59,252

It's just all like.

:

00:51:59,697 --> 00:52:00,287

Oh my god.

:

00:52:01,062 --> 00:52:01,362

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:52:01,682 --> 00:52:02,892

It's not that hard, Ja'far.

:

00:52:02,992 --> 00:52:05,562

I mean, we have the 1.

:

00:52:05,562 --> 00:52:07,812

8 million dollars already for

two chicks at the same time.

:

00:52:07,812 --> 00:52:12,852

Oh,

:

00:52:12,877 --> 00:52:13,487

Xhafer: savings.

:

00:52:14,983 --> 00:52:17,383

You have 2 million in a high yield

savings account, then you're getting

:

00:52:17,393 --> 00:52:20,203

100, 000 a year to live off of.

:

00:52:20,688 --> 00:52:21,418

Laura: okay, okay.

:

00:52:23,804 --> 00:52:25,994

Xhafer: When asked that question,

that's always my answer.

:

00:52:26,939 --> 00:52:29,489

Laura: I mean, or you can just

have it and have two chicks at the

:

00:52:29,489 --> 00:52:30,489

same time, that's all I'm saying.

:

00:52:30,694 --> 00:52:38,894

I can't stop saying it, sorry.

:

00:52:43,834 --> 00:52:48,074

Okay, so yeah, we're going to steal

fractions of pennies into a bank account.

:

00:52:48,374 --> 00:52:48,794

Xhafer: Mm-Hmm.

:

00:52:49,264 --> 00:52:52,839

pile 'em up over the day,

get a dollar or two a day.

:

00:52:52,839 --> 00:52:53,889

It will add up over time.

:

00:52:53,889 --> 00:52:54,729

Whatever it is.

:

00:52:55,269 --> 00:52:57,639

So Peter encourages Michael to go for it.

:

00:52:58,079 --> 00:53:02,129

They get Samir to buy into the plan

because they need his expertise.

:

00:53:02,779 --> 00:53:06,409

Uh, someone uses the term

fudge packers at some point,

:

00:53:07,389 --> 00:53:07,869

which.

:

00:53:08,234 --> 00:53:10,944

Which I hadn't heard in a very long time.

:

00:53:11,044 --> 00:53:12,224

Laura: Right, right.

:

00:53:12,947 --> 00:53:15,897

Xhafer: that's, that's a language

choice that was made in a movie.

:

00:53:16,217 --> 00:53:17,107

Laura: Mm hmm.

:

00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:19,907

That's, that's our, another

Animal House moment.

:

00:53:21,569 --> 00:53:29,019

Xhafer: Was funny or like, cause

it's, it's not even like it's, even

:

00:53:29,019 --> 00:53:34,119

as like an insult, it's like, you

just, you're saying a thing to not

:

00:53:34,119 --> 00:53:36,249

say the thing, just say the thing.

:

00:53:36,279 --> 00:53:38,669

I've, I've always felt that

that should be the case.

:

00:53:38,669 --> 00:53:40,089

Like, don't.

:

00:53:40,664 --> 00:53:46,424

Don't try and make it slightly more

acceptable by saying a different thing.

:

00:53:46,424 --> 00:53:48,674

If you're going to be a piece

of shit, just be a piece of

:

00:53:48,674 --> 00:53:50,264

shit and out yourself, please.

:

00:53:51,179 --> 00:53:51,589

Laura: yeah.

:

00:53:51,659 --> 00:53:54,929

They don't, they want to think that

they're not a piece of shit though.

:

00:53:55,464 --> 00:53:58,034

Xhafer: Well, most pieces of shit

don't know they're a piece of shit.

:

00:53:58,044 --> 00:53:59,914

That's why they're a piece of shit.

:

00:53:59,934 --> 00:54:03,234

Laura: Yeah, yeah, they're still

doing mental gymnastics, which

:

00:54:03,254 --> 00:54:05,214

comes out as verbal choices.

:

00:54:05,994 --> 00:54:06,404

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

00:54:06,405 --> 00:54:11,864

Yes,

:

00:54:12,794 --> 00:54:15,744

Laura: These two devs have to

sit in the same cubicle together?

:

00:54:16,114 --> 00:54:17,044

Speaking of hell.

:

00:54:17,045 --> 00:54:21,167

For real.

:

00:54:21,518 --> 00:54:26,458

Xhafer: I, I spent some time

in a four person cube and that

:

00:54:26,458 --> 00:54:28,128

was working a call center.

:

00:54:29,418 --> 00:54:33,718

Of every job on earth that

should have its own cube.

:

00:54:35,350 --> 00:54:40,090

put the people who are in meetings

together all the time in a four person

:

00:54:40,090 --> 00:54:45,960

cube and let the rest of us in the

call center not have to listen to other

:

00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:47,890

people in the call center, please.

