Episode 81

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Published on:

21st Jun 2023

S4E5 - Big Suffering Dick Energy

Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.

Laura and Xhafer discuss the smaller things that make them who they are. Meanwhile, Londo and Vir finally move against Emperor Cartagia while the B5 crew prepares for a final showdown with the Vorlons and Shadows on Babylon 5 - Season 4 Episode 5: The Long Night

Transcript
Laura:

Hello and welcome to Who Are You?

Laura:

It's a Babylon five watch cast by a couple of former strangers who are now

Laura:

friends who are continuing to get to know each other over one of their favorite

Laura:

shows from their childhood, Babylon.

Laura:

Five.

Laura:

I'm Laura,

Xhafer:

And I'm Jair.

Laura:

and today Jaire has a game for us.

Xhafer:

Yeah, a new game we were talking about.

Xhafer:

Not that we're out of things to talk about and getting to know each other, but we're

Xhafer:

out of interesting things about ourselves.

Xhafer:

So the who are you bit while a lot of fun is kind of run its course,

Xhafer:

we feel and when, when I say that, I mean, I literally can't think

Xhafer:

of anything else to talk about.

Laura:

Yeah, I think we could argue that it outlived itself a

Laura:

few who are you episodes back, but

Xhafer:

That's fine.

Xhafer:

That's why we make our guest host do it these days to keep the bid alive.

Xhafer:

But between us, we've kind of ran that gamut.

Xhafer:

We've talked about a lot of the big stuff in our lives and as people, but we

Xhafer:

haven't talked a lot of the small stuff.

Xhafer:

So the idea is when we do our season recap episodes, we do our, the one

Xhafer:

segment where we're like, what is the one best guest star from this season?

Xhafer:

And stuff.

Xhafer:

Uh, this is a variation of that aimed at each other.

Xhafer:

So we're each gonna ask each other questions and then all the one themed.

Xhafer:

Uh, If you haven't heard that segment before because you skip our season

Xhafer:

recap episode, no shame you'll.

Xhafer:

You'll follow on quick and uh, yeah, and then we'll answer ourselves.

Xhafer:

And we're just gonna go through that process and get to know each

Xhafer:

other a little bit better on a smaller scale than we usually do.

Laura:

Yeah,

Xhafer:

So I'll start us off here.

Xhafer:

Laura.

Xhafer:

What is the one flavor of ice cream you could eat for the rest of your life?

Laura:

This is tough because there are so many wonderful

Laura:

flavors of ice cream, right.

Laura:

And here in the Oklahoma area, and I think there's a few like parts of Texas

Laura:

and and Arkansas that have them too.

Laura:

We have Brahms um, it's a like fast food chain, but it's a ice cream store.

Laura:

And the thing that About Brahms that they say they won't put any stores

Laura:

that are out of a day's drive from the dairy farm, like from the Brahms

Laura:

dairy farm, so that everything is the freshest it could possibly be.

Laura:

Right?

Laura:

So Brahms is some of the best ice cream around in Oklahoma.

Laura:

If I had to choose one flavor of ice cream that I would eat for the rest

Laura:

of my life, it would probably be Brahms' mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Xhafer:

I love mint chocolate chip.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

If I am getting a untrusted brand of ice cream for whatever reason,

Xhafer:

Or I'm stuck to generic choices.

Xhafer:

Mint chocolate chip is always my go-to because even bad

Xhafer:

mint chocolate chip is good.

Laura:

And then you can kind of tell yourself like, okay, if this is their

Laura:

mint chocolate chip, I don't know if I want to try the rest of it, you know?

Laura:

Well, what, what flavor of ice cream would you eat for the rest of your life?

Xhafer:

I have been on a, Peaches and cream kick lately.

Laura:

Oh, interesting.

Xhafer:

But it's gotta be high quality.

Xhafer:

Like there's a couple dairies that have ice creams out in my area.

Xhafer:

Jenny's is probably the best.

Xhafer:

If I had to pick one, Jenny's is great.

Xhafer:

They've got a strawberry.

Xhafer:

That's fantastic as well.

Xhafer:

If I'm going with a fruit ice cream, it's definitely like I need

Xhafer:

the higher quality you can tell.

Xhafer:

So it's so different.

Xhafer:

It's so much better.

Xhafer:

But low key, Kroger private label has a Mexican hot chocolate

Laura:

Oh

Xhafer:

cream right now.

Xhafer:

That is fire.

Xhafer:

It is fantastic.

Laura:

That sounds amazing.

Laura:

We don't have Kroger down here.

Laura:

We have like Kroger delivery and that's it.

Xhafer:

Yeah, they've, they're national though.

Xhafer:

They're just about everywhere.

Xhafer:

They've, they're another name out.

Xhafer:

Is it Wegmans?

Xhafer:

Wegmans or something.

Laura:

I think that's, that sounds like something I saw in Louisiana, but they're

Laura:

not in Oklahoma that I know about.

