Episode 167

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Published on:

2nd Apr 2025

April Fools Episode 2 - You Are Who

Welcome to You Are Who, a reasonably well-done Dr. Who watchcast hosted by two chaos gremlins hellbent on destroying the spacetime continuum. In this week's episode, Beth who-splains the audience while poking the schism. Victor declares no one is too straight for David Tennant.

Transcript
Victor:

Hello and welcome to RU Who this is a reasonably well done sci-fi watch

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cast, hosted by two chaos gremlins who

have hijacked the network this week.

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I'm Victor

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Beth: I'm Beth,

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Victor: and, uh, we have

got no adult supervision.

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We are taking over this podcast.

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Beth: the adults are gone.

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Time to light fire, light to everything.

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Victor: You, uh, you may know Beth

from uh, such amazing podcasts such as

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Cool Girls, don't Look at Explosions.

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The best podcast on the internet hosted

by Cool Girl Girls that are in fact cool.

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We

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Beth: It's very unhinged, so,

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Victor: Awesome.

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uh, this week we are going

to be continuing our Dr.

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Who watch cast uh, Beth.

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Have you ever seen what Dr.

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Who before?

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Beth: Oh, yes.

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I in fact, have dug my giant cardboard

cut out of Captain Jack Harkness

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out of storage for this very moment.

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Victor: you now?

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Oh my God, that is a sexy

cardboard cut out there.

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Beth: that's him.

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Victor: does captain, is Captain

Jack wearing a Burger King hat?

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Beth: He is

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anyone who's ever slept over

at my house uh, has in fact

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been scared to death by him.

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Maybe by design.

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I will not reveal my secrets.

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Victor: Oh.

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Oh.

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What do you do?

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You, do You plan 'em like a, like a trap.

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Beth: oh yeah.

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Victor: That's awesome.

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Beth: Then, you know, I wait for the, oh,

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and then I have a TARDIS mug as well.

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Victor: Oh, sweet.

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That's a cute mug.

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Beth: big, thank you.

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Victor: Yeah, I remember I was

a big fan of the, of the og Dr.

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Who back when I was a little kid

and too, too young to understand

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half of the, the British dry humor.

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But I was kind of raised

on British dry humor.

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Like I was a big fan of Red Dwarf and but,

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uh, I think the only doctor I knew

when I was younger was the famous Tom.

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Was it Tom Baker?

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Was the one

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Beth: Yes,

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Victor: with the, Jelly

Bellies and the scarf.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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He was the one I I I knew the most.

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Oh, man.

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Memory lane.

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Well, of memory lane uh, before we get

started, I have got a fun little game

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that I have prepared for you, Beth,

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Beth: Okay.

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Oh, no.

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Victor: is, yeah, yeah.

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Get that anxiety flowing.

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It's a no.

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This is a hundred percent original game

that I have stolen from another podcast.

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This is called, this is

called Quickfire Questions.

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Now, the only rule for this game

is you're not allowed to think.

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Do you think you can handle that, Beth?

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Beth: Oh,

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let me think about it.

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Victor: Yeah.

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Beth: Ha.

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Victor: So I'm gonna fire off a bunch

of questions and you just have to

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spit out the first thing that comes

to your, to your, to your mind.

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You're, no, no.

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Thinking aloud.

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Thinking is cheating.

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Are you ready?

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Beth: Yes.

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Victor: All right.

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I'm gonna give you to the

count of three uh, three.

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Which Disney character would you like

to back you up in a street fight.

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Beth: Mulan

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Victor: Next question.

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What tv or movie Muppet

would you want as a roommate?

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Beth: Animal.

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Victor: Name your favorite fictional

food or drink from a movie or TV series?

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Thinking too much, thinking too much.

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What's

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Beth: Deaf beer.

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Victor: the period?

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Yes.

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In general what trait would you like

to ask for from the Wizard of Oz?

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Beth: Chillness

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Victor: Chill

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name a snack food that would make a

great name for an eighties new wave band.

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Beth: Takis

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Victor: Uh,

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what sci-fi or fantasy TV series would

you like to see turned into a hole

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at your local miniature golf course?

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Beth: battle Circle Galactica

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Victor: That's, that's a good one.

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Uh, What's your favorite evil

fictional corporation from film or tv?

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Beth: umbrella.

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Core.

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Victor: Name a city with a weird name.

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Beth: Yep.

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Ypsilanti.

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We also have a dick water tower.

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We are like, seriously?

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Look up the Ypsilanti water tower.

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It is sh Yeah.

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It's shaped like a penis.

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Victor: Oh, nice.

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Aren't old water towers?

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I, well,

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Beth: No, this one's

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Victor: This one is,

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Beth: famously.

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Victor: lic?

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Beth: This one is like,

oh shit, that's a dick.

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Like,

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Victor: Oh, nice.

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Oh shit.

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That's

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Dick.

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What's the, what's your favorite way that

Sean Bean has died in a movie or TV show?

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Beth: All arrows, bro.

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Lord, to the rings.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Victor: is your favorite one

hit wonder from the nineties?

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Beth: Barbie girl,

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Victor: Oh, if you had a team

of professional costumers and an

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unlimited budget, what cosplay

would you wear to Comic Con

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Beth: princess Manchi,

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Victor: Pinch.

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Okay, cool.

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name two deceased musicians

that you'd want to spend the

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day at an amusement park with.

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Beth: Jim Morrison and prince.

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Victor: Oh, nice.

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Beth: Mostly.

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I just wanna see them interact, I think.

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Victor: Name something and it

smells exactly like it looks.

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Beth: Cotton candy.

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Victor: That's a very, PG or

GE rated I was not expecting.

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Good job.

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Okay.

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Um, finally, what condiment could you not

live without for the rest of your life?

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Beth: Hot sauce.

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Victor: Hot sauce.

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Wow.

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I was expecting your, your

Midwest to come out and say ranch,

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because that's totally mine.

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I,

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Beth: Yeah.

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We have a whole hot sauce shelf

because when we moved in together,

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like everybody's hot sauce came with,

and so like we just have a shelf

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Victor: Awesome.

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Beth: fridge.

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Victor: Well that was our game.

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Lemme tally up the points and,

oh, I forgot to keep score.

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Oh, well you won.

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Beth: I won.

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Victor: We'll just say you won.

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We win.

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Everyone wins.

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and uh, with that, that is the last

time anyone is going to win anything

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because this episode, in this episode,

spoiler alert, everyone loses.

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Beth: Yeah.

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This is a bu except for arguably Martha.

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No, she still

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Victor: No, she loses.

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Everyone loses.

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Beth: everyone loses.

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Victor: And uh, yeah, in case

we haven't mentioned it already

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today, we are doing Doctor who of

the renewed season, season three.

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But it's technically like

season 65 or something.

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Lemme

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see.

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Um,

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Beth: Although, in truth, my

first doctor was the ninth doctor.

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It was

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Steven uh, Kelson.

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Yeah, because I was like a teenager.

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I, I was, I think, I don't

know, maybe a freshman in high

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school, maybe in middle school.

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I think when I saw the

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Victor: Because it was like 2003, 2004

when the, when the doctor who reboot,

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Beth: Yes.

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So seventh or eighth grade?

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Yeah.

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Victor: Okay, cool.

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Did you ever see the um.

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The 1996 Dr.

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Who movie, it was a direct to TV movie.

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Beth: No.

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Victor: It's hard to find.

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I got a copy off of eBay a few years

back and it turned out it was a, it

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was a bootleg rip from the thing.

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'cause it had the, uh, it had that

obvious like, sticker on A-A-D-V-D-R

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on it when it came in the mail.

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But it was a good quality.

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Uh, it was a It was a good quality rip,

but it was actually, it was really good.

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Like it was a surprisingly good movie.

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And it, it got it.

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It's crazy because now we, we, we are

familiar with this new modern era of Dr.

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Who where, but in that movie, in the,

the:

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a lot of the, the Ian fandom back then.

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Because it was the first time the,

the doctor ever had a romantic

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interaction with his companion.

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Like prior to that he was kind of like,

um, you know, asexual oblivious almost.

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Isn't that right, Daisy?

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Thank you.

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Uh, Listeners at home can't

see, but my dog is just

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assaulting the camera right now.

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She is just a baby, but she's massive.

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Anyway.

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Beth: perfect.

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Victor: Thank you.

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But it's funny because he just, they

just ripped that bandaid right off.

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Like, if I'm remembering correctly, in

that, in that movie, the doctor, well

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first off, they did, they pulled a, a new

and and hicks with the previous doctor

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and didn't even give him a proper sendoff.

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He just got shot for no reason.

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Died and, and regenerated.

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Yeah, I, I'm surprised they even

bothered to bring the actor in.

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I think it was Sylvester McCoy was the

seventh doctor at the time, and then

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they bring in, he got shot within like

the first five minutes of the movie.

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Beth: Jesus.

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Victor: then he regenerates and then when

he meets his companion, he just like,

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he just ripped that bandaid right off.

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He just grabbed her and kissed her.

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Right there was like, wow.

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Okay.

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Beth: The way that Captain Jack

Harkness wishes David Tenet

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Victor: Yeah, it would do to him.

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Beth: like do to him.

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Yeah.

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Victor: Yeah.

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I think we all wish David Tenant

would do that to us though.

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So I,

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Beth: we fucking do.

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Victor: yeah, I mean, I'm,

I'm, I, you know, you know.

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Now hold your dick pics

out there audience.

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I am.

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I am straight, but I'm just

saying nobody is that straight.

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Okay.

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That's a beautiful man.

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So.

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Beth: He's a beautiful man and

he's Scottish and he's weird.

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Like, come on the trifecta.

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Victor: Speaking of

trifectas uh, we get, we

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Beth: yes.

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Victor: in media vortex

with our trifecta of, Dr.

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Who Crew come right through

the, right through a portal

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right into downtown London.

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Beth: because this is part

two of a three parter.

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Victor: which they have a brief flashback

to the previous episode, and it, it looked

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like they were being swarmed by zombies.

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Beth: it's pretty wild that Yeah, it's

like, it, it's set in the year 3 trillion,

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Victor: Oh, okay.

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Beth: 'cause Jair was watching it and

I was being a smart ass next to him.

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Um, but yeah, it's in

uh, the year 3 trillion.

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Everything's a mess and

people are getting eaten.

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Victor: You know, there is a really

good YouTube channel called I

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think it's called Isaac Arthur.

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I, I might be wrong about that, but it's

a, he's a, he's a big science man and

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he talks about smart stuff and I like to

brag about how I watch it and understand

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like maybe 30% of what he's talking about.

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But one of his favorite, my

favorite specials I did was called

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civilizations at the end of Time.

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And it's about what the year, you know,

3 trillion or even beyond that could

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possibly be like if humans or some

other intelligent civilization could

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even possibly survive for that long.

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And lemme say it is metal as

fuck, like quite literally

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because there's a theory if, um.

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Now, now as the science people in the

audience, I'm sure they're going to hit,

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hit us, hit me up on the discord and

point out everything I'm saying wrong.

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But if the theory is, if, if protons

don't decay, then at the end of time

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all the stars in the universe are

gonna turn into giant balls of iron.

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Man, that's cool as fuck, dude.

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Just big ass ball.

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Literally metal balls

just hanging out in space.

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Like that's going to, that's crazy

thing about, that's the end of our

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universe is big ass metal balls.

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That's it.

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Beth: Big ass metal balls.

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Speaking of big ass metal balls

our trifecta flies into a big

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ass metal trash can with truly

the prettiest colored graffiti.

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Um,

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Victor: yeah, everything

in London looks so clean.

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Beth: I know.

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And there are, Saxon is our man

signs everywhere on the wall.

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Victor: yeah, that's when

they realized that the voting

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public has elected a madman.

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Beth: Yes.

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Victor: as we've learned that uh, you

know, people don't always vote in their

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best interests, apparently, just not,

not just in our local, in the us but

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apparently over across the pond as well.

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Over in the great British empire.

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Uh, The master then taunts.

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The doctor says, you know what this

country really needs is a doctor.

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I'm not doing that accent right.

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Am I?

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That was,

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Beth: I mean, you know, it was close.

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It was only like, it was

only like 75% cringe.

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So I feel like that's pretty good.

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Victor: Well, you know what's crazy

is I recently, last year I took

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one of those DNA tests and I don't

have one majority of anything.

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My highest percentage of anything

is I have 29% indigenous Mexican.

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And then the next highest percentage

of anything is some 20% Scottish.

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And I think that's cool as shit.

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I'm not

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sure what to do with that info.

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I want to like, like I, I, I know

barely shit about Scottish culture,

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but I wanna learn now I want to,

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Beth: It's, it's pretty fucking metal.

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Honestly.

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It is very

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Victor: and throw trees.

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'cause I, that's all I know.

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They're like, they drink

and they throw trees.

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Is that right?

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You know,

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Like, I'm asking you 'cause

you probably know more about my

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I do.

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Beth: just 'cause I'm pale does not mean

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I

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Victor: that's what you guys

do on the weekends, right?

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You just, you, you drink pints and

you throw trees in your backyard.

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I'm just guessing this

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Beth: um, actually I really, really,

it's called the caver toss, and I

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do in fact, really wanna do that.

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So I'm, in fact,

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Victor: nailed it.

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Beth: I'm in fact working with

a friend of mine to come up with

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a lifting to be able to do that.

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But, um, no, I'm like half

Maltese and half whatever.

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My dad is pasty white guy.

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Victor: Basically, yeah.

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Yeah.

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That's, that's my father's side of

the family as well, is the paste.

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Pasty white guy.

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Anyway.

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So.

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what happens next?

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So

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then we go to the opening credits.

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Beth: Well before that though,

um, so Martha Jack and baby girl,

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the 10th doctor is baby girl.

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I will not be taking any

arguments on this point.

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Um, so they are sitting down, they're

watching the pri, they're realizing

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that the master is the prime minister.

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Um, and the doctor kind of zeroes in on

this unhoused man, um, tapping out this

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like

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Victor: tap, tap, tap, tap,

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tap.

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Beth: yeah, tap, tap, tap, tap,

pause, tap, tap, tap, tap, pause.

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Victor: Now, now before I forget,

I, I looked up the trivia for this

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and the writer Russell t Davies.

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Um, apparently most fans, including

myself, thought that the tap, tap,

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tap, tap was supposed to be the

opening to the doctor who theme,

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Beth: Mm-hmm.

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Victor: but apparently it's not.

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Apparently he was inspired by the typical

alarm clock alarm that we get, you know,

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when it goes off in the morning, the beep,

beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

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Apparently that's what

it's supposed to be,

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Beth: See, and I was thinking

it was like four on the floor.

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It was just like, you know, ba ba

like your, like typical drumbeat,

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like, 'cause yeah, I don't know.

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Victor: yeah, no, no, no.

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It's, it's, apparently,

it's that annoying.

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Like, who decided that that annoying

ass beep was going to be the standard

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thing for all alarm clocks like this.

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I'm curious about that.

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Does anyone have a, have a,

a, a, a copyright claim on

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that annoying beat pattern?

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Like

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Beth: Discord do your

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Victor: Yeah, let us know.

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Let us know

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in the comments who's, uh,

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Beth: But yes,

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Victor: so,

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Beth: they discuss someone named

the master who's apparently also

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a time Lord and has regenerated

and they're looking for

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him.

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And then the doctor says he'll know

who the master is when he sees him

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because time lords just know when

they're in the presence of another time.

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Lord, kind of how like nerds

always consent another nerd or

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how I know when cheese is near.

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Victor: I know.

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Did you say, I know when cheese is near.