:

00:54:47,930 --> 00:54:51,780

Laura: real, like, I could not do that

job because, like, when people start

:

00:54:51,780 --> 00:54:56,180

talking around me and I'm trying to

talk to another person, I will not

:

00:54:56,190 --> 00:54:58,610

process anything that anyone is saying.

:

00:55:00,310 --> 00:55:01,730

Xhafer: But it's the lowest paid job.

:

00:55:01,730 --> 00:55:03,750

So we're going to pack

you in like sardines.

:

00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:04,270

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:04,740

Yeah.

:

00:55:05,240 --> 00:55:08,800

So you can't do your job effectively,

because why would we want that?

:

00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:09,990

Xhafer: Mm hmm.

:

00:55:10,632 --> 00:55:13,462

I mean, nah, that whole team's

been outsourced anyways,

:

00:55:13,742 --> 00:55:14,102

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:55:14,342 --> 00:55:15,162

They're in India now.

:

00:55:15,172 --> 00:55:15,192

Yeah.

:

00:55:15,192 --> 00:55:15,497

Yeah.

:

00:55:15,497 --> 00:55:15,802

Yeah.

:

00:55:15,972 --> 00:55:16,932

Xhafer: Yeah, it's true.

:

00:55:18,327 --> 00:55:23,187

Laura: Yeah, so we get the virus, We

steal a printer and we beat it up.

:

00:55:23,527 --> 00:55:27,087

Xhafer: Did you catch the file,

the virus's file name was virus?

:

00:55:29,754 --> 00:55:32,084

Laura: Yeah, I mean, why not?

:

00:55:32,614 --> 00:55:34,164

Gotta clearly label your code.

:

00:55:34,854 --> 00:55:37,534

Xhafer: Yeah, Norton's having

a field day with that one.

:

00:55:38,034 --> 00:55:41,604

We hear of Tom's suicide

attempt turned car accident.

:

00:55:42,344 --> 00:55:48,034

And drunk driving settlement, giving

him the aforementioned million dollars.

:

00:55:48,763 --> 00:55:49,593

Laura: Wonderful.

:

00:55:49,863 --> 00:55:50,613

Wonderful.

:

00:55:51,773 --> 00:55:54,073

Xhafer: He's not interested in

two chicks at the same time,

:

00:55:54,293 --> 00:55:55,923

Laura: No, he's got bigger plans.

:

00:55:56,443 --> 00:56:00,383

Xhafer: mostly healthcare, but once he

gets past that, he's going to finally

:

00:56:00,383 --> 00:56:03,223

build his jump to conclusions, Matt.

:

00:56:03,543 --> 00:56:09,503

This is the thing that I easily

reference the most from this movie.

:

00:56:10,048 --> 00:56:10,578

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:56:11,243 --> 00:56:13,743

Xhafer: Whenever someone in a team chat.

:

00:56:14,713 --> 00:56:18,113

says, makes a logical

leap that I disagree with

:

00:56:19,313 --> 00:56:23,733

of any kind or like a thing where I

just think they're taking it too far.

:

00:56:24,023 --> 00:56:29,303

I will just post an animated gif

of the jump to conclusions, Matt.

:

00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:30,803

I have it on lock.

:

00:56:30,813 --> 00:56:33,453

It's on my, it's on my gif speed dial.

:

00:56:33,454 --> 00:56:36,343

Yeah,

:

00:56:36,598 --> 00:56:39,558

Laura: the times that I read an

academic paper and I disagree

:

00:56:39,558 --> 00:56:40,778

with their conclusions.

:

00:56:42,403 --> 00:56:44,143

Xhafer: that's exactly

what it's there for.

:

00:56:44,908 --> 00:56:46,698

Laura: Perfect, love it.

:

00:56:49,055 --> 00:56:51,395

Xhafer: for Amir and Michael.

:

00:56:51,535 --> 00:56:55,895

Peter steals that shitty printer

and they smash it in the field.

:

00:56:56,525 --> 00:56:57,905

Also Samir can breakdance.

:

00:57:01,265 --> 00:57:03,885

Laura: This is a beautiful scene, like

:

00:57:04,845 --> 00:57:07,705

cinematography, choreography.

:

00:57:08,750 --> 00:57:09,660

Actors.

:

00:57:10,178 --> 00:57:12,208

Hell, like costume choices.

:

00:57:12,228 --> 00:57:14,398

It's all brilliant.

:

00:57:14,983 --> 00:57:15,313

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

00:57:15,987 --> 00:57:17,197

they get super drunk.

:

00:57:18,017 --> 00:57:21,627

And then he sends them home

so Joanna can come over.

:

00:57:23,917 --> 00:57:25,217

They do not have a DD.