Xhafer:

All right.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

is one of like eight states I haven't been in,

Laura:

Yeah, someday we'll get you here

Xhafer:

yeah,

Laura:

probably just for this podcast, but

Xhafer:

more than likely it'll be a visit.

Xhafer:

It'll be fun.

Laura:

yeah, no, that sounds great.

Laura:

I would totally eat the hell outta some Mexican hot chocolate ice cream.

Xhafer:

Is real good.

Laura:

Okay, so Jafer mine, I'll have a theme to them my the one questions

Laura:

and that is Looking for comfort and ease as I'm still stuck at home

Xhafer:

Yes.

Laura:

in this postpartum time.

Laura:

So I would like to know what is the one best comfort snack.

Xhafer:

I, in the last two or three months have dramatically

Xhafer:

changed my opinion on this.

Laura:

Wow.

Laura:

Well, that's the other thing I wanted to say.

Laura:

These can all just be for right now.

Laura:

They don't have to be like your one opinion that holds

Laura:

true through all of time.

Xhafer:

I used to not give a shit about my snack food, like if I'm eating a snack,

Xhafer:

it's because I want something quick, and it was very much a matter of convenience.

Xhafer:

And so I'd just grab some like saltines or something, just like

Xhafer:

some crackers or beef jerky or whatever, whatever I had around right.

Xhafer:

Some m and ms doesn't matter, but about.

Xhafer:

And I'm gonna say before I get to this, I have never been

Xhafer:

impressed by Cheez-Its in my life.

Xhafer:

They were convenient, but I tried the extra toasty Cheez-Its for the

Xhafer:

first time a couple of months ago, and it has been a revelation for me.

Xhafer:

They are

Laura:

know if I've seen extra toasty.

Xhafer:

Aldi has them as well.

Xhafer:

They have a variant that's like extra toasted.

Xhafer:

100%.

Xhafer:

Like, you're like, oh, they're just extra toasted crack, whatever, right?

Xhafer:

They're already crackers.

Xhafer:

What's trust?

Xhafer:

They've got a little bit of like burnt, crisp to 'em, but they

Xhafer:

don't taste char like it's perfect.

Xhafer:

They're great.

Xhafer:

Extra toasted, Cheez-its number one snack hands down right now.

Xhafer:

It's to the point where I have to, I'm, I need to slow down.

Xhafer:

It's becoming problematic.

Laura:

I'm gonna have to find some of those because the boys have

Laura:

been going hard on Cheez-Its lately they've gotten like the white

Laura:

cheddar Cheez-it and like the.

Laura:

The different flavors and the puffed and the snapped and all the other things,

Laura:

but I haven't seen the extra toasted yet, so I'll have to get some of those.

Xhafer:

Give it a go.

Xhafer:

Let me know how it goes over with the

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

what's the one book you just keep going back and rereading Laura?

Laura:

I mean, I think I've already said it on the podcast.

Laura:

The one book I go back and reread all the time, at least once a year.

Laura:

Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions.

Xhafer:

Yeah, I think I do think we've actually talked about that.

Laura:

Yeah, if I had to pick another one, cuz there are, there are other

Laura:

books out there that I reread just not as much as Breakfast of Champions.

Laura:

There's a, a young adult series this by Tamara Pierce.

Laura:

It's the Song of the Lioness, and I read it like when I was the, the tween,

Laura:

you know, like 12, maybe 12 or 13.

Laura:

And it's one of those young adult series that you can still come

Laura:

back and read it as an adult.

Laura:

And it's not weird.

Laura:

It's not totally weird.

Laura:

It's one of those, you know, kind of like girl power stories that are more common

Laura:

now, but, you know, it was a little more novel back in the nineties where it's

Laura:

like a, a girl decides that she doesn't wanna go join the convent or whatever

Laura:

and become a lady, and so she goes and becomes a knight by hiding her gender

Laura:

and going to night school, basically.

Xhafer:

On style.

Xhafer:

I dig it.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Mulan style.

Laura:

very good series four books.

Laura:

I've read them in book form.

Laura:

Sometimes I just get them from the library in audio book form.

Laura:

It's just a story that never gets old for me.

Laura:

what about you?

Xhafer:

I think when you brought up Vonnegut, I

Xhafer:

mentioned the name of the wind.

Xhafer:

That's a book that I make a point of going back and rereading every couple of years.

Laura:

Author on that?

Xhafer:

Patrick Roth Ross.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

It theoretically will be a TV show produced by Linton

Xhafer:

Manuel Miranda at some point.

Laura:

Ooh, that'll be a good show.

Xhafer:

the main character is a musician, so it kind of fits.

Xhafer:

It's not a musical at all.

Xhafer:

It's magical fantasy school stuff.

Xhafer:

But.

Xhafer:

That's when I go back to a lot.

Xhafer:

It's got a very strong Mary Sue vibe, but also it's like told

Xhafer:

through unreliable narrator.

Xhafer:

So you never really know exactly how real the Mary suing is.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

Which is my defensive.

Xhafer:

It is like, it is a dude who's boasting about himself, but it's

Xhafer:

the main character's a bard.

