Episode 58

full
Published on:

28th Dec 2022

S3E7 - They're Not All Gems

Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.

Yet another mysterious ancient alien species takes control of Babylon 5 residents. Meanwhile, Corwin falls into the classic fake date with your superior officer trap in Babylon 5, Season 3 Episode 7: Exogenesis.

Transcript
Xhafer:

Hello, and welcome to who are you?

Xhafer:

A Babylon five, watch casts hosted by two former strangers.

Xhafer:

Now friends.

Xhafer:

Who are getting to know each other better while rewatching a favorite show from

Xhafer:

their childhood Babylon five Affair.

Laura:

And I'm Laura.

Xhafer:

And today, Laura, I get to ask you.

Xhafer:

Who are you?

Laura:

Well, I think I'm finally ready to say that I'm going to be a mom again.

Xhafer:

Yay.

Laura:

That's not really a surprise for you, but it is for the listener.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Laura:

Yeah, I've I'm about 20 weeks pregnant with a little girl.

Laura:

Well, at this time, the time that you were hearing it, I

Laura:

guess it'll be about 24 weeks.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

So we're having a little girl Children's seven,

Laura:

well, eight years apart now.

Laura:

So.

Laura:

It's an exciting, exciting development in.

Laura:

Our lives um, I've been a.

Laura:

A little reluctance.

Laura:

Talk about it because we did have a pregnancy loss earlier this year that

Laura:

you knew personally about Jeff hair,

Laura:

but.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

That's another thing we talked about on podcast for obvious

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

It's I know it can be tough for listeners out there have been through the same

Laura:

thing and it was obviously a weird and.

Laura:

Traumatic time.

Laura:

That took a lot of processing power.

Laura:

It is still taking processing power out of my.

Laura:

Daily life sometimes, but.

Xhafer:

Yeah, I can't imagine.

Xhafer:

So.

Laura:

It was the sort of loss that was discovered in the doctor's office.

Laura:

And so being pregnant again, and, you know, you see the

Laura:

doctor at least once a month.

Laura:

Uh, Especially when you're over a certain age.

Laura:

So going back to the doctor's office, this has been a weird experience.

Laura:

It's been a little bit for me to talk about it, but you know,

Laura:

things are progressing well.

Laura:

My doctor keeps saying every time I see her, that everything looks

Laura:

exactly like it's supposed to.

Laura:

And that everything seems just fine.

Laura:

We've gotten to the point that I can kind of feel her moving around

Laura:

a little bit throughout my days.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

And so that's very comforting.

Laura:

You know, people who've been through the same type of loss had told me

Laura:

that it would be, you know, you get little reminders throughout

Laura:

your day that everything's okay.

Laura:

And that would feel better.

Laura:

And it does.

Laura:

and you know, I thought at some point the listeners are going to find out because

Laura:

I'm going to have to take a little break.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

But you and I have discussed a little bit.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Well, we'll see how far ahead we can get, This episode comes out right after

Xhafer:

I get back from my trip to Europe.

Xhafer:

The day.

Xhafer:

This will actually, by the time when most of you are listening to this.

Xhafer:

Statistically speaking based off of our analytics.

Xhafer:

If you're a first day listener, you'll be listening to this wall.

Xhafer:

I am on my plane ride.

Xhafer:

Back to the United States.

Laura:

So that's a little fun.

Laura:

Thing for them to think about.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah, if you are a day of listener and you're listening to it in the first.

Xhafer:

12 hours of the day, that's going to be on my plane ride.

Xhafer:

So after I get back.

Xhafer:

That and we'll see how far ahead we can get, obviously.

Xhafer:

But.

Xhafer:

There might be a break or it might be.

Xhafer:

Ben has offered to come

Laura:

Sure.

Xhafer:

Graciously and guest host

Laura:

would love to have Ben for a little bit if we need it.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

And the due date is not till April, so hopefully.

Laura:

You know, we can get ourselves ahead of schedule, but we have gotten

Laura:

off schedule a bit before, so.

Laura:

Anything can

Xhafer:

we'll see how it goes.

Xhafer:

I am optimistic that we will both get a approximately six

Xhafer:

week break from podcasting.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

And, you know, At least podcasting is something I can do in my home.

Laura:

We can take.

Laura:

Breaks.

Laura:

Like if we need.

Laura:

It, if I need, if I'm needed.

Laura:

Elsewhere during an episode.

Laura:

And my husband actually works at a company that does give some pretty generous

Laura:

time off, even for, you know, paternity.

Xhafer:

paternity.

Xhafer:

That's great to hear.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So he is planning to take.

Laura:

A good chunk of time with me, at least, you know, at the beginning,

Laura:

when it's the kind of the hardest.

Laura:

And then we'll see what happens and, you know, if he goes back to work,

Laura:

he, he does work from home currently.

Laura:

So.

Laura:

He would still be in the house with me.

Laura:

I wouldn't be alone.

Xhafer:

That's good.

Laura:

that was the hardest thing I think with Owen, because when.

Laura:

You know, eight years ago, his company wasn't so turned on to

Laura:

the idea of like letting fathers bond with their children to.

Laura:

And when he had to go back after like one week and I was in the house all

Laura:

day, feeling like I couldn't go anywhere because I had a one week old baby.

Laura:

And I was by myself.

Laura:

I got some severe postpartum anxiety.