:

00:57:25,307 --> 00:57:26,757

This is before Uber exists.

:

00:57:26,757 --> 00:57:28,797

He walks them to their cars.

:

00:57:29,282 --> 00:57:30,332

Laura: Oh man, he

:

00:57:30,532 --> 00:57:32,862

Xhafer: What a shitty friend!

:

00:57:33,302 --> 00:57:35,572

Oh, he's the fucking worst!

:

00:57:36,022 --> 00:57:38,622

Laura: He should have just let

him crash on Lawrence's couch.

:

00:57:38,662 --> 00:57:40,092

I'm sure Lawrence is good.

:

00:57:40,532 --> 00:57:43,552

Xhafer: Yeah, Lawrence,

Joanna's coming over.

:

00:57:44,242 --> 00:57:46,552

Can you let these guys

crash on your couch, please?

:

00:57:46,582 --> 00:57:47,082

Laura: Mm hmm.

:

00:57:47,582 --> 00:57:47,812

He's

:

00:57:47,822 --> 00:57:50,952

Xhafer: Or maybe, or maybe

just don't have sex that night.

:

00:57:53,672 --> 00:57:56,042

Maybe care about your friends lives more.

:

00:57:56,472 --> 00:57:57,542

Random thought.

:

00:57:58,032 --> 00:58:00,672

Although I guess maybe the

goal would be to kill them?

:

00:58:01,388 --> 00:58:06,308

If he kills them, then he's

Completely innocent at this point,

:

00:58:06,778 --> 00:58:08,278

because they did everything.

:

00:58:08,708 --> 00:58:12,918

They're the only other ones who know

besides Lawrence, and he could just have

:

00:58:12,918 --> 00:58:14,488

the bank account and not have to split it?

:

00:58:15,100 --> 00:58:15,580

Laura: Yeah.

:

00:58:15,650 --> 00:58:18,700

I mean, he's on the bank account,

so that's traceable, right?

:

00:58:19,770 --> 00:58:24,410

Xhafer: Maybe, I mean, I mean,

hypothetically, you run it through an LLC

:

00:58:24,410 --> 00:58:29,890

or two to try and hide it, but like, maybe

he's the one who made the decimal entry.

:

00:58:29,890 --> 00:58:32,540

Maybe Michael didn't fuck

up in a couple of scenes.

:

00:58:32,780 --> 00:58:35,650

Maybe he did it because

he's a coder too, right?

:

00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,400

There's no reason he couldn't

go and change a decimal point

:

00:58:38,710 --> 00:58:39,990

and maybe he tried to kill them.

:

00:58:39,990 --> 00:58:42,380

And maybe that's the secret of this movie.

:

00:58:42,500 --> 00:58:44,690

Laura: You just made

office space really dark.

:

00:58:44,730 --> 00:58:45,610

I don't like that.

:

00:58:45,630 --> 00:58:46,800

I'm dialing it back.

:

00:58:46,810 --> 00:58:48,420

We're rolling back the tape.

:

00:58:48,630 --> 00:58:49,420

Roll it back.

:

00:58:49,670 --> 00:58:50,070

Xhafer: Sorry.

:

00:58:50,070 --> 00:58:52,349

Okay.

:

00:58:53,104 --> 00:58:56,174

Tom tells Peter to hang in there

because maybe one day he'll be hit

:

00:58:56,174 --> 00:58:58,534

by a car and not have to work again.

:

00:58:59,854 --> 00:59:00,804

Laura: It's truly the dream.

:

00:59:00,824 --> 00:59:02,494

Xhafer: It's actually the next line.

:

00:59:03,004 --> 00:59:07,934

This is just like that thing in college

where like, if you get hit by the,

:

00:59:08,294 --> 00:59:12,914

the campus transportation shuttle,

you get all A's for the semester.

:

00:59:12,914 --> 00:59:15,184

Or like, if your roommate

dies, you get all A's.

:

00:59:15,554 --> 00:59:17,544

That, that's this energy.

:

00:59:18,094 --> 00:59:23,494

Drew, or whatever tells Peter that

Joanna and Lumberg were a thing.

:

00:59:23,904 --> 00:59:26,744

Which is immediately a problem for him.

:

00:59:28,594 --> 00:59:30,994

What a shitty dude again!

:

00:59:31,539 --> 00:59:35,979

Laura: of bad looks in this movie,

this is number three, I think.

:

00:59:36,529 --> 00:59:42,609

The, now, granted, his little, like,

hallucination or dream that he has later

:

00:59:43,419 --> 00:59:45,929

is hysterical with Gary Cole.

:

00:59:46,234 --> 00:59:46,684

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

00:59:47,749 --> 00:59:51,099

Laura: And in a compromising

position, it is very, very funny.