Xhafer:

So of course he's boasting about himself.

Xhafer:

You know, he introduces himself with this like ridiculous set of titles

Xhafer:

and accomplishments and stuff.

Xhafer:

You know, it's on the back jacket of the book, and it's just like,

Xhafer:

you never really trust him though.

Xhafer:

And so, I think most of it's bullshit and the, like, handful of things we

Xhafer:

found out, like how it actually happened, how he got the title is a lot more like

Xhafer:

happenstance or things he was around for.

Xhafer:

Not necessarily like, oh, I'm the king killer.

Xhafer:

I killed this dude, you know, this stuff.

Xhafer:

So I like it a lot and it reads very melodically, like just, it's, it's not

Xhafer:

written in prose, but it might as well be.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

So that's when I go back to a ton.

Xhafer:

But I think I've already said all that on pod.

Xhafer:

So I'm gonna pick a different book, which is Catch 22.

Xhafer:

I know it's kind of a cliche, favorite book.

Laura:

It okay?

Laura:

I've

Xhafer:

I don't, I don't know.

Xhafer:

It's one I read in high school.

Xhafer:

I don't know if everyone had to read it in high school or if I picked it out.

Xhafer:

But of every book that I've reread multiple times, It's one

Xhafer:

that I continually find something new that's hilarious in that I

Xhafer:

missed completely the first time.

Laura:

Well, what is, speaking of media, the one best binge show right now?

Laura:

What?

Laura:

What could you binge right now?

Xhafer:

So I was just kind of like on a gap between shows for a couple of

Xhafer:

weeks because Ted Lasso just wrapped up.

Xhafer:

Something succession just wrapped up.

Xhafer:

Barry just wrapped up a handful of things that I was watching in some variety.

Xhafer:

All kind of ended around the same time.

Xhafer:

And then I had a couple of weeks before Strange New Worlds just started.

Xhafer:

So in that couple week break in between having regular TV and having nothing I've

Xhafer:

been watching I guess binge would be.

Xhafer:

Ted Lasso, I would say is a good binge show.

Xhafer:

Lower Decks has been a rewatch continually.

Xhafer:

I Rewatched Strange New Worlds over the last month and a half to prep for

Xhafer:

the new season, which just dropped.

Xhafer:

I dunno if you've seen the first episode yet.

Xhafer:

It was good.

Laura:

Now that Aaron's back at work and he's back in the office too, so I

Laura:

can't even like show, put out a show in the background for him or something.

Laura:

I've, I've been wanting to watch a show that like I could watch but

Laura:

he wouldn't be upset that I was watching it without him, you know?

Xhafer:

I, I understand.

Laura:

yeah.

Laura:

Ted Lasso might be one I'll pick up too.

Laura:

Cuz I don't know that he'll have any feelings towards that.

Laura:

But I've been watching Call the Midwife on Netflix.

Laura:

It's a British show, bbc.

Xhafer:

I feel like this is one.

Xhafer:

That I've heard either Ben or his wife Glo talk about,

Laura:

yeah, I, I've heard a lot of people talk about it and loved

Laura:

it, and I was like, I don't know.

Laura:

Is this the best show for me to be watching in kind of

Laura:

a tenuous postpartum state?

Laura:

Like, I feel like there's gonna be bad things that happen.

Laura:

And there are, you know, it's about midwives in the 1950s

Laura:

and the east end of London.

Laura:

So in a poor area.

Laura:

There's some tough stuff that happens, but I haven't felt like it

Laura:

was bad for my mental health yet.

Laura:

I feel like it's actually kind of comforting.

Laura:

So I'm, there's a, it's a long running British show, you know, they

Laura:

only do like maximum 10 episodes in a series, usually on these things.

Laura:

There's like 12 series of this show,

Xhafer:

Okay.

Xhafer:

That's a lot.

Xhafer:

Yeah,

Laura:

over a hundred episodes, so I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm making

Laura:

my way through that right now.

Laura:

Find myself dropping British words into conversations just because I've

Laura:

been absorbing too many of them.

Xhafer:

Oh, and I should probably, before we move on to the next question real

Xhafer:

quick, shout out Breaking Bad for being a great show to watch seven episodes of

Xhafer:

Check out last time on my new podcast.

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

Well, Laura, my next question for you.

Laura:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

could have dinner with one celebrity, who would it be and why?

Laura:

This is fun.

Laura:

It's very hard to pick just one.

Laura:

I'm going to say, and this is totally silly, that I would want to have dinner

Laura:

with Robert Picardo because I feel like he would be down to do some duets

Laura:

afterwards, and I would just be really delighted to get to duet with the doctor.

Xhafer:

Okay.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

that's my choice.

Xhafer:

Good call.

Xhafer:

I recently started following Anson Mount on Instagram

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

he's not making strange new worlds, he's been getting into pottery

Xhafer:

and making his own pottery and stuff,

Laura:

That's cute.

Xhafer:

and I would've loved to just like sit down with him, have him like

Xhafer:

wear a Star Trek t-shirt, have him expect something, and then just ask him

Xhafer:

about his pottery and let him nerd out about that for like an hour over dinner.