Laura:

I know that's a thing that happens to lots of women and we all should all

Laura:

feel normal if that happens to us.

Laura:

But.

Laura:

Yeah, I was like, you know, how much different it's going to be?

Laura:

Just knowing someone else's in the house with me.

Laura:

And I can talk to them, or if I'm feeling scared, I can

Laura:

just sit near another person.

Laura:

That's going to be huge.

Laura:

So I'm.

Laura:

I'm optimistic about the next year.

Laura:

So.

Xhafer:

That's great to hear.

Xhafer:

And I'm glad that things are going on.

Xhafer:

I actually have a note on my desk to ask you about a registry.

Laura:

Oh, yeah.

Xhafer:

list or something.

Laura:

Yeah, no, we haven't done that yet.

Laura:

It it's one of the things it's been eight years, so there's a lot, we kind of need.

Laura:

Um,

Xhafer:

Imagine.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

And we have, you know, a little girl on the way, so maybe I

Laura:

want some cute little girl clothes.

Laura:

You know, I know that gender is a construct and whatever, but

Laura:

sometimes the dresses are cute.

Laura:

So, you know, we hadn't thought about that, but I guess it's something, if

Laura:

we're over halfway now that we'll be thinking about, and I'll let you know.

Xhafer:

Okay, please do.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

But Speaking of hosting another thing inside your human body.

Laura:

We have an episode today.

Xhafer:

You told me you had the segway,

Laura:

Yeah, I did.

Xhafer:

you knew what you're going to talk about.

Xhafer:

. And even when you started talking, my brain did not.

Laura:

Didn't get there really.

Xhafer:

dots?

Xhafer:

Nope.

Xhafer:

Nope.

Xhafer:

Should've seen it coming.

Laura:

I hope it's not too gross.

Xhafer:

Well, this episode kind of is to be honest, we've got

Xhafer:

season three, episode seven.

Xhafer:

Exogenesis.

Xhafer:

We open on a . Freighter, arriving doing their best.

Xhafer:

Sean Connery impression.

Laura:

Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I said to my husband.

Laura:

I turned it, I said, did they get Sean Connery?

Xhafer:

They didn't, but there was a bunch on Usenet about

Xhafer:

it and it's just like, look.

Xhafer:

Sometimes voice actors.

Xhafer:

Just it's going to happen sometimes.

. Laura:

Sometimes they do a thing.

. Laura:

They make a choice.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

We see some unknowns watching on they're excited about the ship coming . In.

Laura:

I called these two, the creepy swingers.

Laura:

Cause it.

Laura:

That in one of these later scenes with them, I think it's before.

Laura:

Yeah, it, you know, we, we get some interlude where we go to

Laura:

Earhart's and Lieutenant junior grade Corwin is uh, getting promoted.

Laura:

We discuss why Marcus isn't there and that's because we have to bring up that

Laura:

Marcus is going to be in this episode.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

But then we cut back to those creepy swingers.

Laura:

Swingers and they're watching a guy.

Laura:

In this sort of like, Very CRI critically assessing his ability sort of way.

Laura:

As he's got a nasty parasite, that's.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I described the scene as cutting to the worst thing in your search history.

Xhafer:

This is what that would feel like if someone had just had the ability,

Xhafer:

like if you, if in the world where everyone has shitty superpowers, this

Xhafer:

person looks at you and knows the worst thing in your search history.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

That's really the look on their face.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So they're doing the thing where they're telling him it's all going to be okay.

Laura:

Soon.

Laura:

As this nasty.

Laura:

You know, it's a kind of a parasite that looks sort of like a spine.

Laura:

It's got real, like centipede, spinal energy.

Laura:

Uh, Starts merging into this guy.

Xhafer:

Yeah, . It's a lot.

Xhafer:

So our two swingers here.

Xhafer:

Did you look up the actors?

Laura:

I didn't.

Laura:

Did you, you must

Laura:

have.

Xhafer:

did.

Xhafer:

So we've got James Warwick is the gentlemen.

Xhafer:

And he is most famous for filling in for Liam Neeson's voice in video games.

Laura:

Oh,

Xhafer:

Is there a Liam Neeson character that you need voice for a video game

Xhafer:

that Liam, Neeson's not coming back for.

Xhafer:

Get you a James Warwick does great.

Laura:

so he must.

Laura:

Be in a lot of the star wars games.

Laura:

If there's a quiet gone, right?

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

That's that's most of his IMB DB acting credits.

Xhafer:

Are quite God, Jen.

Xhafer:

And then wildly small is his partner.

Xhafer:

Who's a real vet guy.

Xhafer:

She's been on all kinds of stuff.

Xhafer:

If there was a TV show that ran for five seasons in the late nineties

Xhafer:

to the mid two thousands, she was on it at some point as a bit character.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

All kinds of

Laura:

Give us some flavor.

Xhafer:

I didn't bother writing anything down because I did not

Xhafer:

recognize her from anything.

Xhafer:

Even though I have definitely watched a number of these

Laura:

Yeah..

Laura:

This is an episode where I didn't look up any of the guest stars.

Xhafer:

We've only got the three we've got these two and Duncan are

Xhafer:

the only people who are credited.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

And is his Duncan anything special?

Laura:

We're going to get to

Xhafer:

I didn't look him up.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So when we come back from the theme these two.

Laura:

I've been watching him and the, the.

Laura:

The man with the parasite.

Laura:

And.