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Beth: Yes,

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Victor: Do you have cheese cents?

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Beth: I have cheese sense,

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you know.

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Yes.

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And then the Prime Minister says that what

the country needs right now is a Doctor

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Victor: Then we

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go to credits.

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So we come back from credits

and the master prepares to go to

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his very first cabinet meeting.

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I, I do kinda love the,

the face that he does.

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I, I want to turn that, like, I'm

surprised that didn't take off as a meme.

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Like, like, like funny is like this.

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And he goes, ah, and, and

he goes angry is like this,

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Beth: Yeah.

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Victor: like that.

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I feel like that'd be a good template

for like, that that Jordy meme where

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the, the pointing and the thing

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Beth: Yeah.

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The like.

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Yeah.

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That used to be Drake

till he got canceled.

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Victor: yeah.

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Beth: But yes, and this is all taking

place in 10 Downing Street, which

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is like the White House for all our

American listeners, or 24 Sussex

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for all of our Canadian listeners.

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Did I

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Victor: that where it, is?

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That where the, the, the Palace

of Canada is located in:

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Beth: That's where Daddy Trudeau lives.

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Victor: Trudeau.

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Daddy, daddy Trudeau

gonna hold you to his,

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Beth: Hey Daddy, Trudeau, can

you please take us away from

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this country for a little bit,

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Victor: just cover me in maple syrup.

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Beth: baby, maybe.

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Don't do that to me.

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I don't like sticky.

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But you can cover Victor in maple syrup.

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That's fine.

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Victor: Oh, don't make

a, don't make a joke.

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Don't make a joke.

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Okay.

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Alright.

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So, so, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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So the master uh, so he, he's here

in his first cabinet meeting and

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he's chastising all the politicians

in the room for, for turn coding.

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As soon as they saw the, the election

swinging his way, they all changed sides,

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:

Beth: yes, they're all,

they're all traders.

446

:

Victor: yeah, they're all traders.

447

:

But later, later in the episode, we

find out that the master was using his

448

:

hypnosis waves on everyone, and this is

what they were supposed to do anyway.

449

:

So he is basically, he's angry for them

doing what he programmed them to do.

450

:

Beth: because we find out later in

the episode, he is actually qua.

451

:

Victor: Yeah, I was gonna say, this is

a a, I mean, he's, he's angry and he

452

:

punishes all of them for doing what he

programmed them to do in the first place.

453

:

And I'm like, oh, well this

is kind of the basis for a lot

454

:

of the religions out there, so

455

:

Beth: Yeah, this got cult.

456

:

It's got a cult leader

457

:

sort of vibe.

458

:

Victor: So then the, uh, he, he just, he

pulls a gas mask from underneath the table

459

:

Beth: yeah, because that

conveniently stowed.

460

:

Of course,

461

:

Victor: Now, let me just say something.

462

:

If someone, if, if someone, if you

see someone, if I see someone put

463

:

on a gas mask, I'm just gonna run.

464

:

Beth: yeah.

465

:

I'm not

466

:

gonna sit there and go,

Hey man, what's that

467

:

Victor: What you, what you doing?

468

:

Beth: bud

469

:

Victor: You putting on that gas mask for.

470

:

Beth: like?

471

:

No, I'm get the.

472

:

Victor: Yeah,

473

:

no, I, I, I remember many, many,

many years ago I was DMing a game.

474

:

I believe it was Mech Warrior.

475

:

It was a for, for those listeners

who don't know, probably got a

476

:

couple of Mech Warrior fans, but it

was a, a, a tabletop RPG style set

477

:

in the future with giant robots.

478

:

But anyway, I, I remember I had a, I had

set up a meeting with, I don't know if

479

:

it was a, as a governor or a mafia boss.

480

:

Details don't matter.

481

:

But the point is, I had all my

player characters there in the

482

:

room, and I said, and, and, and my,

my villain I told him, he says, no

483

:

gentlemen, I'm afraid I'm going to

have to cut this, this meeting short.

484

:

And he pulls out a gas mask and

all my players immediately, as

485

:

soon as I said gas mask, one of

'em was like, rolling initiative.

486

:

I'm gonna shoot 'em in the face.

487

:

The other one's like, I dive

out the window and another

488

:

one's like, I tackle him.

489

:

Like, dude, you know, he's like,

you can't, you can't pull this on.

490

:

People

491

:

Beth: Blake, the only time that you would

ever like not immediately run is if you

492

:

wanted to be really petty and try to like

rip that mask off his face before leaving.

493

:

So he dies too.

494

:

Like,

495

:

Victor: Like at like at worst,

everyone in the room is, is

496

:

about to die or, or, or pass out.

497

:

At best you could possibly hope for

is someone's about to has been eating

498

:

Taco Bell all day and has been planning

this moment, you know, just to have a

499

:

really foul prank for everyone in the

500

:

room.

501

:

So after he gases all the politicians

in the room Martha Returns goes back

502

:

to her apartment or, or her, her flat

503

:

Beth: Oh, wait, hold on.

504

:

Wait.

505

:

Before, before that though,

um, so before he goes into the

506

:

meeting with the cabinet, right.

507

:

there is a moment that I do wanna call

out because like Tish comes out, she's

508

:

this woman who works at his office.

509

:

Later we figure out

510

:

Victor: I was wondering.

511

:

Okay.

512

:

I was wondering why, why we

were, we so concerned with Tisch?

513

:

'cause I'm like, who?

514

:

She just seemed like an

extra to me, but uh, okay.

515

:

Beth: Nor

516

:

Victor: No.

517

:

Beth: we, she is, she is Martha's sister.

518

:

Um, and she's all like,

what do you want me to do?

519

:

Because we find out that

she just got hired there.

520

:

So she's pretty new.

521

:

And he goes, oh, you just, you

just sit there and, and look

522

:

pretty sweetheart or whatever.

523

:

And he like caresses her face.

524

:

And at this point I would like to know.

525

:

Where is Downing Street's HR department?

526

:

Um,

527

:

Victor: Well this, this this

episode did air in:

528

:

So.

529

:

Beth: oh shit.

530

:

Victor: Yeah, that should,

I mean, they should, yeah.

531

:

This sort of thing should not be

532

:

acceptable.

533

:

Beth: yeah, that's why

the president was a white

534

:

Victor: Right.

535

:

I do remember in

536

:

later seasons they do actually have Obama,

537

:

and that might be the

next doc, the 11th doctor.

538

:

Beth: Honestly, Obama's such a geek,

like he is such a livable geek that

539

:

like, it is possible that they could've

just like asked him and he would've

540

:

been on if he wasn't like super busy.

541

:

Like that just feels on brand for him.

542

:

Victor: in Dr.

543

:

Who, anyway, it wasn't in episode, I'm

thinking of, they were just showing

544

:

like stock footage of him and then for

like the, for like the alien moments,

545

:

they had a standin actor and you could

only see him from the back of his

546

:

Beth: Of course.

547

:

Yeah.

548

:

Victor: So then, then everyone

bounces back to, to Martha's Flat.

549

:

And I gotta say the camera

cuts in this scene right here.

550

:

This, maybe this was an early two

thousands thing, but it kind of made

551

:

me nauseous the way they were all just

like, oh, we're having exposition.

552

:

Let's put the camera in.

553

:

Weird positions.

554

:

Beth: That was like very much

in that like very like choppy

555

:

cut, cut, cut, cut, cut thing.

556

:

That's like, it was, they figured out

that it's really cool in music videos

557

:

and then in like the early two thousands

and then by like:

558

:

two thousands, they were just like,

yeah, we gotta put it in everything.

559

:

It's too tight, bro.

560

:

It's so tight.

561

:

Like, and yeah,

562

:

Victor: I hate it makes me feel

old because I'm all just like,

563

:

Beth: yeah, no, it's same.

564

:

Victor: gives me motion sickness.

565

:

Beth: I could not watch cowboys

versus aliens in the movie theater.

566

:

I had to run to the bathroom and

puke because it made me sick.

567

:

Victor: You know what,

maybe that explains it.

568

:

'cause I've tried to watch that

movie like three times and I just

569

:

lose, I just can't, it doesn't

hold my attention span.

570

:

Beth: that is also

because it is a bad movie,

571

:

Victor: Good to know.

572

:

So Jack uses his laptop

and they realize that uh,

573

:

Beth: I think it's Martha's laptop.

574

:

Victor: Martha's,

575

:

yeah.

576

:

J

577

:

Jack uses Martha's laptop and,

but, but not before He makes

578

:

everyone some tea, he makes

579

:

Beth: Well of co We're

in, we're in the uk.

580

:

Vic, you can't do shit without

581

:

Victor: You gotta have your tea first.

582

:

I used to really love tea.

583

:

I went through as a phase, but

I just kind of got over it.

584

:

Like, nah,

585

:

Beth: I'm still in it, dude.

586

:

I love me some.

587

:

Earl Gray,

588

:

Victor: Gray, I do like

589

:

Beth: hot.

590

:

Victor: but if I drink Earl Gray,

I'd be just like, well this is

591

:

just kind of half-ass coffee.

592

:

I should just have coffee then.

593

:

Nah, you're like, nah.

594

:

Beth: Nah, you gotta leave that bag in

595

:

the

596

:

whole time.

597

:

You gotta leave the bag in

and then it punches you in the

598

:

Victor: Oh, see, I pulled the bag out.

599

:

that's

600

:

Beth: Nah, you gotta not,

yeah, you gotta leave that

601

:

Victor: leave that bag in

602

:

Beth: teabag the whole time.

603

:

You know what

604

:

Victor: whole time.

605

:

Beth: Like, like continual

teabagging at all times.

606

:

Victor: Well, speaking of continuous

Teabagging Jack Harkness is uh,

607

:

know, I found out you, I found out on

this, not this podcast, but on this

608

:

network that the actor that plays

609

:

Jack Harkness has canceled.

610

:

Beth: He, yes, he has been canceled

for, um, showing everyone his tea bags.

611

:

Victor: Yeah.

612

:

uh, Jaire and Ben didn't wanna

say on air what it was that he

613

:

did to get himself canceled.

614

:

So I just looked it up later, and I gotta

be honest, I was just like, oh, that's it.

615

:

He just flashed this junk to the, to the,

616

:

stage.

617

:

But see, I forget.

618

:

No, no, no.

619

:

I forget that.

620

:

That's very inappropriate in the

civilized world because I come from a

621

:

background where I spent, I spent 20

years in the military where literally

622

:

my first day at my, my new duty station

I was at, at Fort Eustis, I was a

623

:

private and I was putting away my gear.

624

:

And this dude walks in the room and

says, Hey, I hear you knew here, man.

625

:

I just wanted to shake your

hand and say, Hey, welcome,

626

:

if there's anything you need.

627

:

And I didn't even realize that he

was standing there with his, his

628

:

testicles flopped out over his belt.

629

:

And to this day, I'm not quite sure how he

630

:

pulled that off.

631

:

Beth: that be hurt?

632

:

Victor: he was fully clothed.

633

:

And he, I went to shake his hand and

I looked down and I go, oh my God.

634

:

And there they are, just pinging

pong, just flopping around

635

:

in the wind, fully clothed.

636

:

I don't know how he did this.

637

:

It's a, but this, that's just the

type of shit that I, I got used to.

638

:

And I, and I, I forget that

that's, that's not okay.

639

:

You know

640

:

Beth: Everything I learn about

the military concerns me.

641

:

Victor: Jesus.

642

:

C Christ, I'm so glad I'm retired.

643

:

I am, I'm out.

644

:

Fuck you Uncle Sam.

645

:

Eat my ass.

646

:

Beth: Or your testicles.

647

:

Victor: And yeah.

648

:

I'm tired.

649

:

I'm done looking at your balls.

650

:

Beth: yeah.

651

:

Victor: Never again,

652

:

Beth: Um,

653

:

Victor: but yeah.

654

:

But that actor hasn't

worked since:

655

:

It's like, wow.

656

:

Beth: Yeah.

657

:

'cause no one wanted to see his dick.

658

:

But I will say, I have the Jack,

captain Jack Harkness cut out.

659

:

'cause a dear friend of mine, very long

before John Barrowman got canceled.

660

:

Um, got that for me.

661

:

And now it's just a sentimental

value because I love that person

662

:

Victor: Mm-hmm.

663

:

That's very sweet.

664

:

Yeah.

665

:

And Jack Harkness, you know, we can,

I feel like it's okay to separate the

666

:

character from the actor 'cause Jack

667

:

Beth: Yeah, he's pretty,

he's pretty great.

668

:

Jack Harkness, not John Berryman,

but Jack Harkness is, you know,

669

:

Victor: I, you know, I remember

at conventions a lot of fans

670

:

were just like, grateful and,

and, and, and that they had a,

671

:

Beth: that he didn't pull out his penis.

672

:

Victor: that too.

673

:

Yeah.

674

:

Just an openly bisexual character

that is just such a badass.

675

:

Beth: That too,

676

:

Victor: That is, yeah.

677

:

I mean, at the time, so this was yeah.

678

:

Early 2007, so that would've been

still a relatively new thing.

679

:

just something different than

the typical straight white dude

680

:

hero that we get in every other

you know, piece of fiction ever.

681

:

So.

682

:

Beth: and as, as somebody

who had come out as bisexual.

683

:

At like 12 or 13 and had been told like,

oh no, it's a phase you'll grow out of it.

684

:

It was like super validating to

see a bisexual character just be

685

:

unapologetically chaotic on tv.

686

:

Like,

687

:

like, I'm a flirt with you and then I'm

gonna make out with you and then I'm

688

:

gonna make out with you and maybe we're

all gonna make out at the same time.

689

:

Like it was kind of fun.

690

:

It was nice to see

691

:

Victor: I, I loved the uh, the, it was,

I think it was the final episode with the

692

:

previous, the ninth doctor when they're

about to go confront the evil villain.

693

:

And they're all just like, we're probably

not gonna make it outta here alive.

694

:

And then Jack reaches over

to, um, oh, what's her name?

695

:

Rose Tyler.

696

:

And just plants a kiss right on her.

697

:

And then he turns down to the

doctor and says Doctor, and does

698

:

the same thing to the doctor.

699

:

Like, that was pretty awesome.

700

:

Beth: And it was, yeah.

701

:

And I was just like sitting there like,

yes, that is exactly what I would do too.

702

:

Like, hell yeah.

703

:

Like,

704

:

Victor: Oh,

705

:

I love it.

706

:

So then we get the uh, the incredibly

obvious bomb that was placed in

707

:

Beth: it looked like a cartoon

708

:

man.

709

:

Victor: Did it like a,

like a acne bugs bunny.

710

:

Acne bomb.

711

:

Beth: and my favorite part is how

he's like, he's making this big speech

712

:

about how like, oh yes, we've made

contact, with, you know, the orbs.

713

:

Right.

714

:

Oh yeah.

715

:

And also I was super confused by

the Prime Minister's wife because

716

:

she acted like not a real person.

717

:

Victor: yeah, she, it's like they, they

did a switcheroo, like at first they made

718

:

it seem like she was, I mean, I guess

she is kind of hypnotized by the master.

719

:

Um, but she's also in on it

720

:

and she's kind of on the

fence, is what I kinda got.

721

:

Like, she's not fully committed

to the villain lifestyle,

722

:

Beth: But she really wants

the power, like it seems like

723

:

she's like in it for the power.

724

:

Victor: But I think she doesn't realize

at this point, she doesn't realize

725

:

just how many people have to die in

order for her to how many war crimes

726

:

have to be done for her to get to

this feeling of power that she wants.

727

:

I think she's just kind

of along for the fun ride.