Xhafer:

I feel like that would be a really fun experience.

Laura:

I love that we both really want Trek people.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

That's it.

Laura:

That's all.

Laura:

Give us Trek.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

So rapid fire, tell me what is the one best kitchen tool

Laura:

that's making your life easier?

Laura:

I need my life to be easier.

Xhafer:

blender.

Xhafer:

They're so

Xhafer:

nice.

Xhafer:

They're so good for making sauces

Laura:

yeah.

Laura:

I'm using my electric kettle a lot cuz I'm having a lot of cups of tea with my snacks

Xhafer:

I live off my electric kettle.

Laura:

yeah, I just need a cup of tea with my snacks right now.

Laura:

Just trying to maximize that

Laura:

comfort.

Laura:

Maybe I'm just absorbing too much.

Laura:

Call the midwife.

Laura:

But yeah, I, I definitely am using my electric kettle,

Xhafer:

All right.

Xhafer:

Well, we actually have Babylon five to talk about.

Laura:

Yeah, and like a big episode of Babylon five to talk

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

We've got season four, episode five.

Xhafer:

The long night.

Laura:

I actually had to Google this, sorry to interrupt, but I was like,

Laura:

I could have sworn that it was the long night of Sari Prime was the name,

Laura:

but it's not

Xhafer:

So, yeah, that is a season five episode and I think it's like the very

Xhafer:

long night of Lando Malari or something

Laura:

no, there.

Laura:

There's also a book that is the Long Night of Centara Prime in the Wado series.

Xhafer:

The long Night itself, I believe this is the episode

Xhafer:

that ends with Tennyson, right?

Xhafer:

Am I remembering that

Laura:

I know that we get the Tennyson

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Charge of the Lip Brigade.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

It's a line from that.

Xhafer:

So it's, it's, it's another line from the poem that's quoted at the end.

Xhafer:

But yeah.

Xhafer:

This is a big episode.

Xhafer:

So is the next one, they're kind of, they go hand in hand and I know we both.

Xhafer:

Watched both already, so I'm sorry if we get anything next messed up.

Xhafer:

Our recording schedule's necessitating us to do this this time.

Xhafer:

But we start at B five.

Xhafer:

The fleet is gathering and it's almost time for the big attack.

Xhafer:

We learned.

Xhafer:

The Shadow Planet Killer is now also running around.

Xhafer:

They have a thing and we learn more about it later in the episode, but they have.

Xhafer:

Also escalated to Open Combat on vlan, allied Worlds.

Laura:

Yeah, we get a cool sequence of like the ships strafing some.

Laura:

Lon outpost of some kind.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

So the shadows are attacking anyone who's lied with the VLANs.

Xhafer:

The VLANs are attacking anyone who's allied with the shadows, but they

Xhafer:

are still not attacking each other.

Laura:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

Londo meets with a shadow council on Narn.

Xhafer:

We had talked about this last episode about more people wanting to be

Xhafer:

involved in the plot to kill cartage.

Laura:

Apparently there are some

Xhafer:

We get a recap of the entire Scent Prime plot.

Xhafer:

Thus far cartage must die and the shadow sh vessels must be removed

Xhafer:

in order to save scent Prime from the oncoming rolon planet killer.

Laura:

So at this point, it looks like we have two big death

Laura:

weapons, right from the LANs.

Laura:

We have the LANs death star.

Laura:

And then we have the shadows like Death Cloud, right?

Laura:

Which would you choose if you have to be destroyed by something?

Laura:

Do you want Death Star or Death Cloud?

Xhafer:

Well, we know how they both work,

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

so the VLAN is a like giant beam that covers the planet

Xhafer:

and kills everything on it.

Xhafer:

That

Laura:

Uhhuh

Xhafer:

quick, the shadows.

Xhafer:

Surround a planet in nukes that burrow into the core and then

Xhafer:

explode, causing the planet to break apart, that seems less quick.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah,

Xhafer:

choose between those two, like either option, like that's

Xhafer:

what those, those are the choices I'm probably gonna opt for.

Xhafer:

The one that doesn't involve a.

Xhafer:

Volcanoes and hunks of my planet floating in space as air slowly dissipates.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

The air is gonna get vaporized by the death star, whereas it's

Laura:

going to kind of break up when you break up the atmosphere with the

Laura:

planet, with the death cloud, right?

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

As the planet starts to drift apart in pieces in space, then you know, Air's

Xhafer:

only around the planet because of gravity.

Xhafer:

You know, it's a whole mess.

Xhafer:

So

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Okay.

Laura:

I, I take that.

Laura:

Let's go nice and quick

Xhafer:

preferably if I have to have to choose.

Xhafer:

Anyways, after theme, Ivana and Sheridan discussed the status of the

Xhafer:

fleet Sheridan asked Siva to go look for more allies before the battle.

Xhafer:

Again, she is not optimistic.

Xhafer:

But Lorianne is gonna help this time, and he's all like, no.