Laura:

He didn't make it.

Xhafer:

No.

Laura:

But you know, all his screaming has apparently alerted security

Laura:

and so they all got a bug out.

Xhafer:

Hmm.

Xhafer:

I see what you did there.

Laura:

It was, it was a weak one, but, you know, They're not all gems.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

It's fine.

Xhafer:

Over in the hallways outside of CNC.

Xhafer:

Sheridan once Ivanova to check in on Corwin, his promotion makes it more

Xhafer:

likely he's going to find out what the hell is going on on this station.

Xhafer:

And they need to know if he can be trusted.

Laura:

Yeah, kind of a big deal.

Xhafer:

duties don't actually change at all.

Xhafer:

As far as I can tell.

Laura:

Yeah, I don't, I'm not sure why.

Laura:

Title promotion makes him more likely to find out.

Xhafer:

But it does apparently.

Xhafer:

And so it's avant of his job to find out what's going on with this guy.

Xhafer:

We cut over to Marcus, wondering a down below market

Xhafer:

where he meets up with Duncan.

Xhafer:

He buys a piece that he's selling.

Xhafer:

And makes a ton of literary references, which is a thing Marcus does.

Laura:

Absolutely.

Laura:

Absolutely.

Laura:

It's really funny.

Laura:

He makes one later that my husband's like you just made

Laura:

that reference earlier today.

Laura:

I'll point it out.

Xhafer:

If you watch carefully, by the way, when he's making this transaction,

Xhafer:

one of the extras actually take something off of his table and walks away with it.

Laura:

And I think that was like, Marcus is one of Marcus's whole points is he was

Laura:

like Duncan had fallen asleep, I think.

Laura:

And he's like, you need to watch your table better, sir.

Xhafer:

It's like, no, one's going to steal this stuff.

Xhafer:

It's not even worth buying.

Xhafer:

Let alone stealing.

Xhafer:

It's like.

Xhafer:

Well,

Laura:

Yeah, it's a nice touch to throw the extra in there like that.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Over in med lab meeting rooms.

Xhafer:

Franklin organizes his team of doctors and their assignments.

Xhafer:

And we say, learn of the mysterious death that he's going to have to

Xhafer:

figure out and about two scenes.

Xhafer:

Back in the down below bar, Marcus gets his news updates.

Xhafer:

And he's got one from ranger one.

Laura:

Ooh, mysterious ranger one.

Xhafer:

Well, . We know who this is.

Xhafer:

This he's been, he's been identified.

Xhafer:

We know.

Xhafer:

That this is

Laura:

Oh,

Laura:

That's right.

Laura:

That's right.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

We've, we've, we've found out that this is Sinclair now.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

We had.

Laura:

We had a video from him for Garibaldi.

Laura:

And Dylan, right.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah, that's right.

Laura:

It's just been a minute.

Xhafer:

And so he gets his news updates.

Xhafer:

They need to, Rangers are supposed to avoid earth space.

Xhafer:

Shadow vessels are gathering at the border of Centauri space.

Laura:

Hmm.

Xhafer:

And a mysterious package has left Mars and is set to

Xhafer:

arrive for the next episode.

Laura:

that's the one I'm curious about, like, we kind of had an idea

Laura:

from Mondo's glass conversation with.

Laura:

Somebody wasn't REFA was it?

Laura:

No.

Laura:

It was his last conversation with Morton that Morton has

Laura:

moved on to other Centauri.

Laura:

So we know that.

Laura:

This entire you're still involved with the shadows, right?

Laura:

We kind of . Have a good idea why Rangers would need to avoid her or don't we with

Laura:

all the uh, president Clark business.

Laura:

So.

Xhafer:

out more about that next week

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So the package from Mars, put a pin on that one.

Laura:

I want to know what that is.

Xhafer:

cut back over to MetaLab where Franklin begins his analysis.

Xhafer:

And he's just like relatively healthy trace amounts of dust and a handful of

Xhafer:

other drugs, but not enough to kill him.

Xhafer:

Can you, can you take a light trip of dust?

Xhafer:

I thought the whole point was that you couldn't.

Laura:

that was literally like last episode.

Laura:

But.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So.

Xhafer:

I don't know.

Xhafer:

But uh, he finds this fibrous thing wrapped around the spinal column.

Xhafer:

And in the HD upgrade, you can put together, this is the guy that got killed.

Xhafer:

Earlier in the show, it's something that I never put together on a previous watch.

Xhafer:

It's very obvious.

Xhafer:

Later in the episode, but at this point, The fidelity of the screen.

Xhafer:

The two images, the two faces.

Xhafer:

I never put it together, but it's clear as day.

Xhafer:

Maybe I'm just paying more attention to be perfectly

Laura:

No, some of those little upgrades are nice to have because with

Laura:

old screens it was sort of ambiguous.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So he found something wrapped around this guy spine.

Laura:

He's got to find out more about it.

Laura:

But in the meantime, Marcus is looking for one of his contacts

Laura:

who didn't show up at Storytime.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

He finds his missing guy.

Xhafer:

And he's working with the bug people.

Laura:

This is the scene is I, I think that the funniest thing about the

Laura:

scene is probably I set limitation.

Laura:

Because literally he and uh, his bar contact have gone looking for these guys.

Laura:

He finds them.

Laura:

They're all standing around creepily and say nothing to him.

Laura:

And he literally turns around and says to his contact.