728

:

I.

729

:

Kinda like, I don't know, maybe,

I know plenty of people who went

730

:

out and they bought like a, like a

super sports car, and then they're

731

:

all just like, oh my God, this thing

gets like two miles to the gallon.

732

:

Whoa, what have I done?

733

:

Uh, that was a crappy

metaphor, but you get the idea.

734

:

So,

735

:

Beth: Yeah.

736

:

But, um, yeah, so also when we're

at Martha's apartment, right?

737

:

She's listening to her messages and

she starts listening to a message from,

738

:

I'm assuming it's from her sister Tish,

saying that she got a new job and then

739

:

she cuts it off and is like, I don't care.

740

:

Who cares?

741

:

And I'm sitting here like, man,

especially if the world's fucking

742

:

ending, I want to hear about my

friend's wins and triumphs and shit.

743

:

I want that dopamine.

744

:

Give it.

745

:

And then so, and then she's all

like, Sue, doctor, what's up?

746

:

I don't know why she's talking like a frat

boy, but she is, um, she's all like, Sue

747

:

doctor, tell me about this master guy.

748

:

And he's like, no.

749

:

He is a time Lord.

750

:

That's like legit all you need to know.

751

:

And then, um, we cut to 10 Downing

Street and this rude ass reporter shoves

752

:

her way into the first lady's room as

Tish tries desperately to stop her.

753

:

And the reporter implies she only has

her job at the PM's office because she's

754

:

pretty, and I'm beginning to think there's

no HR department at 10 Downing Street.

755

:

and then the reporter convinces Mrs.

756

:

Saxon.

757

:

So the prime minister's wife's give her

20 minutes of her time for an interview.

758

:

Victor: Yeah.

759

:

'cause I want to talk, girl talk.

760

:

Beth: Yeah.

761

:

And she's all like, you know,

'cause I wanna hear about the

762

:

powerful woman behind the man.

763

:

And she's all like, yep, yep.

764

:

I'm all about that power.

765

:

And then like, she shoves Tish

out the door with her jacket

766

:

and everything and she's just

like, so you're in grave danger.

767

:

And like the, the prime minister's

wife's just like, ah, what?

768

:

Victor: Mm-hmm.

769

:

Beth: she's like, yeah, he's a liar.

770

:

And he didn't exist 18 months ago , when

he launched the Archangel Network.

771

:

Um, and she seems to be kind of

coming around like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

772

:

You right, you right that is right.

773

:

Like

774

:

Victor: Man, was starlink a thing in 2007?

775

:

Beth: I've never heard of

that, so I don't think so,

776

:

but

777

:

Victor: never heard of starlink?

778

:

Beth: mm-hmm.

779

:

Victor: Oh, it's, oh, it's

one of Elon Musk's projects.

780

:

It's

781

:

a, I know

782

:

it's a bunch of low

783

:

orbiting.

784

:

I know it's a bunch of low orbiting

satellite, like I'd heard about it before.

785

:

And honestly, the only reason that I

still even think about it these days

786

:

is 'cause one of my other podcasts

co-host Tiger Mike he lives, he's a,

787

:

lives in like a vagabond lifestyle.

788

:

He, he lives in, um, I dunno if

it's a trailer or a MO motor home.

789

:

His home has wheels.

790

:

So that's the only way

he can podcast with me is

791

:

Beth: Because it's like, it's that

satellite internet thing, right?

792

:

Victor: yeah, it's like a chain

of satellites that slithers

793

:

along the sky like a snake.

794

:

Beth: Yeah.

795

:

That feels right for an Elon Musk vehicle.

796

:

Uh,

797

:

Victor: I, I hope people can uh, can

eventually, vandalize satellites like

798

:

they're doing to cyber trucks all

799

:

across the

800

:

world,

801

:

Beth: just some dude in a space.

802

:

No, like see, that's the thing.

803

:

We need to make the car

from Fast and Furious.

804

:

Nine Real.

805

:

Victor: like, shoots himself in the

space with the, with the bubble suit.

806

:

Beth: I, exactly.

807

:

We need Ludicrous and Tyree

808

:

Victor: Save us.

809

:

Save us.

810

:

from Elon Musk.

811

:

Beth: and write, fuck you on

the side of all the satellites.

812

:

Just like, um,

813

:

So, um, Mrs.

814

:

Saxon, right?

815

:

She's coming around.

816

:

She's like, yeah, dude.

817

:

Yeah.

818

:

Like, I am, I am maybe brainwashed.

819

:

And then like, he shows up out of

literally nowhere and she's like,

820

:

nevermind, I've made my choice.

821

:

And then Mrs.

822

:

Rook, who's the reporter, but

not really, she's all like, oh

823

:

dude, I was just kidding, bro.

824

:

And he's like, okay,

these are my orb friends.

825

:

And then this like Jedi looking orb,

826

:

you know, like one of those training

orbs comes outta like nowhere

827

:

And You know, it's, it's stabby

828

:

though,

829

:

Victor: is stabby,

830

:

Beth: Jedi orb.

831

:

Victor: the Stabby Jedi

832

:

Beth: yeah.

833

:

It comes outta nowhere and he's

all like, okay, I'm done with her.

834

:

And then it starts to like, kill her

and she starts screaming and then

835

:

he and his wife run out of the room

and then like, he keeps opening the

836

:

door and hearing her screaming and

he's taking like forever kill her.

837

:

Like, what are they doing in there?

838

:

and then she's all like, the wife is

all like, I don't wanna do this anymore.

839

:

I thought Archangel was

like totally foolproof.

840

:

And he was like, 98%.

841

:

She's like, fuck you man.

842

:

I'm done with this.

843

:

And he's like, Ooh, no,

it will all be over.

844

:

Everything will be over

845

:

Victor: yeah.

846

:

tomorrow

847

:

at 8:00 AM is is when the world

848

:

ends,

849

:

Beth: yeah.

850

:

8 0 2, technically, but yes.

851

:

And then we cut to Jack and

Martha's kitchen talking about how

852

:

the prime minister has the tus.

853

:

so he could have been in the 21st

century for decades crafting all of this.

854

:

And the doctor's like, nah.

855

:

'cause I fused the TARDIS so he can

only travel between here and 3 trillion

856

:

years where they found the master and

857

:

Victor: I'm guessing that

was in the previous episode.

858

:

Like I,

859

:

Beth: yes.

860

:

'cause like they kind of flash to it.

861

:

Victor: yeah, I, I vague.

862

:

I don't, I don't remember the zombies at

all, but I vaguely remember them being

863

:

at the end of the universe with the,

a different actor playing the master.

864

:

And he is like an old man, and he

has a vest, and he had like a a Gorn

865

:

girl as a roommate or an assistant.

866

:

I vaguely remember that.

867

:

I didn't, I didn't watch this episode, But

868

:

it's okay because because our,

did you say gorn, but cute?

869

:

Beth: Gorn, but cute.

870

:

Yeah.

871

:

Victor: I recently found out that's a

whole sub genre of erotic literature.

872

:

But anyway,

873

:

that's, that's something,

874

:

Beth: not really.

875

:

Victor: I mean, not necessarily

gorn, but you know what, I'll just

876

:

talk about it some other time.

877

:

I've been, I,

878

:

Beth: I mean, rule 43.

879

:

Victor: yeah, yeah, exactly.

880

:

So, okay, so then, then we get

the bomb, the, the master goes

881

:

on TV and is all just like every

man, woman, child, every elevator

882

:

operator, farmer and medical student.

883

:

And I'm guessing that's what uh, I'm not

sure if she, if if, I don't remember if

884

:

Martha actually was a medical student or

885

:

wait, I think She

886

:

was cause 'cause she was, 'cause there

was a hospital episode where a whole

887

:

ass hospital gets transported to the

888

:

Beth: I, that's right.

889

:

Yeah.

890

:

Hospital to the moon.

891

:

But yeah, and like he says, how

like the spheres are tough, Nikon.

892

:

Victor: Te Teflons, you know, that's

893

:

Beth: down in my notes.

894

:

I just, yeah, they're tough LA cons now.

895

:

Um, and like they wanna give

us their knowledge and their

896

:

advanced technology, and all they

need in exchange is friendship.

897

:

Like a fuck if a Vulcan fucked

my little pony situation.

898

:

Um, and yeah.

899

:

So that's, that's that situation.

900

:

And then he says a thing about

the medical student and then they

901

:

turn around the TV and then we

get the old timey cartoony bomb.

902

:

Victor: Like, like for, so like,

the doctor instantly knew that that

903

:

meant there was a bomb behind the tv.

904

:

Like, dude, come on.

905

:

What?

906

:

That is the,

907

:

Beth: Like

908

:

Victor: like, the only way

this makes sense to me is if

909

:

he's pulled this gag before.

910

:

I mean, they, they are like 900 years old,

so the chances are he is, this is one of

911

:

his, ah, the old, the master and his old

912

:

Beth: Yeah.

913

:

Ah, the old Looney Tunes bomb

behind the TV trick, like,

914

:

Victor: Yeah.

915

:

So then, then Martha is like, shit,

if he knows who I am, he probably

916

:

knows who my family is, so he can

immediately, she immediately calls her

917

:

mom and he is like, mom, are you okay?

918

:

And she starts acting kinda suss

919

:

Beth: Yeah.

920

:

Her mom has definitely

drunk the flavor aid.

921

:

Like Mm.

922

:

Victor: Yeah.

923

:

She's acting so she's like, me and me and

your father are gonna work things out.

924

:

And this immediately sets off a

and Martha's just not getting it.

925

:

Beth: Yeah.

926

:

Martha's like, why am I being

reverse parent trapped right now?

927

:

Like, what is happening?

928

:

Victor: Like that made me think

like, I need to establish something

929

:

like that with all my friends.

930

:

Like Beth.

931

:

Beth, what's something like if you

were, if I were to call you up, what's

932

:

something that you could say to me to

let me know that you're, you're in a, a

933

:

hostage If kidnapped, like, send help.

934

:

Like what's, what's something

that you would never say?

935

:

Beth: Um, I am craving

a giant juicy steak.

936

:

Victor: What.

937

:

Beth: I'm a vegetarian.

938

:

I was raised a

939

:

Victor: Oh, I didn't know that.

940

:

Oh, okay.

941

:

Beth: Yes.

942

:

If I ever say something like

that, like I am just, I'm

943

:

craving, let's go to a Brazilian

944

:

meat house.

945

:

Yeah.

946

:

And I just, I just want Yeah, exactly.

947

:

Exactly.

948

:

If I ever say that

949

:

Victor: dude.

950

:

Okay.

951

:

That's, that's 'cause my thing would

be, would be, Hey, I'm coming over.

952

:

Order me a pizza with extra pineapple.

953

:

And if I ever say that,

954

:

you know, that I've been replaced

by a changeling or some shit, so

955

:

Beth: That's easy to remember.

956

:

'cause my favorite pizza

is black olive pineapple.

957

:

Victor: nobody's perfect.

958

:

Beth, I love you for who you are.

959

:

Okay.

960

:

Beth: You too.

961

:

too.

962

:

Victor: Alright.

963

:

so yeah, the, so then they, I, I love

how Martha's dad is just like, fuck this.

964

:

I'm, I'm, I'm going.

965

:

He just like grabs the phone and Leroy

Jenkins right out the front door.

966

:

Beth: And then the whole time he's

in the street, he's like, everybody

967

:

voted for sex and get fucked.

968

:

Like

969

:

Victor: It, I, dude, how

history repeats itself.

970

:

'cause

971

:

this exact, exact same shit

happened a couple months ago anyway.

972

:

Beth: Oh, truly we are in

the darkest of timelines.

973

:

Victor: So then see, I guess, I guess,

I don't know if that's, this is her

974

:

car that they, or they just steal

a car, but, but the doctor Jack and

975

:

Martha are, are in a car now driving

over to Martha's parents' house.

976

:

and

977

:

then they get, shot at by the,

by the federal, well I guess it

978

:

wouldn't be Federal Royal Royal

Go Royal Royal British Goons

979

:

Beth: I just, yeah.

980

:

Royal bear screens like

981

:

Victor: Yeah.

982

:

RBGs.

983

:

Yeah.

984

:

The RBGs shoot start to shoot ' em

up and then the master somehow

985

:

hacks the cell phone signal and

starts telling Martha she's doomed.

986

:

Beth: Yeah, because Martha's trying to

get ahold of her siblings, so she's um,

987

:

also like, this must have been really

jarring for the British because like they

988

:

don't just like, I'm pretty sure police

officers and Britain, at least when I was

989

:

there, don't like fuck around

990

:

Victor: They don't have guns.

991

:

Right.

992

:

Yeah,

993

:

Beth: Especially not big boys like that.

994

:

Like

995

:

Victor: yeah.

996

:

yeah.

997

:

No, I remember that because that

was uh, in the first season of

998

:

Sherlock, that was a big thing.

999

:

When, when Watson went to go

shoot someone, he had a gun and

:

00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:08,040

it was like a big dramatic thing.

:

00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,470

And whoever I was watching it with at the

time was all just like, oh, yeah, that's

:

00:40:10,470 --> 00:40:11,580

'cause they don't have guns over there.

:

00:40:11,700 --> 00:40:14,760

So I'm just like, oh

dude, I'm in Texas, man.

:

00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:14,790

I

:

00:40:14,790 --> 00:40:17,430

probably got, I probably got

three in the kitchen that I

:

00:40:17,430 --> 00:40:18,330

don't even know about, you know?

:

00:40:18,390 --> 00:40:18,690

So,

:

00:40:19,305 --> 00:40:21,585

Beth: yeah, they probably came

with the house, honestly, like

:

00:40:24,450 --> 00:40:24,600

Victor: But

:

00:40:24,675 --> 00:40:27,045

Beth: this is your complimentary AR 15.

:

00:40:28,410 --> 00:40:29,370

Victor: scary how true that is.

:

00:40:29,370 --> 00:40:30,220

But anyway so.

:

00:40:30,562 --> 00:40:33,472

Yeah, so then the doctor come,

gets on the phone and, and, and

:

00:40:33,472 --> 00:40:35,032

the master is all just like, haha.

:

00:40:35,032 --> 00:40:35,992

Finally I have you.

:

00:40:35,992 --> 00:40:38,362

And he pulls out his little

early two thousands flip

:

00:40:38,362 --> 00:40:40,402

phone to talk to the doctor.

:

00:40:40,897 --> 00:40:42,607

Beth: and the doctor goes, hello, master.

:

00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:43,957

And he goes, Ooh.

:

00:40:43,957 --> 00:40:47,767

I love it when you called me by

my name and I was just sitting

:

00:40:47,767 --> 00:40:49,537

there like they fucked, right?

:

00:40:49,597 --> 00:40:50,617

They have totally

:

00:40:50,812 --> 00:40:56,002

Victor: Well, in the next Incar the

next time I'm 90% sure the next time

:

00:40:56,002 --> 00:41:01,132

the doc, the master regenerates he

turns into a, a she and she's like,

:

00:41:01,132 --> 00:41:03,592

um, oh, who does she look like?

:

00:41:03,592 --> 00:41:06,502

I wanna say Michelle

Pfeiffer, but not, um,

:

00:41:06,607 --> 00:41:09,187

Beth: A hot lady.

:

00:41:09,382 --> 00:41:12,749

Victor: a femme fatal discord listeners,

I'm sure you're gonna correct me on this.

:

00:41:12,749 --> 00:41:13,519

I who is it?

:

00:41:14,059 --> 00:41:17,959

yeah, she, um, I hope I don't offend

anyone with the stern, but she still looks

:

00:41:17,989 --> 00:41:20,179

like a cougar in her next incarnation.