Xhafer:

He knows where they're all at.

Xhafer:

He'll, he'll just take you there.

Xhafer:

He'll be fine.

Laura:

Mm-hmm.

Laura:

And presumably Lori like knows these guys, right?

Laura:

So he could probably talk to them, whereas they might not want to talk to Ivanova.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

You showed up in a Roan looking ass ship.

Xhafer:

I'm not interested.

Xhafer:

I don't blame them.

Laura:

Yeah, Ivana has some big feels though.

Laura:

She remembers that her mother, sort of as she was fading away, wanted

Laura:

to spend some time with her, but then told her like, go next door.

Laura:

I'll come get you later.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

And uh, she went away.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Big feels.

Laura:

she died by suicide at that time, so she doesn't really

Laura:

want Sheridan to go without her

Xhafer:

Exactly.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

in this circumstance.

Xhafer:

She needs to, she needs him to not protect her and let

Xhafer:

her become the goddess of death.

Xhafer:

She knows she can become,

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

This conversation has some real Ivan gonna die vibes.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

The way they send off and everything.

Xhafer:

This definitely felt like foreshadowing in a very interesting way because

Xhafer:

if this conversation had happened in a movie, Ivanova would be

Xhafer:

dead at the end of that movie.

Xhafer:

But

Xhafer:

this is Babylon five, so

Laura:

Just put a pin in it maybe?

Xhafer:

Over on Narn Cartage remarks, how similar the sets are.

Xhafer:

Good work crew,

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Cartage tells Zalando that he'll be his high priest and the first

Xhafer:

in his temple, and he's not going to be on Centura Prime when it blows up.

Xhafer:

Oh.

Laura:

Yeah, big reveal.

Laura:

Cuz it sure seemed heavily implied a couple episodes back

Laura:

that Cartage was gonna be there

Xhafer:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Yeah, no.

Xhafer:

Now

Laura:

now he's decided not

Xhafer:

to be the living God instead of the eternal God or something.

Xhafer:

He can figure that bit out later.

Laura:

We've got a, a whole thing with a jester in this scene.

Laura:

The gesture's kind of like just mocking people, right?

Laura:

He's like standing behind them and doing the like mocking faces

Laura:

and, and hand gestures and stuff.

Laura:

That doesn't play well with Cartage eventually.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Ugh.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Everyone here freezes when Cartage looks a little upset and they're just

Xhafer:

like, oh, are we about to be liquified?

Xhafer:

Big vibe.

Xhafer:

Londo leaves to go check on Jaar.

Xhafer:

He's honestly not as upset about the whole losing an eye thing as I was expecting.

Laura:

Yeah,

Xhafer:

be more upset.

Laura:

and you would think, okay, so we had that scene in the last episode where

Laura:

cartage is telling Wado that he doesn't like the way Jaar is looking at him.

Laura:

And Londo, just thoughtlessly says, well, you'll do something about it.

Laura:

It'll be fine.

Laura:

Uh, Rondo's had visions of a one-eyed jaar choking him to death.

Xhafer:

Yes.

Laura:

Did he not see this baby as a possibility?

Laura:

He seems very surprised, but he shouldn't be so surprised.

Xhafer:

I think Londo is just an asshole.

Laura:

Yeah, he's very self-absorbed as we've discussed in alignments,

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Londo lays down the plan weaken the chains, bribes the cards.

Xhafer:

Shakar makes a diversion so Lao's people can handle the rest.

Xhafer:

Lando reminds Shakar that a s has to be the one to kill Cartage.

Xhafer:

Otherwise thenar will be made to suffer even more, and that

Xhafer:

is a fate Lando cannot prevent

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

If they, if they let Jaar kill Cartia, then the wars

Laura:

are just gonna keep on going.

Xhafer:

for forever, just in perpetuity.

Xhafer:

This is

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yes.

Laura:

This is actually pretty wise.

Xhafer:

In a, a rare moment of clarity, he understands how the universe works.

Laura:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

After this, cartage like kills his JE because humor

Xhafer:

is subjective to commercial.

Laura:

A very good commercial break spot.

Xhafer:

When we come back, vere got a weapon because Londo knows that

Xhafer:

Vere will be allowed to just go do whatever because he's so harmless.

Xhafer:

No one is going to watch him.

Laura:

he's just a teddy bear.

Laura:

Everybody's gonna go, no, I couldn't be beer.

Xhafer:

Vere's gonna go get a weapon with poison on darn

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

So is this anar weapon or a sari weapon?

Laura:

It seems Sari, right?

Xhafer:

poison

Laura:

Uhhuh.

Xhafer:

and it's very decorative.

Laura:

Uhhuh,

Xhafer:

I feel like most NAR weapons would probably be a little bit more utilitarian

Laura:

yes.

Xhafer:

and a little less hidden,

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

but.

Xhafer:

The occupation and everything.

Xhafer:

I'm sure there's been so much intermingling at this point with some of

Xhafer:

this stuff that it could very well be anar weapon made to hide and kill a and Tori.