:

00:59:51,559 --> 00:59:56,289

But yeah, this is not something

men should do or feel.

:

00:59:57,654 --> 00:59:58,954

Xhafer: Hundred percent.

:

01:00:00,644 --> 01:00:03,754

This is just like Calm the fuck down.

:

01:00:04,224 --> 01:00:04,484

Ugh.

:

01:00:04,529 --> 01:00:04,959

Laura: Yeah.

:

01:00:05,899 --> 01:00:10,539

And, and gossip from, from, I

don't even remember his name.

:

01:00:10,539 --> 01:00:13,779

I'm going to just go with

Drew, like from Drew, come on.

:

01:00:14,409 --> 01:00:14,979

Like

:

01:00:15,884 --> 01:00:17,264

Xhafer: The O Face guy?

:

01:00:17,674 --> 01:00:18,234

Really?

:

01:00:18,399 --> 01:00:19,709

Laura: guy, you're going to trust

:

01:00:19,709 --> 01:00:20,239

that?

:

01:00:21,149 --> 01:00:23,809

Like, your judgment is bad

and you should feel bad.

:

01:00:24,364 --> 01:00:24,764

Xhafer: Mhmm.

:

01:00:26,074 --> 01:00:27,914

He wakes up in a cold sweat.

:

01:00:28,696 --> 01:00:36,071

Joanna quits as Peter checks

the account and finds 305, 000.

:

01:00:36,381 --> 01:00:36,881

Laura: check.

:

01:00:36,941 --> 01:00:38,081

Inflation check.

:

01:00:39,127 --> 01:00:39,797

Xhafer: 1.

:

01:00:39,857 --> 01:00:40,627

8 5.

:

01:00:40,627 --> 01:00:43,447

6?

:

01:00:43,447 --> 01:00:49,087

Oh, math!

:

01:00:49,517 --> 01:00:52,807

Five thousand, five hundred and

six thousand dollars, hundred

:

01:00:52,817 --> 01:00:54,477

Laura: 560, 000.

:

01:00:54,577 --> 01:00:54,877

Yeah.

:

01:00:55,017 --> 01:00:56,627

Xhafer: sorry, five hundred

and sixty thousand dollars.

:

01:00:57,007 --> 01:00:57,307

Laura: Mm hmm.

:

01:00:57,407 --> 01:00:57,737

Xhafer: Man.

:

01:00:59,027 --> 01:00:59,477

Yeah.

:

01:00:59,477 --> 01:01:01,297

It's a bunch of money.

:

01:01:01,697 --> 01:01:02,297

Laura: Pretty good.

:

01:01:02,657 --> 01:01:04,257

Not bad for overnight.

:

01:01:05,152 --> 01:01:10,852

Xhafer: Mm hmm, Bill has a tone deaf

birthday party right after the layoffs.

:

01:01:11,337 --> 01:01:11,457

Laura: Uh,

:

01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:14,090

Xhafer: Way to raise morale.

:

01:01:15,582 --> 01:01:17,502

Also, he's uh, 41.

:

01:01:18,046 --> 01:01:22,456

Which actually is really close to Gary

Cole's age when making this movie of 43.

:

01:01:22,891 --> 01:01:23,251

Laura: Mm hmm.

:

01:01:23,818 --> 01:01:25,238

Xhafer: Milton does not

get a piece of cake.

:

01:01:25,668 --> 01:01:28,358

Laura: Those glasses really

age people, don't they?

:

01:01:29,068 --> 01:01:29,828

Xhafer: They sure do.

:

01:01:29,858 --> 01:01:30,978

I mean, that's not right.

:

01:01:30,978 --> 01:01:31,408

These are

:

01:01:32,008 --> 01:01:34,038

Laura: No, those are very

young and stylish and hip.

:

01:01:34,568 --> 01:01:36,118

Those are not the same glasses.

:

01:01:36,478 --> 01:01:39,888

Xhafer: I know, I just worried

real m What about my old pair?

:

01:01:40,158 --> 01:01:42,178

My old pair, did these age me?

:

01:01:42,537 --> 01:01:43,657

Laura: No, no.

:

01:01:43,677 --> 01:01:47,247

I think it's the thing where it has

like the double wires across the

:

01:01:47,247 --> 01:01:53,398

top and then the shape, you know,

that big really strange shape.

:

01:01:53,753 --> 01:01:55,263

That's what does it, man.

:

01:01:56,061 --> 01:02:01,313

This has been Ja'far trying on

glasses for our audio podcast.

:

01:02:01,853 --> 01:02:06,403

Xhafer: Every time I go to buy

glasses, I freak out because I have

:

01:02:06,403 --> 01:02:10,849

no idea what my face looks like,

or how glasses on it look, and I'm

:

01:02:10,849 --> 01:02:12,669

a notoriously bad judge of this.