:

00:41:21,899 --> 00:41:22,679

but yeah, no, no, no.

:

00:41:22,679 --> 00:41:26,879

The master, there's a, my

favorite master was the one

:

00:41:26,879 --> 00:41:29,099

from the, the nineties TV movie.

:

00:41:29,695 --> 00:41:33,415

some famous American actor

played him, but he was awesome.

:

00:41:33,415 --> 00:41:35,725

He just had big nineties terminator vibes.

:

00:41:35,725 --> 00:41:39,475

Like he, he wore a big ass

leather duster and some dark

:

00:41:39,475 --> 00:41:43,915

shades, and he was just, he had just

big villain energy in that movie.

:

00:41:44,065 --> 00:41:46,825

I gotta find, we gotta do that for like,

a movie break for one of our podcasts.

:

00:41:46,825 --> 00:41:47,665

It was a great movie.

:

00:41:47,950 --> 00:41:50,530

Beth: I know it wasn't Keanu

Reeves, but it'd be really funny if

:

00:41:50,605 --> 00:41:53,065

Victor: nah, no, it was

a, some big bulky dude.

:

00:41:53,155 --> 00:41:54,325

God, what was his name?

:

00:41:55,045 --> 00:41:55,435

don't remember.

:

00:41:55,435 --> 00:41:56,125

I'll look it up later.

:

00:41:56,140 --> 00:41:56,890

Beth: H.

:

00:41:57,115 --> 00:41:58,165

Victor: That would be so awesome.

:

00:41:59,035 --> 00:42:00,715

I'm sure Rah would go crazy for that.

:

00:42:01,405 --> 00:42:05,605

Someone I noticed here he, he tells the

doctor, tells the master, he is like, oh,

:

00:42:05,935 --> 00:42:07,375

you're talking about the talk of fame.

:

00:42:07,405 --> 00:42:08,515

They're, they're not real.

:

00:42:08,515 --> 00:42:09,355

They're time, lord.

:

00:42:09,355 --> 00:42:11,815

They're a time Lord

Fairytale, like the bogey man.

:

00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,120

Like he said, the

:

00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:13,855

Beth: man.

:

00:42:14,635 --> 00:42:15,085

That's right.

:

00:42:15,085 --> 00:42:16,705

Because they call him the Bogey Man.

:

00:42:16,705 --> 00:42:19,135

And in the, in the, the uk.

:

00:42:19,135 --> 00:42:19,585

Yeah.

:

00:42:19,585 --> 00:42:19,675

Like,

:

00:42:20,550 --> 00:42:23,834

Victor: Yeah, they, they, they run off

and, yeah, the, the doc, the, because

:

00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:25,574

the master tells 'em to just run Dr.

:

00:42:25,574 --> 00:42:29,834

Run because he puts their faces on

like London's most wanted on every

:

00:42:29,834 --> 00:42:32,774

TV network, and they take off.

:

00:42:33,404 --> 00:42:34,094

And

:

00:42:34,529 --> 00:42:40,269

Beth: But before that, um, we kind

of, so we talked to the master and

:

00:42:40,269 --> 00:42:45,999

while we're talking to the master and

obviously they fucked before, um, he's all

:

00:42:45,999 --> 00:42:46,389

like,

:

00:42:46,584 --> 00:42:47,424

Victor: everything gay, don't you

:

00:42:47,799 --> 00:42:52,419

Beth: yeah, I do make everything gay,

but also they have fucked before and you

:

00:42:52,419 --> 00:42:55,749

can't tell me I'm wrong, but like, okay.

:

00:42:55,809 --> 00:42:59,469

So he goes, what happened with ga?

:

00:42:59,499 --> 00:43:01,179

How's gall free been?

:

00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:05,019

And the doctor who's like, so it's gone.

:

00:43:05,619 --> 00:43:08,864

And he's all like, what about the dox?

:

00:43:09,084 --> 00:43:12,459

And he's all like, they're gone sort of

:

00:43:13,404 --> 00:43:13,764

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:43:13,764 --> 00:43:16,164

The DXs always say, they're

like the Borg of the

:

00:43:16,164 --> 00:43:16,524

Dr.

:

00:43:16,524 --> 00:43:17,154

Hugh universe.

:

00:43:17,154 --> 00:43:17,274

They

:

00:43:17,319 --> 00:43:18,999

Beth: Yeah, they do.

:

00:43:19,539 --> 00:43:21,429

Um, but they're like mostly gone.

:

00:43:21,429 --> 00:43:27,314

Their planet's gone just like galley and

um, which is the time Lord Planet, um,

:

00:43:27,684 --> 00:43:29,514

Victor: Did you just, who

explain to the audience?

:

00:43:29,799 --> 00:43:33,489

Beth: I did just who explained

to the audience in case, I

:

00:43:33,489 --> 00:43:34,869

mean, you're all big nerds, but

:

00:43:35,319 --> 00:43:36,069

I don't know.

:

00:43:36,129 --> 00:43:37,719

We all have a different flavor.

:

00:43:37,824 --> 00:43:38,244

Victor: Right.

:

00:43:38,402 --> 00:43:45,322

Beth: so, he basically, the time Lord

resurrected the master or whatever,

:

00:43:45,382 --> 00:43:48,497

or created the master because he's

like a warrior and they needed

:

00:43:48,497 --> 00:43:51,017

someone like him to fight the time war

:

00:43:51,092 --> 00:43:54,632

Victor: because, uh, just like the

DXs, I'm fairly certain that the

:

00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:59,482

last time we saw the master the

eighth doctor killed him again.

:

00:43:59,872 --> 00:44:03,892

Of course, but if, but you know, he, it's

like, it's like a comic book villain.

:

00:44:03,952 --> 00:44:05,212

The master always comes back,

:

00:44:05,392 --> 00:44:05,932

Beth: Of course.

:

00:44:05,932 --> 00:44:06,172

Yeah.

:

00:44:06,202 --> 00:44:06,952

Like Dracula.

:

00:44:08,097 --> 00:44:08,547

but yeah.

:

00:44:08,547 --> 00:44:13,447

And so, we find out that the master was

there when the Dox became scary, powerful.

:

00:44:13,447 --> 00:44:18,493

And then he kind of ran away to the end

of time and made himself human to hide

:

00:44:18,493 --> 00:44:20,533

from them because he's a giant pussy.

:

00:44:21,103 --> 00:44:27,763

And so then the master asks if the doctor

felt like a God watching the mighty

:

00:44:27,763 --> 00:44:30,733

civilizations burn, like the sociopath.

:

00:44:30,733 --> 00:44:31,453

He is,

:

00:44:31,483 --> 00:44:32,983

Victor: totally gotten

a boner in that scene.

:

00:44:32,983 --> 00:44:33,463

You can see him.

:

00:44:33,463 --> 00:44:34,873

He's all just like, what

was it like to watch a bird?

:

00:44:35,818 --> 00:44:36,253

Beth: And I

:

00:44:36,613 --> 00:44:36,883

Victor: just

:

00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:38,203

was it nice and slow?

:

00:44:38,533 --> 00:44:41,203

Beth: that is literally

your home planet, my guy.

:

00:44:41,503 --> 00:44:42,223

The fuck.

:

00:44:43,063 --> 00:44:43,393

Victor: Yeah,

:

00:44:43,933 --> 00:44:46,693

Beth: What's it like to see all of

our friends and loved ones burn,

:

00:44:47,113 --> 00:44:47,923

Victor: not gonna lie.

:

00:44:47,953 --> 00:44:50,413

Sometimes I just think about

current events and I think I would

:

00:44:50,413 --> 00:44:53,173

wouldn't mind just going up into

space and watching Earth Burn

:

00:44:53,178 --> 00:44:54,613

just, just like, fuck this planet.

:

00:44:54,613 --> 00:44:54,763

But

:

00:44:55,288 --> 00:44:57,688

Beth: Maybe, but all the, all the animals

:

00:44:57,763 --> 00:44:58,363

Victor: you are right.

:

00:44:58,363 --> 00:45:01,873

I would have to take, I would take all

the puppies with me and, and the kitties

:

00:45:02,293 --> 00:45:02,443

and

:

00:45:02,443 --> 00:45:03,493

a select group of humans.

:

00:45:03,493 --> 00:45:04,423

You, you included Beth.

:

00:45:04,423 --> 00:45:06,924

I would make room for you

on my uh, on my station.

:

00:45:06,924 --> 00:45:07,194

You know,

:

00:45:07,869 --> 00:45:09,009

Beth: thanks man.

:

00:45:09,294 --> 00:45:09,564

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:45:10,524 --> 00:45:11,814

Aaron, especially you, Aaron.

:

00:45:11,814 --> 00:45:12,144

Thank you.

:

00:45:12,189 --> 00:45:12,339

Beth: Yeah.

:

00:45:12,339 --> 00:45:13,419

Especially you Aaron.

:

00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:14,949

Thank you for editing.

:

00:45:15,069 --> 00:45:17,649

What is mostly just tangents.

:

00:45:18,099 --> 00:45:20,529

Um, but yeah.

:

00:45:20,529 --> 00:45:26,049

And, um, so then the doctor's all like,

you know, we're the last two people, dude,

:

00:45:26,049 --> 00:45:27,819

like, yeah.

:

00:45:28,554 --> 00:45:31,884

And he and the masters all like

you trying to flirt with me, which

:

00:45:31,884 --> 00:45:34,314

again, I am not making it gay.

:

00:45:34,584 --> 00:45:36,264

They're making it gay.

:

00:45:36,354 --> 00:45:36,594

Victor: You're

:

00:45:36,594 --> 00:45:36,894

right.

:

00:45:36,924 --> 00:45:37,944

Beth: just pointing it out.

:

00:45:39,354 --> 00:45:40,344

Victor: You're totally true.

:

00:45:40,794 --> 00:45:41,664

Beth: but yeah.

:

00:45:41,664 --> 00:45:44,474

And then the doctor's like,

look, we can go anywhere.

:

00:45:44,474 --> 00:45:46,844

We can start like a new

planet, wherever you want.

:

00:45:46,844 --> 00:45:47,414

It doesn't matter.

:

00:45:47,414 --> 00:45:48,104

Just not Earth.

:

00:45:48,464 --> 00:45:50,984

And the Master's like, nah, too late bro.

:

00:45:52,049 --> 00:45:52,269

So

:

00:45:53,534 --> 00:45:56,504

Victor: I think that's, I, I

think that's like a ongoing theme.

:

00:45:56,504 --> 00:46:00,044

'cause I feel like I've seen this before

where the master and the doctor are all

:

00:46:00,044 --> 00:46:02,084

just like, that's what the master wants.

:

00:46:02,084 --> 00:46:03,074

He wants to, okay.

:

00:46:03,074 --> 00:46:04,094

You know what, think about it.

:

00:46:04,094 --> 00:46:04,454

You're right.

:

00:46:04,454 --> 00:46:05,954

They are fucking,

because he just wants the

:

00:46:06,169 --> 00:46:06,729

Beth: I told you

:

00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:06,914

Victor: him.

:

00:46:07,844 --> 00:46:10,028

And uh, it's like he doesn't

want to destroy the world.

:

00:46:10,028 --> 00:46:10,748

He wants me.

:

00:46:10,778 --> 00:46:11,528

I'm like, oh, okay.

:

00:46:11,528 --> 00:46:12,158

Yeah, you're right.

:

00:46:12,308 --> 00:46:12,578

They are.

:

00:46:13,268 --> 00:46:14,378

Beth: I don't make everything gay.

:

00:46:14,378 --> 00:46:16,478

I'm just more perceptive.

:

00:46:16,538 --> 00:46:16,838

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:46:17,513 --> 00:46:21,713

so they run away and yeah, the

master puts their faces all

:

00:46:21,713 --> 00:46:23,033

over the most wanted lists.

:

00:46:23,723 --> 00:46:28,043

Then we get a little montage of the,

the news talking about the upcoming

:

00:46:28,673 --> 00:46:30,563

first contact with the aliens

:

00:46:30,923 --> 00:46:34,463

Beth: And the master reveals that

the drumming has been inside his

:

00:46:34,728 --> 00:46:35,148

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

00:46:35,873 --> 00:46:37,343

The master watches Teletubbies.

:

00:46:37,433 --> 00:46:37,583

You

:

00:46:37,643 --> 00:46:40,283

Beth: The Master's

really into Teletubbies.

:

00:46:41,140 --> 00:46:49,180

We also find out at this point

that the master is tracking our

:

00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:53,440

Martha and the men folk via CCTV.

:

00:46:53,565 --> 00:46:53,985

Victor: mm-hmm.

:

00:46:55,030 --> 00:46:55,360

Beth: Yeah.

:

00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,870

And the master also loves the

tele Toby, like a sociopath.

:

00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:06,110

The Jedi ball appears to ask the master

about when the machine will be ready.

:

00:47:06,470 --> 00:47:10,266

We know 8:02 AM and then,

:

00:47:10,476 --> 00:47:10,656

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:47:10,656 --> 00:47:12,366

The Jedi ball seems a little panicked.

:

00:47:12,576 --> 00:47:14,646

Like the, like it's on

some kind of timetable.

:

00:47:14,766 --> 00:47:14,916

Mm-hmm.

:

00:47:14,946 --> 00:47:18,246

Beth: yeah, they need to run from

the darkness which I don't know

:

00:47:18,246 --> 00:47:19,836

why you'd run from the darkness.

:

00:47:19,926 --> 00:47:24,636

Um, I believe in a thing called love

is a great song, so, and the music

:

00:47:24,636 --> 00:47:27,006

video is delightfully unhinged,

:

00:47:27,036 --> 00:47:27,666

so

:

00:47:27,786 --> 00:47:28,536

Victor: calls.

:

00:47:28,896 --> 00:47:29,196

Beth: yeah.

:

00:47:29,256 --> 00:47:30,276

Victor: I was on the phone.

:

00:47:30,936 --> 00:47:34,656

I tried to call Darkness back, but

I got darkness' answering machine.

:

00:47:35,286 --> 00:47:35,706

I said,

:

00:47:36,456 --> 00:47:37,386

pick up the phone.

:

00:47:37,386 --> 00:47:38,196

Darkness.

:

00:47:39,736 --> 00:47:40,156

Beth: Batman.

:

00:47:40,336 --> 00:47:43,161

People are literally coming

in with poop in their pants.

:

00:47:44,655 --> 00:47:45,375

Victor: so then we,

:

00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:46,350

Beth: Okay.

:

00:47:47,985 --> 00:47:51,045

Victor: so then our, our heroes

are hiding out in an alley alleyway

:

00:47:51,095 --> 00:47:55,085

somewhere, and they send Martha

to, to go on a fish and chips run.

:

00:47:55,085 --> 00:47:55,625

Apparently.

:

00:47:56,030 --> 00:47:58,220

Beth: Well, you gotta

have your fish and chips.

:

00:47:58,295 --> 00:48:00,755

Victor: I'm just like, could

you guys stop being so British?

:

00:48:00,815 --> 00:48:01,295

Like, come on.

:

00:48:02,510 --> 00:48:02,660

Beth: I

:

00:48:05,810 --> 00:48:11,030

in their defense, a good fish and

chip, lovely at a time of crisis.

:

00:48:11,420 --> 00:48:12,765

Victor: That's I, I guess so.

:

00:48:12,765 --> 00:48:15,875

I mean, I, I guess if, if if British

folk were watching some American

:

00:48:15,875 --> 00:48:19,655

TV and, and like someone runs to go

get some burgers, they'd be pointing

:

00:48:19,655 --> 00:48:20,015

Beth: yeah,

:

00:48:20,075 --> 00:48:21,245

Victor: at us, so, yeah.