Laura:

Yeah, it's, they're all too entangled now.

Laura:

Who knows?

Xhafer:

They take the weapon out and discuss the instructions for use.

Xhafer:

Lando is worried the poison won't work fast enough.

Xhafer:

It's all fun until veer makes a joke that Cartage must kill Lando.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Look, I gotta get these drops in while I can.

Xhafer:

Jaar gets paraded around.

Xhafer:

By the way, this isn't specifically a Jesus fit, a Jesus thing.

Xhafer:

This was

Laura:

but it sure looks like one

Xhafer:

j jms in the Usenet notes.

Xhafer:

It is a Roman thing, and that just happens to be a very overlapping Venn diagram

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Between the Sari and the Romans and, yeah.

Xhafer:

and, and Jesus and Roman methods of execution.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So it wasn't intended to be a Jesus thing.

Xhafer:

It's more Rome cent stuff.

Xhafer:

Just th those happened to be.

Xhafer:

Inescapably linked in history and

Laura:

I definitely, when I saw this I don't know how familiar you are with the

Laura:

Messiah, but there's a portion of handle's Messiah that's not often done cuz you

Laura:

see the Christmas portion all the time.

Laura:

People do.

Laura:

Christmas Messiah all the time, but they don't do Easter Messiah all the time.

Laura:

And there's a portion in the Easter Messiah that's his yoke is easy

Laura:

and his burden is light and it's a very peppy little handle piece.

Laura:

And so like as Jaar is coming out with this, you know, big yoke on, and he's

Laura:

been beaten, that's what I'm hearing in my head is this peppy little, his

Laura:

yoke is easy and his burden is light.

Xhafer:

Cartha tells Lando he had the weak chains replaced.

Xhafer:

He's like, oh, the chains looked weak.

Xhafer:

I had them replaced with this ultra strong material that no one could ever break.

Xhafer:

No worries.

Xhafer:

And then Shakar breaks those chains faster than cocaine and

Xhafer:

Mick Fleetwood's in Fidelity, like he just rips through that shit

Laura:

Yeah, we didn't need to weaken his chains.

Laura:

He had this.

Laura:

I thought that Jaar didn't even need to break those chains, to

Laura:

be honest with that huge yoke he could have just started spinning.

Xhafer:

It's, it's a ridiculous yoke.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

it is ni a weapon onto itself.

Xhafer:

Jaar breaks those chains and uses it to take out a bunch of guards.

Xhafer:

And you're right, he probably didn't need the extra couple feet of reach.

Xhafer:

These guards look like fucking MOOCs.

Xhafer:

He just makes quick work

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Lendo grabs cartage to the other room who then disarms him for

Xhafer:

insulins before he has a chance to act

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yep.

Xhafer:

Vere goes to check on him.

Xhafer:

Sees Lambo getting choked out.

Xhafer:

And then veer uses the injector to finally kill Cartage.

Laura:

Oh, cartage.

Laura:

We hardly knew Ye.

Xhafer:

Londo makes good on his word after this and builds a case

Xhafer:

for the cent to leave Narn forever.

Xhafer:

It's like two emperors have died because of these.

Xhafer:

We're we're done here for forever.

Xhafer:

Guys.

Xhafer:

We have to leave.

Xhafer:

Good call.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

The court grants Lando, the role of Prime Minister and he will be

Xhafer:

in charge until a new emperor is chosen.

Laura:

That sounds like the worst place to be.

Laura:

Good luck.

Xhafer:

the war room, Lanier gets shit on a few times.

Xhafer:

When the man who knocks knocks I'm assuming I got that reference right.

Xhafer:

Go listen to last time on.

Xhafer:

We haven't, that hasn't happened yet, or it hasn't, we missed it.

Xhafer:

But that, that's a breaking bad thing, right?

Xhafer:

The man who I am, the man who knocks, I'm the one who knocks Walter White.

Xhafer:

It's Brian Cranston.

Laura:

Yeah

Laura:

big, big guest star.

Laura:

I mean, he guess he wasn't super big yet

Xhafer:

he was unknown at this point.

Laura:

Wow.

Xhafer:

his show he was working on before this Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Laura:

Nice.

Xhafer:

Um, So

Laura:

This is pre Malcolm in the middle.

Laura:

This is pre breaking bad.

Xhafer:

yeah.

Xhafer:

Fun fact.

Xhafer:

If you didn't know the character Billy in Power Rangers is named Billy

Xhafer:

Cranston after Brian Cranston the actor.

Laura:

That's cute.

Xhafer:

Anyways yeah, so.

Xhafer:

Linear knows the next war on Target.

Xhafer:

It's a world with 6 billion people living on it.

Xhafer:

It is, things are not good, and Sheridan's like, Hey, I'm gonna call you back.

Xhafer:

Billy c Lando gathers ve who is just drunk as fuck.

Xhafer:

He asked Londo how much more he needs to drink before he

Xhafer:

can't see himself in the mirror.

Laura:

Poor ve por.