:

01:02:13,203 --> 01:02:17,443

So, anyone who will listen, I will

send a dozen pictures of me wearing

:

01:02:17,443 --> 01:02:21,613

different glasses to, hoping for

some form of opinion on them.

:

01:02:23,279 --> 01:02:24,859

Laura: Yeah, no, I feel the same way.

:

01:02:24,899 --> 01:02:29,299

Like, I don't wear glasses in public

because of reasons, but like, whenever

:

01:02:29,439 --> 01:02:33,179

I pick out a pair and I think I might

have to wear these in public someday,

:

01:02:33,594 --> 01:02:34,044

Xhafer: Mm hmm.

:

01:02:34,179 --> 01:02:35,679

Laura: I get worried about the shape.

:

01:02:36,919 --> 01:02:39,979

Xhafer: Uh, Samir, Michael, and

Peter try to figure out what to do.

:

01:02:40,721 --> 01:02:43,351

Bill is even shittier to Milton.

:

01:02:43,851 --> 01:02:46,621

They try to figure out money laundering.

:

01:02:47,232 --> 01:02:52,252

Orlando Jones comes by to sell them

some magazines and try to maybe

:

01:02:52,272 --> 01:02:55,712

get him to help launder money since

he knows something about drugs,

:

01:02:56,017 --> 01:02:58,397

Laura: Yeah, so random, yeah.

:

01:02:59,032 --> 01:03:02,912

Xhafer: as they find out he is

just a laid off engineer as well

:

01:03:03,267 --> 01:03:05,467

Laura: Oh, what is the

name of the other company?

:

01:03:05,617 --> 01:03:06,497

Inetrode.

:

01:03:07,002 --> 01:03:07,552

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

01:03:07,967 --> 01:03:08,787

Laura: Inetrode.

:

01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:12,900

Xhafer: Super generic

software company name.

:

01:03:13,045 --> 01:03:14,745

Laura: Yeah, I love all these names.

:

01:03:15,015 --> 01:03:15,875

Super great.

:

01:03:16,567 --> 01:03:20,217

Xhafer: Peter has a dream of

Samir and Michael going to jail

:

01:03:20,727 --> 01:03:22,527

while he only gets scolded.

:

01:03:26,597 --> 01:03:29,867

Laura: Yeah, no, I think it would

be worse than that, but okay.

:

01:03:29,867 --> 01:03:31,177

Okay.

:

01:03:31,177 --> 01:03:39,657

Yeah,

:

01:03:39,787 --> 01:03:40,827

Xhafer: and she turns him down.

:

01:03:40,857 --> 01:03:43,927

I mean like he goes to say

sorry and forgets to say sorry.

:

01:03:45,747 --> 01:03:46,667

Fuck this guy.

:

01:03:48,317 --> 01:03:50,007

You're Jennifer Aniston in the 90s.

:

01:03:50,027 --> 01:03:50,987

You can do better.

:

01:03:51,017 --> 01:03:51,507

You did.

:

01:03:51,527 --> 01:03:52,417

You did Brad Pitt.

:

01:03:53,447 --> 01:03:54,147

Good for you.

:

01:03:55,377 --> 01:03:59,087

Laura: I think Joanna's actually the real

hero of this movie, that's all I'm saying.

:

01:03:59,869 --> 01:04:03,629

Xhafer: Peter puts all the money

in an envelope with an explanation.

:

01:04:04,335 --> 01:04:08,935

Laura: And immediately regrets it,

like he goes slips it under the office

:

01:04:08,935 --> 01:04:12,615

door and immediately attacks the door.

:

01:04:13,765 --> 01:04:15,255

Xhafer: It's the middle of the night.

:

01:04:15,405 --> 01:04:16,615

Go to the lobby.

:

01:04:17,335 --> 01:04:19,088

Go to the coat rack.

:

01:04:19,498 --> 01:04:20,708

Grab a hanger.

:

01:04:21,088 --> 01:04:22,718

You can get this envelope.

:

01:04:23,528 --> 01:04:24,408

You big dummy.

:

01:04:24,788 --> 01:04:29,468

Laura: Or, alternate plan,

maybe burn the place down?

:

01:04:30,638 --> 01:04:31,168

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

01:04:31,857 --> 01:04:36,087

Well, that's what ends up happening as

Milton goes into Lumberg's office the next

:

01:04:36,087 --> 01:04:40,027

morning and actually burns the place down.

:

01:04:40,706 --> 01:04:45,066

Thus destroying all of the evidence

and clearing everyone's names.

:

01:04:46,121 --> 01:04:47,031

Laura: Question mark?

:

01:04:49,426 --> 01:04:53,866

Xhafer: I mean, this would be before you

had like cloud backups of your financials.