:

00:48:21,245 --> 00:48:21,815

Beth: don't worry.

:

00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:25,505

I took a lovely screenshot

while I was watching this.

:

00:48:25,505 --> 00:48:28,325

We will talk about what the

British think Americans eat.

:

00:48:28,865 --> 00:48:29,135

So,

:

00:48:30,827 --> 00:48:37,277

oh, and then we, we find out that, um,

Jack's Torchwood team has been sent

:

00:48:37,277 --> 00:48:40,517

on a fake mission to the Himalayas

by the master to get them out of the

:

00:48:40,722 --> 00:48:41,142

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

00:48:41,687 --> 00:48:45,257

We get the, we get the little

flashback of the Master's origin story.

:

00:48:45,257 --> 00:48:48,407

He says this is a new

piece of time, Lord lore

:

00:48:48,407 --> 00:48:50,027

apparently In the who?

:

00:48:50,237 --> 00:48:51,257

In the who universe.

:

00:48:51,257 --> 00:48:52,307

The who verse.

:

00:48:52,517 --> 00:48:54,467

Uh, yeah.

:

00:48:54,827 --> 00:48:57,617

He said that apparently every

time, Lord, at the age of eight.

:

00:48:57,647 --> 00:48:59,507

And of course, I'm wondering,

are we talking eight Earth

:

00:48:59,507 --> 00:49:00,677

years or, but whatever.

:

00:49:01,517 --> 00:49:02,297

Beth: Yeah, right.

:

00:49:02,417 --> 00:49:04,997

Victor: At the age of, yeah, age eight.

:

00:49:04,997 --> 00:49:07,217

They're taken before the, oh, shit.

:

00:49:07,217 --> 00:49:07,577

I wrote it?

:

00:49:07,577 --> 00:49:07,787

down.

:

00:49:07,787 --> 00:49:08,267

Where was it?

:

00:49:08,597 --> 00:49:10,457

The Untempered schism,

:

00:49:11,192 --> 00:49:12,242

Beth: Which is also the

:

00:49:12,497 --> 00:49:12,707

Victor: at a.

:

00:49:13,577 --> 00:49:14,207

Yeah.

:

00:49:14,237 --> 00:49:15,227

That is such a battle.

:

00:49:16,652 --> 00:49:18,752

Beth: We're Untempered Schism

:

00:49:19,157 --> 00:49:19,337

Victor: schism.

:

00:49:19,952 --> 00:49:21,647

Beth: and we're here to melt your faces.

:

00:49:23,757 --> 00:49:25,127

Yeah, good.

:

00:49:25,337 --> 00:49:25,667

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:49:25,754 --> 00:49:26,744

Untempered schism.

:

00:49:26,744 --> 00:49:29,624

That's, that's a, a rite of

passage for every time, Lord.

:

00:49:29,984 --> 00:49:36,985

And he says that sometimes uh, yeah,

it's basically the abyss where every time

:

00:49:36,985 --> 00:49:43,255

Lord's taken before it, and either they're

inspired or they go mad or they run away.

:

00:49:43,885 --> 00:49:46,075

And I gotta ask Beth, what do you think?

:

00:49:46,075 --> 00:49:47,065

What, what do you think

would, what, what's your pick?

:

00:49:47,065 --> 00:49:50,515

What, what do you think you would do when

you, if you saw the Untempered schism,

:

00:49:50,725 --> 00:49:51,985

which, which one of the three would you,

:

00:49:52,735 --> 00:49:53,185

would you pick?

:

00:49:53,785 --> 00:49:55,375

You, you're, you're inspired.

:

00:49:55,645 --> 00:50:00,025

You, they're, they're either inspired,

they go mad or they run away, and

:

00:50:00,025 --> 00:50:02,605

the doctor said he ran away and

he's been running away ever since.

:

00:50:03,235 --> 00:50:03,745

Beth: Fair enough.

:

00:50:03,995 --> 00:50:05,225

I think inspired

:

00:50:05,315 --> 00:50:05,645

might be

:

00:50:05,645 --> 00:50:05,765

the

:

00:50:05,765 --> 00:50:06,515

one I go with.

:

00:50:07,325 --> 00:50:07,745

Victor: I think I

:

00:50:07,745 --> 00:50:07,985

would.

:

00:50:08,105 --> 00:50:09,005

I'd probably go mad.

:

00:50:09,455 --> 00:50:09,575

Beth: I

:

00:50:09,575 --> 00:50:13,565

am in a, so I'm in a constant

state of anxiety at all times.

:

00:50:13,715 --> 00:50:21,965

So when I'm actually like presented with

some chaos or some terrible like do or

:

00:50:21,965 --> 00:50:27,755

die situation or like whatever, I tend to

just get really calm and go, okay, you're

:

00:50:27,755 --> 00:50:29,705

gonna do this and you're gonna do that.

:

00:50:29,705 --> 00:50:32,435

And it's like, my brain's

like, we've planned for this,

:

00:50:32,435 --> 00:50:32,765

dude.

:

00:50:32,765 --> 00:50:33,605

We got this.

:

00:50:33,793 --> 00:50:36,733

Victor: so, so it's like your,

your Adderall is the schism

:

00:50:36,763 --> 00:50:37,033

then.

:

00:50:37,513 --> 00:50:37,933

Okay.

:

00:50:38,263 --> 00:50:41,653

Well, I, I just happen to have an

untempered schism right here with me.

:

00:50:41,653 --> 00:50:42,733

Do you want to, do you wanna try it out?

:

00:50:43,033 --> 00:50:43,393

Beth: Yeah.

:

00:50:43,813 --> 00:50:44,443

Victor: All right, here we go.

:

00:50:44,773 --> 00:50:44,983

All right.

:

00:50:44,983 --> 00:50:45,733

Look into the void.

:

00:50:51,253 --> 00:50:52,363

Are you feeling inspired?

:

00:50:54,913 --> 00:50:55,243

Beth: Kind of.

:

00:50:55,273 --> 00:50:55,933

Victor: Are you inspired?

:

00:50:56,493 --> 00:50:57,413

I don't wanna poke at it.

:

00:50:58,004 --> 00:50:59,024

. Stop poking the schism.

:

00:50:59,024 --> 00:51:00,674

Beth, don't poke the schism.

:

00:51:01,049 --> 00:51:04,384

Beth: Gonna poke the schism,

just gonna poke at it.

:

00:51:06,628 --> 00:51:06,898

Victor: Did we?

:

00:51:06,898 --> 00:51:09,058

Just this other episode

title poking the schism.

:

00:51:09,523 --> 00:51:10,633

Beth: Poking the schism,

:

00:51:10,648 --> 00:51:11,543

Victor: Poke that sch

:

00:51:14,248 --> 00:51:14,518

all right.

:

00:51:14,518 --> 00:51:16,948

So then we find out, this is

where we discover that the

:

00:51:16,948 --> 00:51:18,568

master has been manipulating the

:

00:51:18,568 --> 00:51:23,998

population through radio waves and is

'cause his, I don't, I don't know if,

:

00:51:24,028 --> 00:51:28,528

if the master has the power of hypnosis,

if that's like a, a canonical thing

:

00:51:29,128 --> 00:51:29,728

in its history.

:

00:51:29,728 --> 00:51:33,058

cause this is a, this is the

third or fourth or fifth.

:

00:51:33,058 --> 00:51:33,358

I don't know.

:

00:51:33,448 --> 00:51:35,218

There've been, there've

been lots of masters before

:

00:51:35,293 --> 00:51:35,923

Beth: there have been.

:

00:51:35,923 --> 00:51:36,523

Yeah.

:

00:51:36,733 --> 00:51:40,213

And after, actually, if you

haven't seen the newest ones,

:

00:51:40,213 --> 00:51:42,223

they're lovely, first of all.

:

00:51:42,643 --> 00:51:44,713

And the master is played

by Neil Patrick Harris.

:

00:51:45,388 --> 00:51:47,068

Victor: Oh, no, no, no, no.

:

00:51:47,068 --> 00:51:47,883

That's not is it?

:

00:51:47,898 --> 00:51:48,648

Beth: that's the toy

:

00:51:48,888 --> 00:51:49,668

Victor: the toy master.

:

00:51:49,728 --> 00:51:50,928

The toy maker?

:

00:51:51,168 --> 00:51:51,708

Beth: toy maker.

:

00:51:51,708 --> 00:51:52,908

My B, my

:

00:51:53,058 --> 00:51:53,418

Victor: No, no.

:

00:51:53,418 --> 00:51:55,368

There there's a few

different who villains?

:

00:51:55,398 --> 00:52:01,638

There's the, the master, there's

DaVero, the toy maker, and there's,

:

00:52:01,668 --> 00:52:02,988

I think those are the big three, I

:

00:52:02,988 --> 00:52:03,408

think.

:

00:52:03,498 --> 00:52:05,808

I dunno, I, I'm not, I'm not a big hian.

:

00:52:05,868 --> 00:52:06,678

I just, I I know a

:

00:52:06,753 --> 00:52:11,823

Beth: I feel like the maestro

is now a big one because they've

:

00:52:11,823 --> 00:52:15,723

just been introduced, but I feel

like we're gonna see them again.

:

00:52:16,038 --> 00:52:18,018

Victor: And of course, we always

have the dolls and the cybermen.

:

00:52:18,018 --> 00:52:19,398

They, they always come back.

:

00:52:19,818 --> 00:52:24,318

There was a really good doctor who

special, I think it was in the early two

:

00:52:24,318 --> 00:52:29,385

thousands or maybe the late nineties,

that was uh, part of like a, a comedy gag

:

00:52:29,385 --> 00:52:32,505

thing where the doctor was played by Mr.

:

00:52:32,505 --> 00:52:32,865

Bean.

:

00:52:33,795 --> 00:52:40,630

And, and the master was I forget

his na, the actor's name, but he,

:

00:52:40,630 --> 00:52:44,455

he was the actor who played the, the

High Sparrow in the Game of Thrones.

:

00:52:44,905 --> 00:52:48,325

He, he played the master and oh

my God, he was fucking hilarious.

:

00:52:48,355 --> 00:52:50,335

I, I'm gonna have to find this later.

:

00:52:50,335 --> 00:52:53,695

It was only like a 10

minute skit, but Good lord.

:

00:52:53,695 --> 00:52:54,265

It was so funny.

:

00:52:54,265 --> 00:52:55,795

I, I'll have to find

it and link it in the,

:

00:52:56,545 --> 00:52:56,755

in the,

:

00:52:57,115 --> 00:53:00,535

yeah, it's, it's definitely worth

pausing whatever you're doing

:

00:53:00,535 --> 00:53:01,645

and taking 10 minutes out to

:

00:53:01,645 --> 00:53:01,915

watch

:

00:53:01,915 --> 00:53:02,395

this skit.

:

00:53:02,395 --> 00:53:03,895

it's it's hilarious.

:

00:53:04,625 --> 00:53:07,895

Okay, so yeah, so then the, the

doctor whips up some magic keys.

:

00:53:08,105 --> 00:53:08,345

we're at

:

00:53:08,345 --> 00:53:08,765

an hour.

:

00:53:09,065 --> 00:53:11,165

Yeah, we're at an hour here, so let's,

so let's, let's just blow through

:

00:53:11,225 --> 00:53:11,615

Beth: yeah.

:

00:53:12,215 --> 00:53:17,258

Well, and so Jack Harkness informs

the doctor that he's resurrected the

:

00:53:17,318 --> 00:53:21,848

shady and somewhat murdery little

organization known as Torchwood.

:

00:53:21,848 --> 00:53:22,688

But it's cool.

:

00:53:22,898 --> 00:53:25,058

It's cool now 'cause Jack Harkness made it

:

00:53:25,208 --> 00:53:28,388

Victor: Yeah, I think, I think

Torchwood originally were, their

:

00:53:28,388 --> 00:53:31,118

original mission was to capture

or kill the doctor or something,

:

00:53:31,118 --> 00:53:32,588

but now they like work with him.

:

00:53:33,275 --> 00:53:33,605

I don't know.

:

00:53:33,605 --> 00:53:35,345

I, I, Torchwood was another one.

:

00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:38,615

I tried to get into it, but it couldn't

hold my attention for whatever reason.

:

00:53:38,615 --> 00:53:40,355

But it was, but I

remember really liking it,

:

00:53:40,910 --> 00:53:45,170

Beth: It was pretty much mark me down as

scared and horny, the television show.

:

00:53:45,230 --> 00:53:47,843

So, uh, that, that's Torch

:

00:53:47,978 --> 00:53:50,971

Victor: It almost kind of felt

like, uh, like an Agents of Shield

:

00:53:50,971 --> 00:53:54,231

type thing, except with uh, Uh,

:

00:53:54,246 --> 00:53:54,996

Beth: I remember this.

:

00:53:55,056 --> 00:53:55,356

Yeah.

:

00:53:55,386 --> 00:53:59,886

There was this episode about

cannibalism that like, stuck with me.

:

00:53:59,886 --> 00:54:00,936

Like it haunted me.

:

00:54:00,981 --> 00:54:04,251

Victor: I remember because that was,

that was one of the few episodes that

:

00:54:04,281 --> 00:54:07,671

didn't have any science fiction elements.

:

00:54:07,671 --> 00:54:08,781

It was, was that, that was the

:

00:54:08,781 --> 00:54:09,591

one that was just,

:

00:54:09,756 --> 00:54:14,226

Beth: yeah, it was just about people being

awful and I think that's why it stuck with

:

00:54:14,226 --> 00:54:16,686

me 'cause it was just

like that could happen.

:

00:54:17,212 --> 00:54:17,482

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:54:17,482 --> 00:54:17,812

Anyway,

:

00:54:17,817 --> 00:54:17,997

Okay.

:

00:54:18,002 --> 00:54:18,322

Okay.

:

00:54:18,322 --> 00:54:18,802

Back on track.

:

00:54:18,862 --> 00:54:24,016

. Ah, So yeah, so the doctor makes three

magic keys, that perception filter,

:

00:54:24,496 --> 00:54:25,966

hide them from the Yeah.

:

00:54:25,966 --> 00:54:26,566

Camel keys.

:

00:54:26,566 --> 00:54:26,866

Yeah.

:

00:54:27,446 --> 00:54:31,106

Then the American president shows up

and swoops in at the last minute and

:

00:54:31,106 --> 00:54:34,796

just takes over everything, which I

think is generally how the British

:

00:54:34,796 --> 00:54:36,416

generally feel about Americans

:

00:54:37,221 --> 00:54:37,711

because

:

00:54:37,886 --> 00:54:38,606

Beth: because

:

00:54:39,056 --> 00:54:39,686

Victor: I think they

:

00:54:39,776 --> 00:54:40,526

Beth: it's, yeah.

:

00:54:40,706 --> 00:54:45,356

But they took us over first, so.

:

00:54:45,506 --> 00:54:46,316

Victor: that right now.

:

00:54:46,541 --> 00:54:50,081

Beth: Yeah, they also took

over most of the world

:

00:54:50,546 --> 00:54:51,566

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:54:51,626 --> 00:54:52,136

Yeah.

:

00:54:52,166 --> 00:54:52,796

You know, every,

:

00:54:52,811 --> 00:54:53,021

Beth: it's

:

00:54:53,516 --> 00:54:53,996

Victor: have some.

:

00:54:54,071 --> 00:54:55,061

Beth: taste their own.