Laura:

I don't like it.

Laura:

Something's wrong with him?

Xhafer:

Oh, he specifically says something has gotten into him.

Laura:

Oh, that's even

Laura:

better.

Xhafer:

thought was very funny.

Laura:

It is very funny.

Laura:

Yeah, but it's like, he literally just turned his back and said it

Laura:

right in front of the man, like.

Xhafer:

Oh, yeah.

Xhafer:

I think he's three feet away.

Laura:

Like, they're not going to stab you in the back now or something.

Laura:

This isn't bad at all.

Xhafer:

Right.

Laura:

I understand.

Laura:

It's probably, we didn't actually have enough space for Marcus to

Laura:

really walk away before he says that.

Laura:

But.

Laura:

Still very funny, very funny to think about.

Xhafer:

Yeah, Franklin peels, a lake living worm thing.

Xhafer:

Off of this dude's spine.

Laura:

so gross.

Xhafer:

And promptly burns the body to prevent further infant's hesitation

Xhafer:

when he finds that it's still alive.

Laura:

Oh,

Xhafer:

Wait, is that, is that, is that not what he does?

Laura:

No, actually, he pulls his mask down while he's in the same room.

Laura:

I think.

Laura:

There was one point while he's doing this, this examination that he

Laura:

pulls his mask down and I was like,

Laura:

Franklin No.

Laura:

You don't do that.

Xhafer:

you're going to eat this thing.

Xhafer:

Like, what are you going to do?

Laura:

Yeah, we all know about mass behavior.

Laura:

Now, guys, if we don't do that

Xhafer:

Duncan then gets got.

Xhafer:

down below.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So

Xhafer:

Part of me wondered at this point.

Xhafer:

If these worm folks would have been a lot more successful,

Xhafer:

if they hadn't accidentally targeted Marcus's entire spiring.

Laura:

Right.

Laura:

Well, I guess, okay.

Laura:

I can.

Laura:

Without jumping too far in the episode, I can kind of see why

Laura:

they did, I guess, but we'll, we'll talk about that when we get there.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

No, no.

Xhafer:

It makes knowing what's coming.

Xhafer:

Assuming that we believe it.

Xhafer:

Which I don't for the record.

Xhafer:

Hm.

Xhafer:

Staunch believer that it's all bullshit,

Xhafer:

but we'll get to it.

Xhafer:

After this Ivanova is just a fucking HR nightmare.

Laura:

Oh my God, this is so funny.

Laura:

I can't stop laughing.

Xhafer:

Like part of me feels bad for Ivanova for, for fault, like being able

Xhafer:

to make this misunderstanding, but really corporate is just like I guess I can't.

Laura:

I feel really bad for him.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I guess this has happened.

Xhafer:

Um,

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

going through his mind?

Xhafer:

This is, this is just fucking terrible.

Laura:

does so much with his face in this episode, that is just a delight.

Laura:

I've had during this actor.

Laura:

Yeah, so he Ivanova basically wants to talk.

Laura:

Two core went in private, right?

Laura:

Because she's got her mission from Sheridan that she needs to

Laura:

find out, you know, it was core.

Laura:

Wouldn't going to be cool.

Laura:

Or is he a narc?

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

But the way she sets it up, it sounds very much like she's

Laura:

inviting him for a private date.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

Just

Xhafer:

Yeah, just come back to my place for some coffee.

Xhafer:

It's real coffee.

Xhafer:

And it's like, oh, that sounds nice.

Xhafer:

Ah, Thank you.

Xhafer:

Thank you.

Laura:

It's a classic nineties set up, right.

Laura:

This is a thing.

Laura:

Thing that happens in every nineties TV show.

Laura:

They misunderstood date.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Marcus goes to Garibaldi, but then spit some classes to bullshit that

Xhafer:

future Jerry Doyle would be proud of.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

but Marcus is just like, dude.

Xhafer:

Fuck you.

Laura:

It's very seasonal.

Laura:

How Marcus replies, because as you and I are recording, we

Laura:

are in the Christmas season.

Laura:

And uh, his, are there no prisons, are there no work houses is a classic Dickens

Laura:

Christmas Carol line, which I actually used at somebody on the internet today.

Laura:

So I guess I'm very.

Xhafer:

The gas Mr.

Xhafer:

Morley or whatever the modes.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

I'm like.

Laura:

Very on brand for our podcast.

Laura:

I felt like I was at that moment.

Xhafer:

And that's two for this episode.

Xhafer:

Because we go back to the intro scene.

Xhafer:

He's giving Franklin shit for breaking everything down to biology and math.

Xhafer:

And of course, Jerry, Doyle's got a problem with science.

Laura:

Rest in peace, Jerry Doyle.

Xhafer:

Anyways Garibaldi tells them to make it Franklin's problem.

Xhafer:

In a stroke of dumb fucking lock.

Laura:

Yeah, Marcus is a very resourceful individual.

Laura:

He can take anything and be like, ah, that's my idea.

Laura:

So He goes.

Laura:

Straight to Franklin.

Xhafer:

this episode plays out so differently.

Xhafer:

If Garibaldi and Marcus get caught instead of Marcus and Franklin getting caught.

Laura:

Mm, for sure.

Laura:

There's there's a lot that happens different, like More antagonizing and

Laura:

then Garibaldi is also not a doctor.

Laura:

So.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

His usefulness runs out.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

After this.