:

01:04:53,876 --> 01:04:58,496

So if everything was only stored

on site, but they're vaguely

:

01:04:58,496 --> 01:05:00,866

a banking company as well,

:

01:05:00,911 --> 01:05:04,391

Laura: I think they're the banking

software company, is the thing.

:

01:05:04,451 --> 01:05:05,711

Yeah, so,

:

01:05:06,726 --> 01:05:10,876

Xhafer: maybe they don't have

another office somewhere or anything.

:

01:05:10,876 --> 01:05:11,506

Maybe,

:

01:05:11,821 --> 01:05:13,221

Laura: No off site backups.

:

01:05:13,576 --> 01:05:14,136

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

01:05:14,176 --> 01:05:16,956

That seems, Foolish.

:

01:05:17,351 --> 01:05:18,721

Laura: like poor choices.

:

01:05:18,721 --> 01:05:21,611

Mm

:

01:05:21,926 --> 01:05:23,966

Xhafer: so maybe.

:

01:05:24,291 --> 01:05:25,121

Laura: hmm, mm hmm.

:

01:05:25,826 --> 01:05:28,986

Xhafer: Yeah, so we fast

forward a little bit.

:

01:05:29,116 --> 01:05:33,846

Peter gets a job with Lawrence cleaning

up the mess of the Initech building.

:

01:05:34,566 --> 01:05:35,236

Laura: Poetic.

:

01:05:35,516 --> 01:05:40,510

Xhafer: He finds Milton's Michael

and Amir got jobs at Inetrode.

:

01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:42,700

And Milton took the money.

:

01:05:43,350 --> 01:05:48,170

And lives on a beach now, where he's

shitty to people because he's rich.

:

01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:49,270

Laura: Yeah.

:

01:05:49,420 --> 01:05:51,070

Or because people were shitty to him.

:

01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:51,900

It's unclear,

:

01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,540

Xhafer: A little bit of both.

:

01:05:55,470 --> 01:05:57,120

Laura: but he's going to

burn that resort down.

:

01:05:57,180 --> 01:05:58,170

Don't worry about it.

:

01:05:58,830 --> 01:06:01,390

Xhafer: I mean, if he finds a way

to collect the insurance money for

:

01:06:01,390 --> 01:06:03,720

it, more power to him, I guess.

:

01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:06,550

I don't, I don't know.

:

01:06:07,010 --> 01:06:07,490

Laura: Yeah.

:

01:06:07,570 --> 01:06:08,890

Xhafer: There, that's the movie.

:

01:06:08,890 --> 01:06:09,330

See?

:

01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:13,660

Hour 17 record time.

:

01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:21,370

Did that, Did the last 45 minutes

of an hour long movie or whatever.

:

01:06:22,980 --> 01:06:24,480

Ran through that shit.

:

01:06:24,970 --> 01:06:25,400

Laura: Yeah.

:

01:06:25,460 --> 01:06:29,250

You know, listener, if you haven't

seen office space, what are you doing?

:

01:06:29,670 --> 01:06:30,660

Xhafer: Just go watch it.

:

01:06:30,930 --> 01:06:31,580

Laura: What are you doing?

:

01:06:31,590 --> 01:06:33,000

Don't listen to us any longer.

:

01:06:33,620 --> 01:06:37,650

Xhafer: besides a couple of really out of

place comments that you'll find jarring

:

01:06:38,150 --> 01:06:40,990

Uh, it's still a really enjoyable movie.

:

01:06:41,368 --> 01:06:41,678

Laura: hmm.

:

01:06:41,688 --> 01:06:42,578

Mm hmm.

:

01:06:42,698 --> 01:06:46,653

Xhafer: can forgive those things,

I think it's just the two?

:

01:06:47,073 --> 01:06:47,423

That's all I

:

01:06:47,423 --> 01:06:48,093

wrote down.

:

01:06:48,833 --> 01:06:49,273

Okay.

:

01:06:49,753 --> 01:06:53,653

If you can ignore those three shitty

comments that should stay in the

:

01:06:53,653 --> 01:06:56,253

90s, it's a really enjoyable film.

:

01:06:56,883 --> 01:06:59,103

And if you can't, that's fine too.

:

01:06:59,183 --> 01:07:00,213

They're shitty comments.

:

01:07:00,223 --> 01:07:00,613

Fuck them.

:

01:07:01,118 --> 01:07:01,428

Laura: hmm.

:

01:07:02,638 --> 01:07:03,438

Yeah, yeah.

:

01:07:03,448 --> 01:07:07,318

But, I mean, there's so much

in there that's just iconic

:

01:07:07,328 --> 01:07:09,338

for us, for our generation.