Laura:

I mean, yeah, he was, he took this really hard, it was objectively necessary,

Xhafer:

Yes.

Laura:

but yeah.

Laura:

Por,

Xhafer:

yeah.

Xhafer:

Vere's got some real trauma from killing the Emperor.

Xhafer:

Steven First nails this fucking scene.

Laura:

mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

Londo regrets treating veer poorly, but also regrets that he has now

Xhafer:

effectively taken away veer innocence,

Laura:

Yep.

Xhafer:

which is, I mean, you can just apologize for making

Xhafer:

him do something traumatic.

Xhafer:

Maybe instead of weirdly wording that innocence thing, like that's,

Xhafer:

that's a bizarre way of go.

Xhafer:

I don't know.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

felt weird to me, but.

Xhafer:

Lando does regret what he has done to veer as a person, which is nice.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

I mean, he should.

Xhafer:

It's a bare fucking minimum.

Laura:

Yes.

Laura:

Yes.

Xhafer:

Lando drops the real talk.

Xhafer:

No cap.

Xhafer:

It's always gonna hurt.

Xhafer:

But it was necessary.

Xhafer:

Caring about doing something terrible means you still have a heart.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Small comfort.

Xhafer:

The narn begin to celebrate the satori occupation ending as Lando

Xhafer:

reminds us, much like Garibaldi last step, that this is not the end of the

Xhafer:

story and that there's more to happen.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Vere wonders what it was all for.

Xhafer:

Had Turin not died.

Xhafer:

Likely they would be exactly where they are now, but with countless lives left,

Xhafer:

alive and the shadows off of Centri Prime,

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Whoops.

Xhafer:

started this whole plan, it would be exactly the same except a

Xhafer:

ton of people would still be alive.

Laura:

It would be exactly the same except a lot better.

Xhafer:

The League of Nine Online Worlds reviews the footage of the

Xhafer:

Shadow Planet Killer Dela and Sheridan.

Xhafer:

Go over the plan phase one, slow the V on advance to give the fleet time to

Xhafer:

arrive at COR six, phase two, engage the fleet at COR six with the first ones

Xhafer:

phase three or zero or one and a half.

Xhafer:

They don't really say.

Xhafer:

Get the shadows there as well for to force a direct confrontation,

Xhafer:

Hal is given the files about a phony base to bait a shadow attack.

Xhafer:

Um, And Erickson knows what he has to do.

Xhafer:

He says farewell to Delan, and Ivanova listens in thinking it's weird.

Xhafer:

He told her mac and cheese Ranger one.

Xhafer:

So there was a lot of comments about the character of Ericsson on the use nets.

Laura:

Okay.

Xhafer:

it's just like, who the fuck is this guy?

Xhafer:

He's great.

Xhafer:

It sucks you killed him.

Xhafer:

And jms never even says Brian Cranston's name.

Xhafer:

He only refers to him as Ericsson's actor.

Xhafer:

And he's all like, oh yeah, he was great.

Xhafer:

He really did a great job of selling it, you know?

Xhafer:

Great, great guy we got for that bit part.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Yes, yes.

Xhafer:

He is a great actor.

Laura:

The rest of the world got to know that in some other series.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

Very soon they'd be aware.

Xhafer:

Over at Narn Jaar is ready to put a boot in.

Xhafer:

Jalo, Jaar is like, look, I didn't overthrow a dictator to become one.

Laura:

Yeah.

Laura:

Jaar is very enlightened these days.

Laura:

He's got that big uh, George Washington vibes, you know,

Laura:

At

Laura:

least

Laura:

George Washington from Hamilton.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

The, the idealized version of George Washington that we like to think existed

Xhafer:

compared to, to the real life one.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Laura:

correct.

Xhafer:

I cannot tell a lie.

Xhafer:

Everyone who's been president was a piece of shit in some regard.

Laura:

Yeah, yeah

Xhafer:

the Centura are gonna destroy themselves without us.

Xhafer:

We don't need to attack them.

Xhafer:

There to be

Laura:

yeah.

Xhafer:

not hated.

Xhafer:

And then he gets questioned about how much he suffered

Laura:

Oh man.

Xhafer:

and he

Laura:

We're in a suffering contest here.

Laura:

Suffering measuring contest.

Xhafer:

who's got the bigger suffering.

Xhafer:

Dick Jor and Jaar and Jaar just laughs and walks away

Laura:

Yeah,

Xhafer:

big suffering.

Xhafer:

Dick energy.

Xhafer:

Don't make that the

Laura:

there's the title Ding.

Xhafer:

Our last one was literally, we Ate Jesus.

Xhafer:

People are gonna think this podcast has gone off the rails based off these titles.

Laura:

I mean, but maybe it has.

Xhafer:

Over in Sheridan's office, he listens to White Star fourteens last log.

Xhafer:

The plan is set in motion.

Xhafer:

John and Delen leave B five to join the fleet at Corian six we find Sinclair left

Xhafer:

a note for Sheridan on his desk with some tenon, and we get some Ulysses to credits.

Xhafer:

I have always been a fan of charge of the Light Brigade personally.