:

00:54:55,256 --> 00:54:55,586

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:54:55,676 --> 00:54:58,346

It's nice to just throw that out

there on, because as much as Americans

:

00:54:58,346 --> 00:55:00,776

get shit on once in a while, it's

nice to be able to have someone

:

00:55:00,776 --> 00:55:02,276

else to, you know, we're, anyway.

:

00:55:02,336 --> 00:55:02,726

Yeah,

:

00:55:03,341 --> 00:55:03,851

Beth: Yes.

:

00:55:04,101 --> 00:55:08,741

The part where the US president

says since Britain elected and asked

:

00:55:08,741 --> 00:55:13,311

the US will be taking over this

operation can the British take us back

:

00:55:13,626 --> 00:55:16,116

Victor: I was exactly thinking

that exact same thing.

:

00:55:16,731 --> 00:55:17,991

Beth: We're cool with it.

:

00:55:18,261 --> 00:55:20,901

I know I just said some stuff, but like

:

00:55:23,946 --> 00:55:24,996

Victor: I said some stuff just now,

:

00:55:25,041 --> 00:55:25,461

Beth: other

:

00:55:25,686 --> 00:55:26,406

Victor: take it back.

:

00:55:27,036 --> 00:55:28,206

Save us, please.

:

00:55:28,671 --> 00:55:31,491

Beth: Yeah, other people

in this country, not us.

:

00:55:32,056 --> 00:55:33,226

Elected and asked.

:

00:55:33,226 --> 00:55:35,506

We voted for the lady.

:

00:55:35,566 --> 00:55:40,973

So, um, And then Martha and

Menfolk are watching all of this,

:

00:55:40,973 --> 00:55:42,743

of course, hidden in plain sight.

:

00:55:42,743 --> 00:55:45,183

The master pretends not to see them.

:

00:55:45,183 --> 00:55:49,866

Also I'm just gonna point out he is

wearing a black coat with a red, shiny

:

00:55:49,866 --> 00:55:53,016

lining, kind of like a magician's cape,

:

00:55:53,271 --> 00:55:53,751

Victor: Oh,

:

00:55:54,126 --> 00:55:58,296

Beth: um, which I thought was very

cute of the wardrobe department.

:

00:55:58,521 --> 00:56:00,441

Victor: that this was, the

master was wearing this.

:

00:56:00,591 --> 00:56:01,221

Beth: Yes.

:

00:56:01,381 --> 00:56:03,241

When he was meeting with the president,

:

00:56:03,271 --> 00:56:03,901

yeah, it

:

00:56:03,901 --> 00:56:04,261

was.

:

00:56:04,924 --> 00:56:09,514

and then a paddy wagon pulls up with

Marco's, Martha's folks in the back

:

00:56:09,514 --> 00:56:12,574

and they immediately get loaded into

the back of the master's car while

:

00:56:12,574 --> 00:56:14,494

he points and mocks and laughs.

:

00:56:15,654 --> 00:56:19,524

Jack and Martha talk about a cute

little murder of the master, and the

:

00:56:19,524 --> 00:56:24,234

doctor says that the master is his

responsibility because he's a time Lord.

:

00:56:24,414 --> 00:56:27,264

Victor: But I'd just like to say that

Jack's plan totally would've worked

:

00:56:27,264 --> 00:56:31,074

just fine if you just will let him do

it because he's a fucking time Lord.

:

00:56:31,074 --> 00:56:34,314

He would just regenerate anyway and

that would give him enough time to like,

:

00:56:34,674 --> 00:56:36,954

pull him aside and stop his evil plans.

:

00:56:36,954 --> 00:56:41,154

But no doctor, you gotta be able to like,

no, this is a time, Lord, business me,

:

00:56:41,904 --> 00:56:44,394

Beth: this is time load

business and I want to save

:

00:56:44,694 --> 00:56:45,174

Victor: Yes.

:

00:56:45,174 --> 00:56:46,554

Because they're totally

fucking, you're right.

:

00:56:47,649 --> 00:56:50,979

Beth: Because they're

fucking, um, but yeah.

:

00:56:50,979 --> 00:56:55,419

And so like at some point the

master SAS is the president about

:

00:56:55,419 --> 00:56:58,059

grits which are delicious, first of

:

00:56:58,074 --> 00:56:58,674

Victor: Whoa.

:

00:56:58,974 --> 00:56:59,844

You like gr Okay.

:

00:56:59,844 --> 00:57:02,754

Your Midwest is showing I

have never understood grits.

:

00:57:02,964 --> 00:57:03,834

Oh my God.

:

00:57:04,459 --> 00:57:05,629

Breakfast or or

:

00:57:05,704 --> 00:57:06,004

Beth: yeah.

:

00:57:06,994 --> 00:57:11,914

Um, I haven't had 'em in years, but they

had 'em in my breakfast hall at my school.

:

00:57:13,069 --> 00:57:14,599

Victor: I know some

people put gravy on 'em.

:

00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:17,599

Some people put like jelly

or syrup on 'em, or butter or

:

00:57:17,599 --> 00:57:18,109

salt.

:

00:57:19,094 --> 00:57:20,569

I, I don't understand grits.

:

00:57:20,764 --> 00:57:21,814

Beth: Cheese and hot sauce.

:

00:57:26,179 --> 00:57:26,479

Victor: All right.

:

00:57:26,479 --> 00:57:29,829

Discord di discord listeners let us

know what's your opinion on grits?

:

00:57:29,834 --> 00:57:31,599

How, how, how do you eat grits?

:

00:57:31,959 --> 00:57:34,869

You, I call, I'm call calling

out all the grit eaters.

:

00:57:34,899 --> 00:57:37,389

'cause e explain, make

it make sense to me guys.

:

00:57:38,169 --> 00:57:38,259

I

:

00:57:38,259 --> 00:57:38,469

don't

:

00:57:38,589 --> 00:57:40,779

Beth: there's a, there's, there is.

:

00:57:40,779 --> 00:57:44,079

You've just opened

Pandora's box, by the way.

:

00:57:44,079 --> 00:57:47,169

There's a very serious, yeah.

:

00:57:47,679 --> 00:57:51,669

There's a serious fucking like, debate

:

00:57:51,789 --> 00:57:52,029

Victor: I mean,

:

00:57:52,029 --> 00:57:54,699

maybe I should get into grits

'cause like they're super cheap

:

00:57:54,699 --> 00:57:57,159

and, and, and, and nutritious.

:

00:57:57,159 --> 00:57:58,659

Are they or are they not?

:

00:57:58,749 --> 00:57:59,199

I don't know.

:

00:58:00,016 --> 00:58:04,006

Beth: no, there's super cheap and

I think high enough in calories and

:

00:58:04,006 --> 00:58:09,046

carbs that like when you're like

farming and stuff and you're like,

:

00:58:09,340 --> 00:58:12,523

Victor: Yeah, it was, it's

like, um, oh, what is that?

:

00:58:12,523 --> 00:58:13,723

It's like French onion soup.

:

00:58:13,723 --> 00:58:14,503

It's like, uh,

:

00:58:14,888 --> 00:58:15,248

Beth: yeah.

:

00:58:15,308 --> 00:58:16,873

Or like, there's this thing in

:

00:58:16,918 --> 00:58:19,558

Victor: that's super cheap that

that that you could turn into

:

00:58:19,858 --> 00:58:20,998

Beth: It's farmer's food,

:

00:58:21,268 --> 00:58:21,658

Victor: Yeah.

:

00:58:22,408 --> 00:58:22,558

Yeah.

:

00:58:22,558 --> 00:58:24,808

It's like, like barbacoa

is, I fucking love it.

:

00:58:24,808 --> 00:58:29,338

It, but it's, it was, it was because it

was a cheap part of the, the cow that poor

:

00:58:29,338 --> 00:58:30,928

people could eat and they'd made it good.

:

00:58:30,958 --> 00:58:31,348

Okay.

:

00:58:31,498 --> 00:58:31,888

I get it.

:

00:58:31,978 --> 00:58:33,358

Beth: chitlins yeah.

:

00:58:33,388 --> 00:58:34,198

Where it was.

:

00:58:34,258 --> 00:58:34,618

Yeah.

:

00:58:34,618 --> 00:58:37,018

You just, you made do with

what you had basically.

:

00:58:37,048 --> 00:58:37,108

Um,

:

00:58:38,218 --> 00:58:38,488

Victor: All right.

:

00:58:38,488 --> 00:58:42,148

So they teleports of the tele, the

HEA carrier, um, they find the tardis,

:

00:58:42,148 --> 00:58:44,788

it's been gutted and Yeah, yeah.

:

00:58:44,788 --> 00:58:46,348

The, the he carrier is surprised.

:

00:58:46,348 --> 00:58:49,318

Like this, this predates

the Avengers movie.

:

00:58:49,693 --> 00:58:51,253

This was five years before it.

:

00:58:51,253 --> 00:58:58,463

So they were Dr who has the, has the, the,

the heli care, because that's like a thing

:

00:58:58,463 --> 00:59:01,883

now, you know, in Marvel movies and such.

:

00:59:01,883 --> 00:59:02,543

They, they

:

00:59:03,378 --> 00:59:06,258

Beth: Everything's in,

everything's in the air.

:

00:59:06,468 --> 00:59:06,858

Yeah.

:

00:59:06,858 --> 00:59:09,348

And you totally think that

this is going to be in the sea.

:

00:59:09,348 --> 00:59:11,418

It's the valiant aircraft carrier.

:

00:59:11,418 --> 00:59:12,108

And you think,

:

00:59:12,483 --> 00:59:12,783

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

00:59:13,418 --> 00:59:13,683

It's gonna

:

00:59:13,788 --> 00:59:14,928

Beth: going to the ocean.

:

00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:16,038

But no,

:

00:59:16,113 --> 00:59:16,713

Victor: It's flying.

:

00:59:16,713 --> 00:59:17,553

Mm-hmm.

:

00:59:18,453 --> 00:59:23,003

But then again, maybe they did rip this

off from Marvel because I remember the

:

00:59:23,003 --> 00:59:29,943

original Nick Fury Agents of Shield movies

starring David Hasselhoff actually had

:

00:59:30,693 --> 00:59:30,843

uh,

:

00:59:31,395 --> 00:59:31,815

Beth: hold

:

00:59:32,100 --> 00:59:36,665

Victor: yeah, he had Nick Fury was

originally portrayed by uh, David

:

00:59:36,665 --> 00:59:43,355

Hasselhoff in a, in a Marvel movie

before the MCU in the nineties.

:

00:59:43,355 --> 00:59:45,335

That totally bombed, but they had a.

:

00:59:46,325 --> 00:59:47,345

Yeah, I know, right?

:

00:59:47,465 --> 00:59:47,705

Okay.

:

00:59:47,705 --> 00:59:48,935

Did I just blow your mind, Beth?

:

00:59:49,595 --> 00:59:52,815

Beth: Yeah, I mean, I'm really

glad they went with Samuel L.

:

00:59:52,815 --> 00:59:57,635

Jackson because he is like

significantly better at acting and

:

00:59:57,635 --> 01:00:00,875

significantly less problematic than one.

:

01:00:00,875 --> 01:00:04,635

David Hasselhoff, like Samuel L.

:

01:00:04,635 --> 01:00:08,195

Jackson is wholesome,

and David Hasselhoff is

:

01:00:08,495 --> 01:00:08,675

Victor: yeah.

:

01:00:08,675 --> 01:00:12,395

Well, at, well, when this, then, when

this Nick Fury movie had, you know,

:

01:00:12,395 --> 01:00:13,805

he had the eye patch and everything.

:

01:00:14,145 --> 01:00:19,065

This was, I believe this was before

the video of him drunk on the floor,

:

01:00:19,065 --> 01:00:21,225

eating a cheeseburger, made its rounds.

:

01:00:24,825 --> 01:00:26,985

But anyway, though, there was

a hella carrier in that movie.

:

01:00:26,985 --> 01:00:30,045

It was some really horrible CGI,

maybe it was not even CGI might've

:

01:00:30,045 --> 01:00:32,745

been a matte painting, but I'll, I'll

drop it in the discord for you guys.

:

01:00:32,745 --> 01:00:32,955

Uh,

:

01:00:33,290 --> 01:00:34,100

Beth: But that's just Dr.

:

01:00:34,105 --> 01:00:35,030

Who, like, that's

:

01:00:35,090 --> 01:00:35,420

Victor: yeah.

:

01:00:35,605 --> 01:00:36,470

Beth: the, vibe,

:

01:00:36,740 --> 01:00:37,880

Victor: Well, Well, I like this.

:

01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:38,780

He hella carrier.

:

01:00:38,780 --> 01:00:42,710

It's, it's, it's got that, um, that

PlayStation two graphics going on.

:

01:00:42,995 --> 01:00:44,135

It is pretty cool.

:

01:00:44,315 --> 01:00:47,765

I'll, I'll drop some, you know, I'll,

I'll, I'll drop some heli carrier visual

:

01:00:47,765 --> 01:00:51,305

porn for, for everyone in the discord.

:

01:00:51,995 --> 01:00:57,611

Beth: Anyway, so we're on board,

speaking of the ship so we're on the

:

01:00:57,611 --> 01:01:05,171

ship, um, the doctor and Martha and

Jack find that the TARDIS is aboard.

:

01:01:05,801 --> 01:01:07,721

Um, and they're all like, fuck yeah.

:

01:01:08,021 --> 01:01:09,251

And then they get inside.

:

01:01:09,281 --> 01:01:12,611

Yeah, they get inside, they're

like, fuck no, everything is red.

:

01:01:15,371 --> 01:01:16,781

And yeah, it's a paradox machine.

:

01:01:16,781 --> 01:01:18,551

And Martha's like, what

is a paradox machine?

:

01:01:18,551 --> 01:01:20,201

And the doctor's like, that's not a worry.

:

01:01:20,201 --> 01:01:22,301

If I touch anything, the

universe is gonna blow up.

:

01:01:22,301 --> 01:01:24,251

And she's like, what the fuck do we do?

:

01:01:24,461 --> 01:01:26,261

And the doctor's like, oh,

don't worry, I have a plan.

:

01:01:26,261 --> 01:01:27,161

Didn't I mention that?

:

01:01:27,221 --> 01:01:33,521

And anyway, my butt hole

would just be clenched in this

:

01:01:33,521 --> 01:01:35,171

man's presence at all times.

:

01:01:35,171 --> 01:01:37,211

Like, what do you mean

there's no plan, sir?

:

01:01:38,081 --> 01:01:38,591

Um.

:

01:01:39,686 --> 01:01:40,106

But yeah.

:

01:01:40,106 --> 01:01:45,655

And so then they sneak into the main like

control room or whatever where everyone's

:

01:01:45,930 --> 01:01:46,225

Victor: And the

:

01:01:46,225 --> 01:01:47,755

master totally knows he is there.

:

01:01:47,935 --> 01:01:49,525

Beth: yeah, the master

totally knows he is there.

:

01:01:49,885 --> 01:01:55,195

Um, but anyway, he's all like, Ooh, yeah,

let the president of the united take this.

:

01:01:55,195 --> 01:02:00,295

So the president starts uh, starts

his speech and we pan to a lady

:

01:02:00,295 --> 01:02:04,915

with a baby, just kind of like, I

guess the people of the world were,

:

01:02:04,975 --> 01:02:09,445

uh, you know, everyone's watching,

including some Americans and we know

:

01:02:09,445 --> 01:02:14,965

they're American because I paused it and

I took a picture of it because we need to

:

01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:18,655

analyze this real quick because holy shit

:

01:02:19,045 --> 01:02:21,445

Victor: Was it the one, was

it the dude, bro, who were

:

01:02:21,445 --> 01:02:22,945

chilling with the backwards caps.