Xhafer:

Corwin wanders around the Socolow.

Xhafer:

I'm assuming looking for a gimp suit.

Xhafer:

No judgment.

Xhafer:

Uh, Before he settles on buying some roses.

Xhafer:

From discount, John Fabro.

Xhafer:

He is clearly a very confused individual.

Laura:

They composed this scene very well because you know, Corwin is.

Laura:

I would say, you know, he's a taller man, obviously he's

Laura:

generally attractive, right?

Laura:

As an actor.

Laura:

And he's buying these flowers from the smaller flower seller, and it's just a

Laura:

very well composed hilarious conversation.

Laura:

Where the short king is telling him how he's got to do this.

Xhafer:

Right.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

I love it.

Xhafer:

just like.

Xhafer:

Oh, first date.

Xhafer:

Oh, roses.

Xhafer:

She aggressive.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Laura:

He's into aggressive.

Laura:

We can tell.

Xhafer:

After this Marcus and Franklin go to Duncan's quarters.

Xhafer:

And they find webbing and something that ate through the bulkheads.

Laura:

And Dr.

Laura:

Franklin touches it.

Laura:

Did you see him touch it?

Laura:

The webbing at least.

Xhafer:

I saw him touch it.

Xhafer:

What is this?

Xhafer:

Like?

Xhafer:

We

Xhafer:

know these bugs.

Xhafer:

Crawl into people.

Xhafer:

They can't like live outside of people.

Xhafer:

They're symbiotic, right?

Xhafer:

They're little trills.

Laura:

Why do we need webbing?

Xhafer:

What aid through these fucking holes?

Xhafer:

Did they D does it make you spit acid?

Xhafer:

Franklin not see that on his autopsy.

Xhafer:

Like, what did they like, what is this webbing and how did they

Xhafer:

make these holes in the hole?

Xhafer:

It doesn't make any through.

Xhafer:

They're huge too.

Xhafer:

They think they're people sized holes.

Laura:

Yeah, we walked through them.

Laura:

We stand up.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

And it's just like, how is if, if the little bugs are doing it without the

Xhafer:

people, how much fucking work is that?

Xhafer:

And.

Xhafer:

It's just.

Xhafer:

Why.

Xhafer:

Anyways there after touching all of the stuff that they shouldn't.

Xhafer:

They crawl in through the holes and immediately get captured.

Xhafer:

And have just like the most fruitless conversation.

Xhafer:

This is like, The internet.

Xhafer:

Worst first date material.

Laura:

Yes.

Xhafer:

How are you staring?

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

There's.

Laura:

A lot of staring from our extras and, and Guest stars in this episode.

Xhafer:

Not a lot of conversation.

Xhafer:

Can you even understand me staring.

Xhafer:

And then Marcus proves that he failed basic math, but he

Xhafer:

does have an, a plan to escape.

Laura:

He didn't fail.

Laura:

Real basic math.

Laura:

He's just a creative accountant.

Laura:

I get to make that joke.

Xhafer:

Yeah, I was going to say like, I'll have everyone

Laura:

I'm really bad.

Laura:

Um, well today aren't I.

Xhafer:

So Corwin brings the roses to Yvanova's quarters and she's all

Xhafer:

like the fuck immediately, right?

Xhafer:

Like who left those at the door?

Xhafer:

Because there's no way she's possibly read this situation is what Corwin has.

Xhafer:

You know, Like, why are you?

Xhafer:

You wouldn't bring me roses.

Xhafer:

Someone must've left them.

Xhafer:

And he's just like yeah, that's what happened.

Xhafer:

And then, and then she's all like, oh, what a romantic gesture?

Laura:

Hmm.

Xhafer:

He's so confused.

Laura:

Oh, you just feel really bad for him.

Laura:

This episode.

Xhafer:

The the second hand awkward was painful for me.

Laura:

Oh, yes.

Laura:

Yes.

Laura:

This is the kind of stuff that sometimes I have to get up and leave the room when

Laura:

I'm watching it on a television show.

Laura:

Cause it makes me feel so weird.

Xhafer:

After this Duncan talks to Marcus and we get a name for

Xhafer:

our spine worms, the VIN Drizzy.

Laura:

Yeah, that doesn't sound sinister at all.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

No.

Xhafer:

We get a bit about how the chemicals in that one guy's body.

Xhafer:

Are the reason why he died

Laura:

Yeah, too many, too many drugs.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

And then the, these.

Laura:

Parasites one, a little help.

Xhafer:

Yeah, they need Franklin's help to prevent more people from dying.

Xhafer:

As they merge them.

Laura:

Yeah, the kidnapping a doctor to have him.

Laura:

Help your people.

Laura:

Merged with people.

Laura:

And not die.

Laura:

Good luck.

Laura:

Good luck.

Xhafer:

So knowing what the aliens claim they are in about 15 minutes.

Xhafer:

Why don't you lead with that?

Laura:

I mean, you could even just go to med lab with that.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

Hey, we just got on the station.

Xhafer:

This is the thing that we're doing.

Xhafer:

We're not a Colts.

Xhafer:

We promise.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

. Yeah.

Laura:

I would argue that even though that approaches.

Laura:

It's weird.

Laura:

It's still better than like getting caught in down below.

Xhafer:

Yeah,

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laura:

At the same time, you know, Ivana, Vancor winter talking in her quarters.