:

01:07:09,648 --> 01:07:14,243

Like, I imagine that other

generations that are older and

:

01:07:14,243 --> 01:07:16,273

actually worked it find hysterical.

:

01:07:17,003 --> 01:07:17,153

Xhafer: Mm

:

01:07:17,303 --> 01:07:21,757

Laura: Uh, so many, like, sight

gags that aren't as funny to,

:

01:07:21,757 --> 01:07:23,997

like, explain on an audio podcast.

:

01:07:24,877 --> 01:07:26,207

So you just gotta watch it.

:

01:07:26,387 --> 01:07:26,617

Just

:

01:07:26,827 --> 01:07:31,337

Xhafer: It's, It's, a good film and

it's probably better to hear it.

:

01:07:32,592 --> 01:07:35,362

firsthand than to hear

me explain it half drunk.

:

01:07:36,092 --> 01:07:36,452

I don't know.

:

01:07:36,452 --> 01:07:36,882

Maybe.

:

01:07:38,596 --> 01:07:40,567

Laura: And they're both

enjoyable in their own way.

:

01:07:41,502 --> 01:07:42,032

Xhafer: Thanks.

:

01:07:42,257 --> 01:07:42,857

Laura: To be sure.

:

01:07:42,857 --> 01:07:44,272

Yeah.

:

01:07:44,566 --> 01:07:47,676

Xhafer: Well, speaking of

enjoyable in their own way, next

:

01:07:47,676 --> 01:07:51,036

week, we've got Vic joining us

from Divinity Meeting Television

:

01:07:51,036 --> 01:07:55,496

and my other podcast last

time on for Crusades.

:

01:07:55,626 --> 01:07:57,816

Each night I dream of home.

:

01:07:58,551 --> 01:08:03,441

Which is the series finale, but

not for us, because we're watching

:

01:08:03,441 --> 01:08:05,041

it in that weird fucking order.

:

01:08:05,331 --> 01:08:07,431

Laura: Oh, this is weird.

:

01:08:08,181 --> 01:08:12,111

It's, it's another one of those

like JMS poet titles, you know?

:

01:08:12,651 --> 01:08:13,061

Xhafer: Yeah.

:

01:08:14,021 --> 01:08:19,081

In an attempt to understand the

nature of the Drok virus better, the

:

01:08:19,081 --> 01:08:25,031

Excalibur is sent back to Earth's

orbit for a top secret special pickup.

:

01:08:25,770 --> 01:08:27,621

A familiar face returns.

:

01:08:28,060 --> 01:08:30,581

The show ends on an open ending.

:

01:08:31,081 --> 01:08:35,118

Laura: Are we finally getting a

resolution to Lockley Watch:

:

01:08:37,238 --> 01:08:39,488

Xhafer: Maybe, maybe

we'll finally see Lockly.

:

01:08:40,309 --> 01:08:45,389

I think I, I, I kind of ex, I think

this is the one with Franklin though?

:

01:08:46,189 --> 01:08:48,779

Or maybe that's, I know, I

know someone asked to be a

:

01:08:48,779 --> 01:08:50,249

guest on the one with Franklin.

:

01:08:51,049 --> 01:08:57,169

Laura: What, what a twist for

Lockley Watch to get sidelined for,

:

01:08:57,779 --> 01:08:59,809

A different friend, a familiar face.

:

01:08:59,809 --> 01:09:02,452

Yeah.

:

01:09:02,452 --> 01:09:05,095

Yeah.

:

01:09:05,109 --> 01:09:07,368

Xhafer: think if you're in the main

credits, you get a base level for

:

01:09:07,368 --> 01:09:08,889

every episode, so good for her.

:

01:09:10,288 --> 01:09:11,249

Good for you, Tracy.

:

01:09:12,529 --> 01:09:14,609

Miss Scoogins, getting that paycheck.

:

01:09:15,612 --> 01:09:16,551

Laura: Get that money, girl.

:

01:09:17,292 --> 01:09:22,352

Xhafer: All right, well, that's it for

this week, but we'll be back next week.

:

01:09:22,381 --> 01:09:26,412

But before we go, we of

course have to say thank you.

:

01:09:27,562 --> 01:09:35,482

Hey, Jeremy, Jeremy Siegel, Jeremy Siegel

42, Jeremy Siegel 42, the only Jeremy

:

01:09:35,482 --> 01:09:37,452

Siegel that makes music on Bandcamp.

:

01:09:38,002 --> 01:09:40,852

We really appreciate you

composing our theme music.

:

01:09:40,852 --> 01:09:42,032

Thank you so much.

:

01:09:42,591 --> 01:09:43,221

You're welcome.

:

01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:43,747

You're welcome.