:

01:02:23,805 --> 01:02:24,075

Beth: There.

:

01:02:24,285 --> 01:02:27,225

And I didn't get the deed bros

with the backwards caps, but I

:

01:02:27,225 --> 01:02:29,235

did get some American teenagers.

:

01:02:29,265 --> 01:02:30,435

I will send it.

:

01:02:30,495 --> 01:02:32,685

I am sending it to you via Discord right

:

01:02:32,930 --> 01:02:33,220

Victor: Okay.

:

01:02:33,645 --> 01:02:35,295

It'll be, let me see what's going on here.

:

01:02:35,535 --> 01:02:37,365

Beth: Sending and here we are.

:

01:02:37,845 --> 01:02:38,805

Victor: Oh my God.

:

01:02:38,805 --> 01:02:40,935

That looks like a, that holy shit.

:

01:02:40,935 --> 01:02:41,535

That is,

:

01:02:42,375 --> 01:02:46,155

Beth: we have in the

frontier, we've got the Bills.

:

01:02:46,365 --> 01:02:50,445

Adu wearing a Bills jersey and somebody

else wearing a Redskins jersey, which

:

01:02:50,828 --> 01:02:51,668

Victor: Oh my God.

:

01:02:51,758 --> 01:02:52,088

Yeah.

:

01:02:52,088 --> 01:02:53,768

This Was before they changed their name.

:

01:02:54,338 --> 01:02:54,938

And Jesus.

:

01:02:54,938 --> 01:03:01,148

Dude, this looks like you told AI to

give us some American nineties teenagers.

:

01:03:02,078 --> 01:03:02,888

Beth: exactly.

:

01:03:02,918 --> 01:03:06,218

'cause there's like a, there's a

bucket of American fried chicken.

:

01:03:07,118 --> 01:03:07,748

pizza.

:

01:03:08,018 --> 01:03:10,118

Victor: A FC American Fried Chicken.

:

01:03:11,648 --> 01:03:12,878

Beth: there's pizza.

:

01:03:12,938 --> 01:03:15,638

And then there's just one McDonald's cup.

:

01:03:16,028 --> 01:03:17,738

There is a cup of McDonald's,

:

01:03:17,828 --> 01:03:19,178

Victor: There's a cup of McDonald's.

:

01:03:19,208 --> 01:03:20,468

There is a cup of McDonald's.

:

01:03:20,498 --> 01:03:23,438

What, what is this blowup doll

looking thing in the background here?

:

01:03:23,588 --> 01:03:24,278

Beth: Oh, yeah.

:

01:03:24,308 --> 01:03:27,098

The, the pinup girl next to the Elmo,

:

01:03:27,188 --> 01:03:29,438

Victor: is, there's an Elmo there.

:

01:03:29,558 --> 01:03:31,778

Beth: There's an Elmo,

the Elmo's by the plant

:

01:03:32,048 --> 01:03:33,008

Victor: I don't see the, oh,

:

01:03:33,008 --> 01:03:33,668

Beth: So it's like.

:

01:03:34,238 --> 01:03:36,098

Pinup girl and then Elmo.

:

01:03:36,338 --> 01:03:36,848

So

:

01:03:36,908 --> 01:03:38,138

wildly confusing

:

01:03:39,428 --> 01:03:39,698

Victor: Okay.

:

01:03:39,698 --> 01:03:42,998

This was before 3D printing, so that

was a hundred percent blow up doll.

:

01:03:43,058 --> 01:03:44,258

That has to be so,

:

01:03:45,008 --> 01:03:45,458

Beth: right?

:

01:03:45,518 --> 01:03:46,748

What the heck?

:

01:03:46,808 --> 01:03:49,118

But anyway, so that's what America is,

:

01:03:50,228 --> 01:03:51,158

Victor: I mean, they're not wrong.

:

01:03:51,248 --> 01:03:51,638

Beth: yeah.

:

01:03:51,668 --> 01:03:52,328

Fair.

:

01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:52,898

Yeah.

:

01:03:55,478 --> 01:03:59,798

I mean, we're currently in this

state of bullshit for a reason.

:

01:04:01,538 --> 01:04:02,438

Victor: Oh goodness.

:

01:04:02,618 --> 01:04:03,038

Okay.

:

01:04:03,038 --> 01:04:03,458

So yeah.

:

01:04:03,458 --> 01:04:04,418

So then the

:

01:04:04,478 --> 01:04:04,958

the

:

01:04:05,318 --> 01:04:07,628

Beth: It is also 7:58 AM

:

01:04:08,198 --> 01:04:09,158

Victor: 7:58 AM Yeah.

:

01:04:09,158 --> 01:04:10,388

Who is awake watching this?

:

01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:10,958

You know, like,

:

01:04:11,768 --> 01:04:13,298

Beth: Not a bunch of Americans.

:

01:04:13,478 --> 01:04:19,358

Okay, so Americans are drinking, well, the

time zone is six hours, so it'd be one.

:

01:04:19,358 --> 01:04:19,958

No,

:

01:04:20,918 --> 01:04:21,338

Victor: So

:

01:04:21,368 --> 01:04:23,768

Beth: 1 58 in the morning in

:

01:04:23,888 --> 01:04:24,218

Victor: What?

:

01:04:24,548 --> 01:04:25,118

Beth: I believe.

:

01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:25,880

Victor: oh my God.

:

01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:26,060

Yeah.

:

01:04:26,060 --> 01:04:27,860

It would be like super late at night for,

:

01:04:28,790 --> 01:04:30,230

for our Amer bros.

:

01:04:30,665 --> 01:04:32,135

Beth: So I guess that makes sense.

:

01:04:32,135 --> 01:04:34,654

Like if you're, if you've

been drinking beer all night

:

01:04:34,715 --> 01:04:36,335

and you're like really drunk,

:

01:04:36,410 --> 01:04:37,760

Victor: It really depends

on what day this is

:

01:04:38,015 --> 01:04:38,195

Beth: Yeah.

:

01:04:38,330 --> 01:04:38,960

Victor: I gotta say.

:

01:04:39,020 --> 01:04:39,290

So

:

01:04:39,950 --> 01:04:40,279

this is a

:

01:04:40,505 --> 01:04:45,154

Beth: drunk order a shit ton of food,

I don't know, like that makes sense.

:

01:04:45,667 --> 01:04:49,237

so the president starts his

first contact day speech.

:

01:04:49,282 --> 01:04:51,232

Victor: He's like, I'll be

your master if you want me to.

:

01:04:51,232 --> 01:04:53,782

And the taco fan are like, no, you suck.

:

01:04:53,902 --> 01:04:54,202

And they

:

01:04:54,322 --> 01:04:56,602

Beth: They're like, no, you're a sub.

:

01:04:56,602 --> 01:04:57,412

I went to Brat,

:

01:04:58,282 --> 01:05:02,482

I went to verse, um, and then

the master's, like, I'm a verse.

:

01:05:02,542 --> 01:05:07,192

And the whole time, like, so Jack

and Martha and the doctor, um, are

:

01:05:07,192 --> 01:05:10,402

all kind of sitting there and the

doctor's like, Hey, the plan is to

:

01:05:10,402 --> 01:05:12,772

put a camo necklace on this dude.

:

01:05:13,221 --> 01:05:15,322

And if I can't do it,

you guys have to do it.

:

01:05:15,802 --> 01:05:20,842

And then the master is all like,

well, I've been the verse all along.

:

01:05:20,872 --> 01:05:25,852

Hi, I'm the master, and you

guys should shoot the president.

:

01:05:25,912 --> 01:05:30,052

And then they shoot the fucking

president and all hell breaks loose.

:

01:05:30,682 --> 01:05:38,092

And then the doctor tries to s put the,

put the camo necklace on Saxon the master.

:

01:05:38,152 --> 01:05:39,494

And he gets caught.

:

01:05:39,494 --> 01:05:42,074

And the Master's like, I've been

able to see you guys the whole time.

:

01:05:42,074 --> 01:05:43,634

Fuck you bitch.

:

01:05:43,853 --> 01:05:48,323

Victor: and he lasers he

kills, he kills Captain Jack

:

01:05:48,623 --> 01:05:51,023

and he is like Captain

Jack's immortal, and he is

:

01:05:51,023 --> 01:05:52,583

gonna come right back and

he is gonna kill him again.

:

01:05:53,468 --> 01:05:57,638

And it occurs to me that Martha is the

only mortal one in the group there.

:

01:05:57,638 --> 01:06:01,808

So it's like she totally should

have just hung back and like used,

:

01:06:02,018 --> 01:06:05,468

literally used the other two dudes

as, as meat shields, you know, like

:

01:06:05,668 --> 01:06:07,478

Beth: Yeah, yeah.

:

01:06:08,093 --> 01:06:11,693

But Captain Jack is all like,

hey, like realizes Martha's the

:

01:06:11,693 --> 01:06:14,513

only like breakable one basically.

:

01:06:14,573 --> 01:06:19,443

Um, and is like, Hey you

need to teleport out here.

:

01:06:19,443 --> 01:06:19,833

You need to

:

01:06:19,833 --> 01:06:21,183

take my cute leather cuff.

:

01:06:22,023 --> 01:06:23,223

You need to get out of here.

:

01:06:24,669 --> 01:06:26,319

and she's all like, no.

:

01:06:26,349 --> 01:06:28,689

'cause she's noble and

that's why we love her.

:

01:06:28,869 --> 01:06:29,288

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

01:06:29,644 --> 01:06:31,984

Beth: but it's also why we're

constantly worried for her.

:

01:06:33,064 --> 01:06:38,614

Um, and then the master reveals

that he's been basically fucking

:

01:06:38,614 --> 01:06:40,624

with the doctor the entire season

:

01:06:40,984 --> 01:06:43,594

and, um, he's got his hand

:

01:06:43,849 --> 01:06:47,089

Victor: his, he's got his

hand that I think that.

:

01:06:47,614 --> 01:06:51,663

The, the 10th doctor lost in his very

first episode as the 10th doctor.

:

01:06:52,444 --> 01:06:54,394

Uh, that, that was a

whole thing I remember.

:

01:06:55,144 --> 01:07:02,104

And he used, Yeah, he used, uh, he used

the Lazarus labs, Lazarus resurrecting

:

01:07:02,104 --> 01:07:03,874

machine to do some science stuff.

:

01:07:03,994 --> 01:07:08,194

And he uses his laser, laser screwdriver

:

01:07:08,464 --> 01:07:08,884

Beth: Yes.

:

01:07:09,154 --> 01:07:09,784

Victor: and makes

:

01:07:10,234 --> 01:07:11,494

and makes the 10th doctor.

:

01:07:11,584 --> 01:07:12,094

Yeah.

:

01:07:12,634 --> 01:07:16,354

he makes the 10th doctor do a, do

a Bruce Campbell army of Darkness

:

01:07:16,354 --> 01:07:17,704

shake on the screen where he is

:

01:07:18,004 --> 01:07:18,424

Beth: Yeah.

:

01:07:19,444 --> 01:07:19,684

Yeah.

:

01:07:19,954 --> 01:07:21,454

Victor: ages him a hundred years.

:

01:07:21,784 --> 01:07:23,254

Beth: But let's be real.

:

01:07:23,794 --> 01:07:24,754

David Tenet

:

01:07:24,879 --> 01:07:25,299

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

01:07:25,504 --> 01:07:32,944

Beth: at a hundred years old is still

gonna be a fine looking man, but like he

:

01:07:32,944 --> 01:07:34,954

is not gonna look like that at a hundred.

:

01:07:35,119 --> 01:07:38,299

Victor: you know, I gotta say, I, I,

I don't know, maybe it's just just me,

:

01:07:38,299 --> 01:07:42,379

but I think the makeup or costuming

department did really good here.

:

01:07:42,379 --> 01:07:44,119

I mean, it looks almost real.

:

01:07:44,119 --> 01:07:47,764

Like if they just would've put like some

foggy eye contact lenses on 'em, I, I

:

01:07:47,769 --> 01:07:49,819

would, Mike could even believe that.

:

01:07:49,819 --> 01:07:51,739

That's really an old ass man, but,

:

01:07:51,994 --> 01:07:53,404

Beth: I believe it's an old ass man.

:

01:07:53,404 --> 01:07:55,714

I just wouldn't believe

it's an old ass David Tenet.

:

01:07:56,674 --> 01:07:57,184

Like,

:

01:07:57,259 --> 01:07:57,679

Victor: Nice.

:

01:07:58,459 --> 01:07:58,819

Yeah.

:

01:07:59,510 --> 01:08:03,410

Beth: Yeah, and then he

shoots Jack, Jack, blah.

:

01:08:03,830 --> 01:08:06,230

And then sky rips.

:

01:08:06,290 --> 01:08:06,410

The

:

01:08:06,575 --> 01:08:10,235

Victor: rips right open and we get

the best part of the entire episode

:

01:08:10,895 --> 01:08:13,745

where he throws up his screwdriver

in the air with it, pumps his fist,

:

01:08:13,745 --> 01:08:16,505

and he says, here come the drums.

:

01:08:17,104 --> 01:08:21,005

Beth: And then it turns out the

drums are a techno bop called Voodoo

:

01:08:21,005 --> 01:08:21,604

Child,

:

01:08:22,955 --> 01:08:23,915

Victor: I love this part.

:

01:08:24,251 --> 01:08:27,701

And, uh, and I don't know what

it is, just Lucy, Lucy Saxon

:

01:08:27,701 --> 01:08:28,810

in the background there, just

:

01:08:28,810 --> 01:08:30,341

doing her, her little dance.

:

01:08:30,956 --> 01:08:32,156

It was just really cute.

:

01:08:32,156 --> 01:08:34,265

I don't know what it

is, but I'll watch it.

:

01:08:34,296 --> 01:08:36,456

I wa watching it again yesterday.

:

01:08:36,456 --> 01:08:42,330

I, I just watched this part and, and

oh my God, she, she is just, I just

:

01:08:42,330 --> 01:08:46,559

realized that Lucy here doing her

little dance, she's barely moving.

:

01:08:46,559 --> 01:08:47,550

She's just kinda wiggling.

:

01:08:47,550 --> 01:08:50,609

And I realized, wow, that

was their best take for this.

:

01:08:51,045 --> 01:08:51,524

Beth: I mean,

:

01:08:55,109 --> 01:08:56,160

Victor: But it was still really cute.

:

01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:56,970

I don't know what it is.

:

01:08:58,404 --> 01:09:02,215

Beth: But yeah, she is a

white British lady, so it's

:

01:09:02,234 --> 01:09:04,600

Victor: Some, Some, white

British girl dancing,

:

01:09:05,065 --> 01:09:07,434

Beth: yeah, have no spices.

:

01:09:07,625 --> 01:09:10,585

Victor: no spice all their

spice men are the spice girls.

:

01:09:10,690 --> 01:09:15,640

Beth: yes, sorry, the UK please still take

:

01:09:16,255 --> 01:09:17,515

Victor: sorry, but you know, it's true.

:

01:09:17,890 --> 01:09:18,090

So.

:

01:09:19,059 --> 01:09:20,470

Beth: Um, but yeah.

:

01:09:20,470 --> 01:09:27,072

And uh, so then the machine Starts

playing voodoo child and 6 billion spheres

:

01:09:27,192 --> 01:09:27,612

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

01:09:27,942 --> 01:09:28,752

Beth: the sky.