Laura:

And she's apparently taken over Taka Seamus coffee plants.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

Re.

Laura:

We remember back in the pilot talk, talk Ashima, talked about

Laura:

how she appropriated some.

Laura:

The space in the hydroponics.

Laura:

For a little bit.

Laura:

Coffee Ivana has got that coffee.

Laura:

Now, and uh, she.

Laura:

He uses this as her segue to find out.

Laura:

Just how much of a company man Corwin is.

Xhafer:

Yup.

Xhafer:

And uh, she's really disappointed in his answers.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I felt he was kind of noncommittal.

Xhafer:

I think he's all like, well, mutiny seems like it's above my pay grade.

Laura:

Yes.

Laura:

Yes.

Laura:

I was just like, I don't think we learned anything about Corwin from this and I

Laura:

don't think she should feel like she did.

Xhafer:

Well, you know, she's all like, so you would report someone to

Xhafer:

earth if they were committing treason.

Laura:

And what does he suppose to say?

Xhafer:

Yeah, of course, commanding officer in the earth, military.

Xhafer:

That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Laura:

She went about this all wrong.

Laura:

That's that's how I see it, but I don't know how she does it better

Laura:

than this, but still she did not get anything good out of him.

Laura:

Right.

Xhafer:

She does go about it all wrong.

Xhafer:

And we, we find that out.

Xhafer:

In the best way.

Xhafer:

Later.

Xhafer:

When, when shit hits the fan.

Laura:

We still got a few episodes to go.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Marcus S Franklin about Ivanova when they're locked up.

Laura:

Yeah, because we've got to shoehorn that into.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Franklin starts with the advice.

Xhafer:

It's like, oh, well, you know, she's just, you just gotta let her warm up.

Xhafer:

She'll be your friend.

Xhafer:

And Marcus is all like, well, actually,

Xhafer:

then.

Xhafer:

Frank would gives us the line.

Xhafer:

You are so far from her type, you might as well be in different galaxies.

Xhafer:

Is this 2260s version of she's playing for the other team.

Laura:

That's the way I read it.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

That was definitely the way I read it too, was like, no, like

Xhafer:

I'm trying to tell you politely.

Xhafer:

That this isn't going to work for this reason.

Xhafer:

And I think Franklin isn't really aware of, of ANOVA to be perfectly

Xhafer:

honest, I think Ivanova knows about Talia to a certain regard.

Laura:

Huh.

Xhafer:

But they were very close, you know, that they were

Xhafer:

roommates, they were best friends.

Xhafer:

You know, the classics.

Xhafer:

That Talia was moving in after the first date.

Xhafer:

So.

Xhafer:

You know, some assumptions Franklin might be making there.

Xhafer:

To uh, to possibly dissuade Marcus too much.

Xhafer:

But at the same time, just like read the room, bro.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

I think that Franklin's dialogue here too, is sort of who the writer acknowledging

Laura:

that this is kind of weird to put these two plots together in this way.

Laura:

You know, we know that.

Laura:

For whatever reason.

Laura:

We're trying to ship Marcus toward Ivanova.

Laura:

And so Franklin at one point says like, this is ridiculous.

Laura:

Why are we talking about this right now?

Laura:

And I'm like, that's exactly how I feel.

Laura:

Franklin.

Xhafer:

So there's actually a little bit about that

Xhafer:

in the use net notes.

Xhafer:

So JMS started this episode.

Xhafer:

Got pulled away on something completely different for a week.

Xhafer:

And

Xhafer:

then came back to this episode.

Xhafer:

As he's like the first half is a lot stronger than the second half.

Xhafer:

The second half just got away from me.

Xhafer:

I wrote it without notes about where I was going.

Xhafer:

I didn't remember a ton of stuff and I just kind of had to make it work.

Laura:

Yup.

Xhafer:

And it shows uh, he's not quiet about his feelings, that this

Xhafer:

is the worst episode of season three.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

All

Laura:

right.

Xhafer:

he felt that after the script was done let alone after filming and

Xhafer:

everything, and it was put together, he was all like, this is clearly

Xhafer:

going to be the weakest episode.

Xhafer:

And it's because I didn't have time to go back and rewrite the whole episode.

Xhafer:

I had to write half the episode and push it through.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

I get it.

Laura:

I get it.

Laura:

My dude.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So the the bug people show back up.

Laura:

And they've got somebody who is sick.

Laura:

So they interrupted the Marcus Franklin conversation about Ivanova.

Laura:

To pull Franklin aside and tell him that he's got to help this

Laura:

person whose parasite is not.

Laura:

Working out right.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

And they're really shitty about it.

Xhafer:

They're like you are complicit, this person's death is on your hands and

Xhafer:

it's just like, did he put the worm on

Laura:

You're right.

Laura:

But they know how to pro-life play Franklin, because this is something

Laura:

that he will absolutely play right into.

Xhafer:

For sure.

Laura:

He feels a lot of

Xhafer:

time, Like, you know, this is happening, right?

Xhafer:

Like people who have certain things in their system.

Xhafer:

Like you could just be all like, Hey, so before we alien this dude can you

Xhafer:

scan his blood for drugs real quick?

Laura:

drug tests, like, look, we had the, I had tell me you

Laura:

don't have a drug test in 2260.

Xhafer:

Right.

Xhafer:

And it even plays into their whole thing because as we find out

Xhafer:

this is volunteers and you know, like people are agreeing to this.