:

01:09:47,594 --> 01:09:51,084

Laura: And also thank you Angry

Duck Time Machine on Instagram

:

01:09:51,094 --> 01:09:52,524

for our podcast artwork.

:

01:09:53,154 --> 01:09:54,534

Xhafer: Aaron sorry.

:

01:09:55,214 --> 01:09:55,924

Also thank you.

:

01:09:59,029 --> 01:10:03,353

Laura: Every podcast we end with

some Apologies and thank yous.

:

01:10:05,493 --> 01:10:07,963

Hey listener, thank you

for being here with us.

:

01:10:08,043 --> 01:10:09,663

We appreciate you too.

:

01:10:10,143 --> 01:10:13,303

And your time, and your earpods, whatever.

:

01:10:13,648 --> 01:10:17,448

Xhafer: We're glad that you have a commute

that you have to suffer through, but

:

01:10:17,448 --> 01:10:19,868

we can maybe make a little bit better.

:

01:10:21,162 --> 01:10:23,412

Laura: all that time

searching for a parking space.

:

01:10:23,882 --> 01:10:24,562

With us.

:

01:10:25,530 --> 01:10:28,300

If you want to reach out to

us, you can reach us on our

:

01:10:28,300 --> 01:10:30,559

email, whoareyoub5 at gmail.

:

01:10:30,559 --> 01:10:33,400

com, or you can join us on our Discord.

:

01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:38,779

Whaaat?

:

01:10:38,970 --> 01:10:39,320

Xhafer: yesterday.

:

01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:39,350

Okay.

:

01:10:42,625 --> 01:10:43,585

I do check.

:

01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:46,059

Laura: What, what did Crazy Rick say?

:

01:10:46,735 --> 01:10:52,025

Xhafer: Crazy Rick I believe, has

left three reviews at this point.

:

01:10:52,925 --> 01:10:59,405

Uh, Rick, I believe, listens to an

episode of A Babble on 5 Podcast and

:

01:10:59,434 --> 01:11:01,625

leaves a review for that episode.

:

01:11:02,125 --> 01:11:04,934

And notes that that

we've moved up a point.

:

01:11:04,945 --> 01:11:08,215

It was a four star review previously

since we're reviewing Crusade.

:

01:11:08,580 --> 01:11:12,720

Laura: Oh, just, just the act of

reviewing Crusade was important to Rick.

:

01:11:12,775 --> 01:11:16,075

Xhafer: So my previous five

star review went to a podcast

:

01:11:16,075 --> 01:11:17,695

who were not reviewing Crusade.

:

01:11:18,635 --> 01:11:21,705

So I think because we're reviewing

Crusade, we're the best Babylon

:

01:11:21,715 --> 01:11:23,035

5 podcast now is what he's

:

01:11:23,235 --> 01:11:27,005

Laura: Hell yeah, I'm, I'm

agreeing with you, Rick.

:

01:11:28,555 --> 01:11:31,855

Xhafer: Where are the other

Crusade coverage podcasts at?

:

01:11:32,285 --> 01:11:33,005

Laura: Really?

:

01:11:33,745 --> 01:11:34,225

Yeah.

:

01:11:34,485 --> 01:11:37,395

Xhafer: doing the arms outstretched

come at me bro thing right now.

:

01:11:38,295 --> 01:11:39,765

Laura: Come at me, bro.

:

01:11:39,765 --> 01:11:42,434

What a delight.

:

01:11:42,434 --> 01:11:44,436

so Rick.

:

01:11:44,436 --> 01:11:45,326

Oh,

:

01:11:45,536 --> 01:11:46,146

Xhafer: thanks Rick.

:

01:11:46,843 --> 01:11:48,723

And also Scott Gray, 17.

:

01:11:48,723 --> 01:11:50,083

If you're listening, get well soon.

:

01:11:50,686 --> 01:11:52,546

Uh, Just throwing that out there.

:

01:11:52,546 --> 01:11:55,566

We haven't recorded since

everything in your life started.

:

01:11:55,716 --> 01:11:59,956

So we're hoping, wishing you the best over

there at gray 17 and all of our friends

:

01:11:59,956 --> 01:12:03,356

over that podcast while we're talking

about how they're not reviewing crusade,

:

01:12:03,656 --> 01:12:04,026

Laura: Oh.

:

01:12:05,646 --> 01:12:06,246

You know what?

:

01:12:06,426 --> 01:12:08,256

Scott has better things to do right now.

:

01:12:08,616 --> 01:12:09,156

Xhafer: It's true.

:

01:12:09,713 --> 01:12:10,103

All right.

:

01:12:10,143 --> 01:12:11,333

We'll see you next week, internet.

:

01:12:11,423 --> 01:12:12,730

Laura: Alright, bye!

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About the Podcast

Who Are You?
A Babylon 5 Watchcast
Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.