:

01:09:28,952 --> 01:09:33,312

Victor: And The correct usage of

the term decimate here, because

:

01:09:33,312 --> 01:09:35,772

that literally, I hate it when

people say, oh, I was decimated.

:

01:09:35,772 --> 01:09:37,662

I'm like, oh, one 10th of you is missing.

:

01:09:37,721 --> 01:09:38,381

Is that what you're saying?

:

01:09:38,697 --> 01:09:39,627

Beth: Yes.

:

01:09:39,971 --> 01:09:40,782

Victor: I know, Ben.

:

01:09:41,112 --> 01:09:43,301

Ben, if you're listening, I

know you appreciate the correct

:

01:09:43,301 --> 01:09:44,756

usage of the term decimated

:

01:09:44,761 --> 01:09:45,072

here.

:

01:09:45,237 --> 01:09:46,017

Beth: is listening

:

01:09:46,136 --> 01:09:48,297

'cause he's very supportive.

:

01:09:48,297 --> 01:09:51,897

He is the Internet's dad and

also the podcast networks dad.

:

01:09:52,346 --> 01:09:52,676

So

:

01:09:52,782 --> 01:09:53,412

Victor: bosom daddy.

:

01:09:54,102 --> 01:09:56,127

Beth: do, do not hold me to your bosom.

:

01:09:58,587 --> 01:09:59,397

Keep your bosom to

:

01:09:59,397 --> 01:09:59,847

yourself,

:

01:10:00,007 --> 01:10:00,597

Victor: bosom to,

:

01:10:02,547 --> 01:10:03,897

Beth: Um, but yeah.

:

01:10:03,897 --> 01:10:08,577

And so he pulls a Thanos and

orders the spheres to remove one

:

01:10:08,577 --> 01:10:10,107

10th of the Earth's population.

:

01:10:10,737 --> 01:10:15,717

Martha tears in her eyes because at this

point her family is also in the room

:

01:10:16,287 --> 01:10:22,227

and the doctor is being held by Lucy

Saxon and the master and being forced to

:

01:10:22,357 --> 01:10:22,647

Victor: Yeah.

:

01:10:22,782 --> 01:10:23,232

to watch.

:

01:10:23,232 --> 01:10:28,452

this rain of metal balls coming down

out of the sky and just, just, just

:

01:10:28,542 --> 01:10:30,672

puke all over the, the entire planet.

:

01:10:31,242 --> 01:10:34,452

Beth: And Martha is kind of left

with an impossible decision.

:

01:10:34,722 --> 01:10:42,942

Um, and so she has to leave her

family and her, I mean really her

:

01:10:43,092 --> 01:10:45,222

biological family and her found family.

:

01:10:45,462 --> 01:10:49,062

Um, and she has to tele Aport out

:

01:10:49,197 --> 01:10:49,617

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

01:10:49,722 --> 01:10:51,492

Beth: she says, I will be back.

:

01:10:52,242 --> 01:10:55,302

And that leads me to believe

that like, 'cause what I would do

:

01:10:55,302 --> 01:10:59,202

in this situation and you know,

she is much smarter than I am.

:

01:10:59,262 --> 01:11:05,652

Like she, she, you know, probably

teleported back in time would be

:

01:11:05,727 --> 01:11:05,847

Victor: would

:

01:11:05,847 --> 01:11:05,937

be

:

01:11:05,937 --> 01:11:06,807

the smart thing to do.

:

01:11:06,897 --> 01:11:07,227

Yeah.

:

01:11:07,947 --> 01:11:11,397

Because that is a time, it is

a time vortex, whatever it is.

:

01:11:11,397 --> 01:11:13,497

A vortex manipulator,

I believe is, is what

:

01:11:14,382 --> 01:11:14,892

Beth: Yes.

:

01:11:15,687 --> 01:11:15,957

Victor: Yeah.

:

01:11:16,332 --> 01:11:17,382

Beth: Comes with a hangover.

:

01:11:17,877 --> 01:11:18,237

Victor: Yep.

:

01:11:18,702 --> 01:11:20,396

and that uh, that's our episode.

:

01:11:20,396 --> 01:11:20,456

It

:

01:11:20,456 --> 01:11:20,816

goes to

:

01:11:20,891 --> 01:11:21,491

Beth: her episode.

:

01:11:22,856 --> 01:11:23,786

to be continued.

:

01:11:23,786 --> 01:11:23,936

on.

:

01:11:23,936 --> 01:11:24,206

Cool.

:

01:11:24,206 --> 01:11:25,946

Girls don't look at explosions.

:

01:11:27,446 --> 01:11:27,926

Victor: so

:

01:11:27,926 --> 01:11:31,646

Beth: gotta tune in to find

out who the hosts are gonna be.

:

01:11:31,856 --> 01:11:38,306

Victor: so if I'm, I, I have to

ask you, Beth, on a scale of one

:

01:11:38,306 --> 01:11:41,246

to, are we at 13 Doctors now?

:

01:11:41,246 --> 01:11:41,306

I.

:

01:11:42,326 --> 01:11:43,376

Beth: I think we're at 14,

:

01:11:43,496 --> 01:11:45,416

Victor: if you count David

10 at twice, it's 15.

:

01:11:46,016 --> 01:11:46,436

Beth: 15.

:

01:11:46,706 --> 01:11:47,006

Victor: Yeah,

:

01:11:47,066 --> 01:11:48,056

Beth: Aren't we still on?

:

01:11:48,214 --> 01:11:49,144

Victor: We'll just say 14.

:

01:11:50,059 --> 01:11:50,349

Beth: Okay.

:

01:11:50,434 --> 01:11:54,454

Victor: On a scale of one to 14 time Lord

doctors, how do you rate this episode?

:

01:11:56,206 --> 01:11:57,226

Beth: It is really good.

:

01:11:57,226 --> 01:12:02,056

And I was like very enthralled

from the start to finish, but

:

01:12:02,596 --> 01:12:07,563

it reflects too closely our

world that we're living in right

:

01:12:07,748 --> 01:12:08,253

Victor: A little bit.

:

01:12:08,253 --> 01:12:09,243

Yeah, a little bit.

:

01:12:09,308 --> 01:12:11,702

I, I, I watch sci-fi to escape reality.

:

01:12:11,702 --> 01:12:15,903

I don't like being reminded of, of the

nightmare that we're actually living in.

:

01:12:16,083 --> 01:12:16,533

So

:

01:12:17,013 --> 01:12:20,583

Beth: So I think on a scale of one

to 14, I'm gonna give this to Peter

:

01:12:20,583 --> 01:12:24,573

Capaldi just because it's too real.

:

01:12:25,143 --> 01:12:26,253

Victor: Yeah, I agree.

:

01:12:26,253 --> 01:12:29,823

I I would give it a 10

out of a 10 out of 14.

:

01:12:30,033 --> 01:12:30,843

It's enjoyable.

:

01:12:30,843 --> 01:12:32,913

It's one of the more memorable Dr.

:

01:12:32,913 --> 01:12:33,963

Who episodes to me.

:

01:12:34,413 --> 01:12:37,173

It's a little cartoony ridiculous

in some places, but that's

:

01:12:37,173 --> 01:12:38,343

part of the charm of Dr.

:

01:12:38,343 --> 01:12:39,423

Who I think so,

:

01:12:39,573 --> 01:12:40,773

Beth: is for sure.

:

01:12:40,952 --> 01:12:45,683

Um, and that's kind of why we love

it because the show really tends

:

01:12:45,683 --> 01:12:50,813

to juxtapose cartoonish stuff with

serious stuff and then we end up

:

01:12:50,813 --> 01:12:52,403

with these incredibly emotional

:

01:12:53,013 --> 01:12:53,433

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

01:12:54,223 --> 01:12:54,513

Yeah.

:

01:12:54,779 --> 01:12:57,449

And the, the 10th, do you

have a favorite doctor?

:

01:12:57,568 --> 01:12:59,999

Like out of all the, of all the who's,

:

01:13:00,451 --> 01:13:03,541

Beth: sort of, it is a tie

between nine and 10 because

:

01:13:03,541 --> 01:13:05,341

that is really when I started.

:

01:13:05,341 --> 01:13:07,981

And Steven Leston will

always have a place in

:

01:13:08,086 --> 01:13:08,956

Victor: Did you say Steven?

:

01:13:08,956 --> 01:13:09,706

I thought it was Christopher Leston.

:

01:13:11,221 --> 01:13:12,421

Beth: It's Christopher Eccleston,

:

01:13:12,421 --> 01:13:12,711

Victor: Yeah.

:

01:13:12,961 --> 01:13:13,351

Beth: isn't it?

:

01:13:16,441 --> 01:13:19,201

I don't know why I always do

that, but I always do that.

:

01:13:19,801 --> 01:13:24,781

Um, so he will have a

special place in my heart

:

01:13:24,886 --> 01:13:26,656

Victor: I did, I did like his style.

:

01:13:26,716 --> 01:13:30,136

He, that, that, that wicked

leather jacket that he wore

:

01:13:30,136 --> 01:13:30,886

and Yeah,

:

01:13:30,961 --> 01:13:32,011

Beth: he was just cool.

:

01:13:32,011 --> 01:13:34,051

he was very punk, you know?

:

01:13:34,801 --> 01:13:39,421

Um, he was like, he was like a

fashionable punk because he had like a

:

01:13:39,421 --> 01:13:42,211

kind of Vivian Westwood thing going on.

:

01:13:42,831 --> 01:13:47,181

like I'm a professional, but also

I rock a lot of leather, you know?

:

01:13:47,811 --> 01:13:48,291

But yeah.

:

01:13:49,081 --> 01:13:49,531

yours?

:

01:13:50,186 --> 01:13:53,576

Victor: I gotta say it's gotta be

Peter Aldi that he's just, I didn't

:

01:13:53,576 --> 01:13:55,136

care for the 11th doctor too much.

:

01:13:55,136 --> 01:13:56,696

David Tenet was pretty amazing.

:

01:13:56,696 --> 01:13:59,246

I gotta say, he's just, like I

said, he's a very beautiful man.

:

01:13:59,816 --> 01:14:06,266

But uh, Capaldi just had this wit

and, and just is just scathing sass

:

01:14:06,536 --> 01:14:07,136

that is just,

:

01:14:07,511 --> 01:14:08,231

Beth: old man.

:

01:14:08,231 --> 01:14:08,261

I,

:

01:14:08,336 --> 01:14:12,746

Victor: oh, and, and then when I found

out that that one episode where he went

:

01:14:12,746 --> 01:14:17,516

back to just hang out in the, in the dark

ages just to give himself a vacation and

:

01:14:17,516 --> 01:14:23,166

he rides into, to a, the gladiator arena

on a tank playing an electric guitar.

:

01:14:23,799 --> 01:14:28,479

Uh, I found out that, that Peter Capaldi

is actually a wizard on the guitar.

:

01:14:28,479 --> 01:14:30,639

He was actually playing

the guitar in that scene.

:

01:14:30,639 --> 01:14:32,559

I'm like, oh, you're fucking cool as shit.

:

01:14:32,559 --> 01:14:33,818

I will never be that cool.

:

01:14:34,089 --> 01:14:35,949

Beth: actually in a punk band.

:

01:14:35,949 --> 01:14:37,929

Like he, Peter Capaldi was an actual

:

01:14:38,244 --> 01:14:40,943

Victor: Yeah, dude, that guy's

a Yeah, he's cool as shit, so,

:

01:14:40,959 --> 01:14:44,139

Beth: but the 11th doctor, I

did start out not liking him

:

01:14:44,139 --> 01:14:45,279

'cause he wasn't David Tenet.

:

01:14:45,579 --> 01:14:47,769

Um, and I was a child literally.

:

01:14:48,249 --> 01:14:53,699

And, but but the episode where

they show Van Gogh his works and

:

01:14:53,789 --> 01:14:54,299

like,

:

01:14:54,464 --> 01:14:55,274

Victor: beautiful.

:

01:14:55,274 --> 01:14:55,874

Yeah.

:

01:14:55,949 --> 01:14:57,389

Beth: I'm like, I could feel it.

:

01:14:57,389 --> 01:14:59,999

Like I could feel getting, like,

I'm getting a little clumped

:

01:15:00,179 --> 01:15:00,599

Victor: Mm-hmm.

:

01:15:00,719 --> 01:15:01,379

Beth: thinking about it,

:

01:15:01,466 --> 01:15:03,236

Victor: That's an example of what

you were talking about, how it,

:

01:15:03,236 --> 01:15:07,346

how it, how this show can do some

be ridiculous hijinks, but also

:

01:15:07,346 --> 01:15:10,706

hit you with the feels that

is, that is the essence of Dr.

:

01:15:10,706 --> 01:15:11,426

Who, I gotta say,

:

01:15:12,086 --> 01:15:15,206

it's like hitting you with the

feels, even with all the hi jinks.

:

01:15:15,416 --> 01:15:15,986

Beth: It is.

:

01:15:16,046 --> 01:15:22,256

And speaking of feels I just wanna

thank Jeremy Siegel for letting us

:

01:15:22,346 --> 01:15:25,886

use his song for the theme music.

:

01:15:26,066 --> 01:15:30,146

You can find him at jeremy

siegel 40 two.bandcamp.com

:

01:15:30,236 --> 01:15:33,716

and on Spotify under Nuclear Jaguar.

:

01:15:34,466 --> 01:15:39,926

And I would also like to think

the shit out of angry duck time

:

01:15:39,926 --> 01:15:45,896

machine for our podcast Art

Aaron, you lovely, beautiful man.

:

01:15:46,676 --> 01:15:48,116

You lovely patient.

:

01:15:48,746 --> 01:15:51,446

Wonderful, beautiful man.

:

01:15:52,031 --> 01:15:54,911

Victor: He has more patience

than uh, human is capable of.

:

01:15:54,911 --> 01:15:55,151

I think

:

01:15:55,271 --> 01:15:56,081

Beth: Seriously.

:

01:15:56,651 --> 01:15:57,041

So

:

01:15:57,041 --> 01:15:57,911

patient.

:

01:15:58,301 --> 01:16:03,641

So patient for wading through

what I'm sure is mostly tangents.

:

01:16:04,151 --> 01:16:07,811

thank you for editing this

podcast and thank you to you

:

01:16:07,811 --> 01:16:09,941

listener for bearing with us

:

01:16:12,325 --> 01:16:14,618

Victor: Hit us up on the What

Happened here at Productions Discord

:

01:16:14,978 --> 01:16:18,038

Beth: yes, come share

your opinions on grits.

:

01:16:20,077 --> 01:16:21,483

Victor: and we will see you next time on.

:

01:16:22,287 --> 01:16:24,387

you are, who you are, who,

:

01:16:25,317 --> 01:16:27,702

Beth: Who hoops to the,

:

01:16:28,332 --> 01:16:30,747

Victor: who, whos does this yet?

:

01:16:31,467 --> 01:16:31,757

Beth: okay?

:

01:16:31,897 --> 01:16:32,117

Bye.

:

01:16:32,307 --> 01:16:32,967

Victor: see you next week.

:

01:16:32,967 --> 01:16:33,297

Internet.

:

01:16:42,713 --> 01:16:43,013

Beth: yeah.

:

01:16:43,073 --> 01:16:47,993

No, we are both the, they put

the a, DD gremlins together

:

01:16:48,083 --> 01:16:50,029

and uh, this will be pure

:

01:16:50,029 --> 01:16:50,839

chaos.

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About the Podcast

Who Are You?
A Babylon 5 Watchcast
Join Laura and Xhafer, two internet strangers as they get to know each other while making jokes about one of their favorite TV shows from their childhood, Babylon 5.