Xhafer:

Check their system for drugs to see if they can even agree to this Right.

Xhafer:

now.

Laura:

Right.

Laura:

Are they even

Xhafer:

consent when you're inebriated, like.

Xhafer:

the fuck.

Laura:

Moving on.

Xhafer:

Oh, It's not complicated.

Xhafer:

Just fucking.

Xhafer:

Anyways Marcus managed to bring his plan to fruition.

Xhafer:

He takes out one guard with deception.

Xhafer:

He's all like, oh, that scanner just accidentally turn it on.

Xhafer:

Knock yourself out.

Laura:

Yeah, this is a very good ruse.

Laura:

I love this ruse.

Xhafer:

It was an excellent . Ruse.

Xhafer:

And then the other one, he just kind of like grabs through the bars.

Xhafer:

Because the cell was never locked or shot.

Xhafer:

I'm just kinda like, ah, I gotcha.

Xhafer:

And just opens it up and walks out.

Laura:

And like kicks him in the

Xhafer:

that was a filming mistake.

Xhafer:

. And they just ran with it.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Cause he made it look good and all happens fast, you know?

Laura:

So you're like, man, just, just go with it.

Laura:

Do it

Laura:

live?

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Anyways Marcus is like a grandparent with a laptop when

Xhafer:

trying to use Franklins link.

Xhafer:

He eventually just gives up and runs out.

Xhafer:

Marcus takes out the other guard.

Xhafer:

As Ivanova gets to Garibaldi, you'd be like, Hey, someone who's not,

Xhafer:

Franklin was trying to use his link.

Xhafer:

That's fucking weird.

Xhafer:

Can you go here?

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

A good feature considering it doesn't let you call 9 1 1.

Laura:

If you're not the person who owns the link, which I even, my iPhone

Laura:

will let my son call 9 1 1, you know?

Xhafer:

Yeah, for sure.

Xhafer:

Um, Marcus goes duel pistols.

Xhafer:

Takes out all the lights and frees Frankland, and then it's like, oh

Xhafer:

wait, no, this is all on the up and up.

Xhafer:

Everyone volunteered for this.

Xhafer:

Like now that you're shooting at

Xhafer:

us, we'll tell you what's going on.

Xhafer:

Like.

Xhafer:

Security comes down and begins their search and we

Xhafer:

get some real trill cult shit.

Xhafer:

About what is going on here.

Xhafer:

They are the purveyors of history.

Xhafer:

Everyone volunteered for this to give their life purpose.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

But for some reason, we do this on the DL.

Laura:

Like we're fucking puppet masters.

. Xhafer:

Yeah.

. Xhafer:

Which well that if this, if, if they were correct, I can understand that reasoning.

. Xhafer:

For the exact cause Garibaldi calls bullshit on that later.

. Xhafer:

And Ivanova tells them well, yeah, it's because if you had someone who wanted to

. Xhafer:

rewrite history, And there was a galaxy known wide definitive source of history.

. Xhafer:

What are you going to do to that source?

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

But it's just, it's just reeks of bullshit.

Xhafer:

The whole thing, like this is the way they go about stuff.

Xhafer:

Like, even if you're trying to keep it on the down low, you can . Show up to

Xhafer:

the station and be like, Hey, this thing, and then fuck off into space again.

Xhafer:

You know, get your volunteers.

Xhafer:

But Dunkin's worm leaves him to prove the point.

Xhafer:

But this doesn't fucking sell me.

Xhafer:

Like, this is just as unbelievable as before you don't know

Xhafer:

how these worms reproduce.

Xhafer:

You don't know what they left in the brain.

Xhafer:

This could be a second worm.

Xhafer:

This, you know, a little baby worm.

Xhafer:

This could be, they could have left . A chunk of the thing in the brain.

Xhafer:

Duncan could be effectively dead.

Xhafer:

And just as just like a chicken running around with his head cut off in a

Xhafer:

significantly more complicated form.

Laura:

Yeah, he, they could have just at least reprogrammed his brain and now

Laura:

he believes the bullshit, even though.

Laura:

The thing is not in him anymore, so yeah.

Laura:

It's very weak.

Xhafer:

Doug and tells them what they want to hear.

Xhafer:

Franklin isn't sold, but is accepting.

Xhafer:

He's all like we're going to have to do.

Xhafer:

You know, like genetic verification of this then do less.

Xhafer:

Like he tries to, he unsuccessfully technobabble his way into it.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

And

Xhafer:

to talking . Himself

Xhafer:

into it.

Laura:

He's like.

Laura:

Let's all go to med lab and make this official basically.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Have any of you seen a soul by the way, asking for a friend?

Xhafer:

And so, yeah, they it's, apparently he just wants to keep it on the up and up.

Xhafer:

When, I mean, he's like, okay, well, if you're going to

Xhafer:

get volunteers, then I need.

Xhafer:

Written consent from them before you fucking take their brain over

Xhafer:

which good call.

Xhafer:

So we, we cut over to a space.

Xhafer:

TSA Duncan is now leaving.

Xhafer:

Babylon five.

Xhafer:

He's reminiscing about his warm semester in Barcelona.

Xhafer:

And wants to recapture that feeling.

. Laura:

Yeah.

. Laura:

Best of luck Dunkin.

. Laura:

He is, he does seem to be.