Xhafer:

Uh,

Laura:

Uh huh

Xhafer:

know, but that's me.

Xhafer:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

So how do you feel about this episode?

Laura:

I like this episode.

Laura:

I mean, we're, we're reaching the climax of the shadow war, right.

Laura:

Um, I'm gonna give it.

Laura:

Four and a half.

Laura:

I, I like everything about the whole cartage demise.

Laura:

The only thing I wish is that we'd had more cartage, like really?

Laura:

How many episodes did we actually have him in?

Xhafer:

Not many.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I think he

Laura:

And that's disappointing for

Laura:

me.

Xhafer:

show up until the first episode of this season, right?

Xhafer:

He's not in season three at all.

Xhafer:

So five episodes of Cartage.

Laura:

Yeah.

Xhafer:

I originally had four and a half written, and then I'm like, what

Xhafer:

would I possibly change in this episode?

Xhafer:

What's something I can say bad about this episode?

Xhafer:

And I couldn't think of a fucking thing.

Xhafer:

So I crossed it out and I wrote five.

Laura:

that's, that's a good metric.

Laura:

If you can't think of anything to change, what, what is it

Xhafer:

couldn't think of a single thing I didn't like about it, like not even

Xhafer:

like I could come up with a better idea.

Xhafer:

It's just like, There was nothing about this episode that didn't

Xhafer:

hit on all cylinders for me.

Xhafer:

It's a fantastic app.

Xhafer:

It gets a five out of five for me.

Laura:

I, I uh, just wish everything wasn't so rushed.

Laura:

I am feeling the speed this point.

Xhafer:

The speed has not started yet, actually.

Xhafer:

Um,

Laura:

It feels like It to me.

Xhafer:

like it for sure.

Xhafer:

And even my last rewatch, I felt the same thing, but in reading, use Net

Xhafer:

Notes specifically for next episode.

Xhafer:

This was always the plan,

Laura:

Hmm.

Xhafer:

ending here.

Xhafer:

The only thing was next episode would've been a two-parter instead of just a

Xhafer:

solo, and it kind of felt like it was anyways, to be perfectly honest with

Xhafer:

this one, maybe it would've been one of those three parter things that he does

Xhafer:

sometimes around this point of the season.

Laura:

Mm-hmm.

Xhafer:

the plan was always to do what's happening next episode next week.

Xhafer:

So

Laura:

That's crazy to

Laura:

me.

Xhafer:

may as well talk about it while we're right here, cuz we got

Xhafer:

Season four episode six into the Fire.

Xhafer:

Ivanova and Lorianne.

Xhafer:

Look for the first ones has Sheridan Readies to meet the shadows and the VLANs.

Xhafer:

Londo Decisively ends the Cent's Alliance with the shadows.

Xhafer:

That's one way to put it.

Laura:

Yeah, sure.

Laura:

Sure.

Xhafer:

The shadows and VLANs finally clash with Sheridan's

Xhafer:

fleet trapped between them.

Laura:

Yeah, that's a big, that's a big description.

Xhafer:

Yeah, and I'm looking forward to talking about that episode next week.

Xhafer:

But before we do, We of course must say thank you to Jeremy Siegel.

Xhafer:

Jeremy, thank you for our lovely theme music.

Xhafer:

We truly appreciate it.

Xhafer:

You can find more of Jeremy's work at Jeremy Siegel 40 two.bandcamp.com

Xhafer:

and on Spotify as nuclear Jaguar.

Xhafer:

He's hard at work on the June album right now for his album a Month Challenge, so

Xhafer:

go and give him a couple listens support.

Xhafer:

It's good stuff.

Xhafer:

We appreciate it.

Laura:

And thank you to angry Duck time machine on Instagram

Laura:

for our podcast artwork.

Xhafer:

Thank you, Aaron for editing our podcast and making

Xhafer:

sure it comes out on time.

Xhafer:

Really appreciate all the work you put into the podcast and

Xhafer:

saving me from having to do it.

Xhafer:

Having been doing a bit of editing recently I can really testify.

Xhafer:

I truly appreciate all the work you put in.

Xhafer:

It's a ton of work.

Xhafer:

It's not unnoticed.

Xhafer:

Thank you so much and thank you listener for tuning in and deciding

Xhafer:

to spend an hour with Laura and I talking about a nineties sci-fi show.

Xhafer:

We really appreciate it.

Xhafer:

You enjoyed our community on Discord and we talk about all kinds of stuff on there.

Xhafer:

People are talking about the trailer that just dropped for

Xhafer:

uh, road Home on there right now.

Xhafer:

And yeah join our community.

Xhafer:

We'd love to have you there.

Xhafer:

We'll see you next

Laura:

And feel free to send us an email sometimes.

Xhafer:

yeah, we have an email address.

Laura:

Who are you?

Laura:

BFI gmail.com.

Xhafer:

All right, well, thank you so much.

Xhafer:

We'll see you next week.

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About the Podcast

Who Are You?
A Babylon 5 Watchcast
Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.