. Laura:

Be a sweet old man and you know, I'm very glad that he survived the whole thing.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

Because it sort of implied as the worm believes that like he's not, he's

Laura:

not healthy enough to take another worm.

Laura:

You think he might be actively dying when that

Xhafer:

I thought he, yeah.

Xhafer:

I thought he was good.

Xhafer:

I didn't remember the scene of him leaving.

Xhafer:

I thought he was done.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

We cut over to your Hertz and Ivanova is led to believe that

Xhafer:

Marcus left the roses incidentally.

Xhafer:

Returned them to Marcus.

Xhafer:

Uh, In her mind and he's delighted to have been given roses.

Laura:

Yeah, he's just delighted to have these.

Laura:

And he's like, oh, maybe this will work out.

Xhafer:

Yeah, Alison.

Xhafer:

Synthetic roses.

Xhafer:

Nice.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

And

Xhafer:

that's the episode.

Xhafer:

All right, Laura, what'd you think of this one?

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

I can't remember.

Laura:

Have we rated something?

Laura:

Babble on one before.

Laura:

I was just thinking that as we were

Xhafer:

I don't.

Xhafer:

I don't.

Xhafer:

know we've done a Babylon one.

Xhafer:

I think I did half of a Babylon for episode.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yeah, no once.

Xhafer:

Fair.

Laura:

Yeah, I I've got to give this one, a one.

Laura:

I can't even give it to like, and I'm glad that JMS is aware of its faults

Laura:

because it's not strung together.

Laura:

Well,

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I, I give it a two.

Xhafer:

And that, that, that score of two is entirely pity for Corwin and

Xhafer:

empathizing and secondhand embarrassment.

Xhafer:

And just.

Xhafer:

and that's it.

Xhafer:

That's, that's the only thing.

Xhafer:

It's it's a gag that isn't, I mean, it's, it's a terrible gack.

Xhafer:

Um, How it comes about and everything.

Xhafer:

but the way it wraps up is genuinely very funny.

Xhafer:

The comedy of errors.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

It . Is very funny.

Laura:

I do enjoy.

Laura:

Marcus in this episode.

Laura:

Like, even though the plots hanging together very loosely, Jason Carter

Laura:

is delivery on all of his, like literary jokes and his just like

Laura:

delight at the roses at the end.

Laura:

I'm like, yeah, he is, he is funny and he is good.

Laura:

And I like him in this episode.

Xhafer:

he's good in this episode,

Laura:

The

Laura:

rest of

Xhafer:

bit with him in the, the.

Xhafer:

Collapsible rod, the collapsible staff and the dude hitting himself.

Xhafer:

That was fun.

Xhafer:

There was a couple of moments, but this is a two out of five for me.

Xhafer:

It's just.

Xhafer:

It is not good.

Xhafer:

Television, and it is definitely not good.

Xhafer:

Babylon five.

Laura:

But Hey, if JMS feels, this is the weakest one, then we're

Laura:

theoretically over the hump, right?

Laura:

This is.

Laura:

Oh, it's only going up from here in season three.

Laura:

And this wasn't the worst.

Laura:

I mean, I gave it a one, but it, it could have been.

Laura:

You know, there couldn't have been the delightful things that were in it.

Laura:

So.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

This episode could have been worse.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So it's going to go up from here and I look forward to what's coming next week.

Xhafer:

Which is season three, episode eight messages from earth.

Xhafer:

. Sheridan discovers a terrifying new Alliance between the

Xhafer:

shadows and another race.

Laura:

Yeah, very short description on this one.

Xhafer:

Incredibly short description to the point where I didn't remember

Xhafer:

what happened in this episode.

Xhafer:

And had to Google it.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

I have an idea, but I will see if I'm right next time.

Xhafer:

before we get there, let's make sure to say thank you.

Xhafer:

To Jeremy Siegel for our lovely theme music, you can find more of

Xhafer:

Jeremy's work at Jeremy Siegel.

Xhafer:

40 two.bandcamp.com.

Laura:

And thank you to angry deck time machine on Instagram

Laura:

for our podcast artwork.

Xhafer:

Thank you everyone.

Xhafer:

Who's taken the time to review our podcast and leave us a leave us those reviews.

Xhafer:

We really appreciate that.

Xhafer:

They're very kind words that keep us going.

Xhafer:

Really, it's really nice to hear.

Xhafer:

Thank you so much.

Xhafer:

And joined the conversation.

Xhafer:

Who are you?

Xhafer:

At gmail.com.

Xhafer:

Send us an email.

Xhafer:

We'll do read your email on our next mailbag segment.

Xhafer:

Go ahead and join our discord as well.

Xhafer:

You can get the link all over.

Xhafer:

If you can't find it, email us, we'll get it to you and

Xhafer:

you can interact with us there.

Xhafer:

Definitely not on Twitter.

Laura:

Yeah, we're not good at Twitter.

Laura:

All the other

Laura:

stuff aside.

Xhafer:

I was never good at Twitter.

Xhafer:

And then I had to on install it from my phone because I was

Xhafer:

getting actively bombarded by bots.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Then just false information constantly.

Xhafer:

It's just like, I'm just on installing this.

Xhafer:

So.

Xhafer:

But anyways besides fuck Twitter.

Xhafer:

Everyone else have a great week.

Xhafer:

We'll see you next week.

Xhafer:

Internet take care.

Laura:

All right.

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About the Podcast

Who Are You?
A Babylon 5 Watchcast
Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.